Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Secret Love Letters to My Daughter
In January 2009, I started writing letters, secretly, to J in a journal. I did really well for a few weeks of writing every day. Then reality set in and it was several times a week. It only took just a few minutes to write some of the positives of the day. I kept it up for several months but then, since I was doing it secretly, I lost the journal. I would keep moving it to a safe place so that J wouldn't find it and one day I couldn't remember where I had put it. AAAHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!! Enter major freak out! I searched high and low to no avail. Finally I gave up and decided it was gone for good.
Fast forward to this past weekend. I started a MAJOR clean up of my house. Trying to de-clutter and get rid of soooo much crap. I swear the crap multiplies at night. :( Lo and behold I found the journal. Woo hoo!!! So now I'm back to writing secret love letters to my daughter. Along and along I will let her read some of it but I'm going to keep it in my sticky hands until she's at least 30 so that it won't get lost in the movings and events of life. I believe there will come a time in her life that it will be more precious than gold but probably not for many years.
The letters are sometimes one liners and sometimes several pages depending on how tired I am or how much time I have. I have found that this journal is also a gift to me when I re-read what I have written. It keeps me focused on the positive and also warms my heart on hard days.
Here's a couple:
Did you know that I sneak into your room at night to watch you sleep? You now have the most peaceful face. It is most certainly the face of an angel. I will sit and watch you for long periods of time. Sometimes your nose will twitch and sometimes you talk in your sleep. Sometimes you are all sparkly from fairy dust. Always you are my precious daughter... I love you, Mom
Today you made me giggle so many times. I love you, Mom
Just typing these to share with you makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in spite of the fact that today is not an especially stellar day for either of us.
So I will keep writing and this time I will keep the same hiding place. :-)