In January 2009, I started writing letters, secretly, to J in a journal. I did really well for a few weeks of writing every day. Then reality set in and it was several times a week. It only took just a few minutes to write some of the positives of the day. I kept it up for several months but then, since I was doing it secretly, I lost the journal. I would keep moving it to a safe place so that J wouldn't find it and one day I couldn't remember where I had put it. AAAHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!! Enter major freak out! I searched high and low to no avail. Finally I gave up and decided it was gone for good.
Fast forward to this past weekend. I started a MAJOR clean up of my house. Trying to de-clutter and get rid of soooo much crap. I swear the crap multiplies at night. :( Lo and behold I found the journal. Woo hoo!!! So now I'm back to writing secret love letters to my daughter. Along and along I will let her read some of it but I'm going to keep it in my sticky hands until she's at least 30 so that it won't get lost in the movings and events of life. I believe there will come a time in her life that it will be more precious than gold but probably not for many years.
The letters are sometimes one liners and sometimes several pages depending on how tired I am or how much time I have. I have found that this journal is also a gift to me when I re-read what I have written. It keeps me focused on the positive and also warms my heart on hard days.
Here's a couple:
Dear J,
Did you know that I sneak into your room at night to watch you sleep? You now have the most peaceful face. It is most certainly the face of an angel. I will sit and watch you for long periods of time. Sometimes your nose will twitch and sometimes you talk in your sleep. Sometimes you are all sparkly from fairy dust. Always you are my precious daughter... I love you, Mom
Dear J,
Today you made me giggle so many times. I love you, Mom
Just typing these to share with you makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in spite of the fact that today is not an especially stellar day for either of us.
So I will keep writing and this time I will keep the same hiding place. :-)
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8 comments:
I *heart* this...and she will too, one day. (((hug)))
Great idea. Thanks for sharing. You are such a great mom.
I've done the same thing in the form of encouragement notes for all my kids. I give it to them at Christmas each year (my older ones no longer need them) and I tell them to read them when they feel I don't love them! It also helps keep a record of the little steps of progress. Good for you, my friend! So glad you found it.
Love it! I could never wait until she was 30, though. I am a terrible secret keeper.
Super great idea...I will have to do this...and wait until she's 30.
It sounds like you rediscovered it at just the right time! I love it!
My mother wrote us three kids similar letters, starting the day we were born. She managed to keep it up daily for almost the whole first year of each of our lives. Then every few months for a few years, and then annually on birthdays. The letters are on hodge podges of paper -- some are even on scrap paper, and I have no idea how she managed to keep them all together and somewhat organized (our house growing up was extremely messy and cluttered!). We had no idea she was writing these letters. She gave them to each of us when we left home, which happened at different ages for each of us. I know for all three of us they are some of our most prized possessions. Now that she is dead, it is so lovely to have them and to have her handwriting be part of something that is so precious to us.
I needed this for a certain child...the reminder to look for eh beauty, even if it is at night when they are sleeping...this beautiful. Your love for your girl is inspiring!
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