Monday, June 30, 2008

Peeing your pants funny....

For grins and giggles and if you've got a real sick sense of humor (like me as I stray to the Far Side) go here to the ultra funny Foster Mom to Many.

God bless you Torina for sending me there. I really needed the ROTFLMAO!

Still here

Too much has been going on lately. 2 employees out all last week (and the week before) and this week one is on vacation and one from last week is still out sick. Had to let an employee go. Sucks but such is the economy. Then add in the loss of my friend. Haven't felt like typing. Just trying to make ends meet.

G's community party was fabulous as always and J had a great time. She fell asleep in my lap about 30 minutes before the fireworks started so she got a little cat nap before the main event. I can't believe she turned off the hypervigilence with over 30k people surrounding her but she did!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Another Angel in Heaven

A good man left us Saturday traveling to what is surely his heavenly home. Godspeed Mr. Hatfield.... You will be missed.....

Eat some chicken in his honor please.

Friday, June 20, 2008


Thanks to everyone for all of your positive comments. It really picks me up and gives me much more to be grateful for in my already blessed life.

Since I was attending a CASA appreciation dinner last night we were a little off schedule. J had a really large time drying my hair for me before I took a super-size and super-hot flat iron to it. 450 degrees should straighten just about anything! Then we ran downstairs to do a Reiki treatment which left her very calm and relaxed.

G was on time to take me to the dinner. God bless him! I think it's the first time he's ever been on time! We left J eating a huge bowl of vegetable soup (one of her many favs) and in anticipation of finishing Daddy G father's day present. Her "please don't go mama" tugs at the heart strings and at least these days she really means it. More progress for J.

Dinner was (as always) out of this world at Glen-Ella but the chicken piccata was so wonderful I could have taken a bath in it! My to-do list today includes calling Ed to see if I can talk him out of that recipe! Seeing old friends (and family) and meeting new ones was just lovely. Mary Perdue was the guest speaker arriving by helicopter in the meadow behind the gardens. Honestly she was not as impressive as Stephanie Ayers. Stephanie and her husband have fostered more than 70 children and adopted 5 to add to their 5 bio-children. Her story was very inspiring at the (all volunteer) work that CASA does to protect our children. Our Mountain Judicial Circuit of CASA doesn't have a website yet (not for long because I am working on that even as I type) but here is more info on the work of CASA. Priscilla and I were talking this morning and it was funny that we were both thinking the same thing. If J had had the luxury of having a CASA she probably would never have had to go through much of the trauma she has received and not have had such a severe degree of RAD. On the other hand, if she had had a CASA I might not have her now because she would not have been on the path to me.

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Awesome daughter
3. Chicken piccata
4. G being on time
5. Priscilla for urging me to attend the dinner.

J's Gratitude:
1. Awesome Mom
2. Awesome teacher
3. Riding her bike
4. Riding her scooter
5. Jumping rope
6. Learning about Crete

Thursday, June 19, 2008


I am happy (over the moon!) to report that J painted her first cloud in her classroom. Jessi called and said it was like teaching a completely different child. She said she had never met this child before! J made it through all 6 subjects and her exercises in The Learning Breakthrough with time left over to paint her cloud AND have time to play! Whoo hoo!!!!

Eating Machine

AT was awesome yesterday. She participated willingly and actively. At the end of the session the AT did some guided imagery for her while I cradled her in my arms (giving Reiki at the same time). J fell asleep. She has only been able to relax in my arms enough to fall asleep once before so I was incredibly impressed!!!! She slept for like 20 minutes!!!! Big stuff for the princess!!!! The AT had remarked earlier that she could tell that J had taken her trust level of me to another level and that it was blatantly obvious. I could tell it too but it was so great for someone else to see it too. Most RAD kids have very large pupils due to their hypervigilience and J's have been very small ever since she got home. Another great sign! Note: It's really interesting to be in a room of RAD kids and see all the large pupils staring back at you. I had this privilege at a camp and it can be really disconcerting.

Since J came home she has been an eating machine. Last night she had a HUGE (I'm talking 6 inches across 4 inches tall) hamburger, 2 tomatoes (GA grown of course), 2 servings of baked beans, 4 deviled eggs and a huge handful of bing cherries for dessert. An hour after playtime she was hungry again! Another huge serving of baked beans, 2 more deviled eggs and more bing cherries before bedtime.

She had a blast riding her bike, scooter and jumping rope! She made it to 71 consecutive jumps too! Great attitude in place. By the time she made it to the massage table last night the baked beans & deviled eggs had gone to another level. Imagine that! My nose was greeted with such lovely (insert facetious tone here) aromas during her massage and Reiki treatment. By the time I finished I needed a military grade gas mask! Pee eeewww!

She awakened in a fabulous mood this morning even though she was still tired. I gave her a Reiki treatment right after her strong sitting and she is becoming more and more receptive to it. She told me she could feel God healing her heart and her hurts.

Hopefully she'll get to paint the first cloud today!

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Awesome daughter
2. Watching J play
3. The smile on J's face when she sees the angels
4. AT
5. The best kiss ever!

J's Gratitude:
1. Awesome Mom
2. Awesome Teacher
3. Baked beans & deviled eggs
4. A blue classroom
5. Fun school
6. Puddin

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Jessi just called me and said that J had her best day ever in school! She was very respectful, responsible, fun to be around and she tried really hard. Tomorrow if she has great day too she'll paint her first cloud in her classroom!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

Proud mom I am!

Home Again

The princess is home! Yahoo! She was so glad to be home. Very loving, sweet, fun, just precious all the way around. Vowing to work very hard for Mrs. Kacak because she doesn't want to leave home again. She says she can't wait to go to Mrs. Kacak's school. Another Yahoo!

Short on time because she got home at 5:15 and we had to be at therapy at 6 so we stopped for Mexican. An adult order of carnitas along with Chrissi's portion of refried beans and she was still a member of the clean plate club. Dessert of fried ice cream and she was a very happy girl.

The AT was very impressed with J's changed attitude as she says now that she WANTS to go to Mrs. Kacak's school and she WANTS to learn and she WANTS to try hard. Yea! We all worked on helping her see the difference in her attitude and she was very proud of herself. G was waiting in the lobby when we got out of therapy and she was very happy about that too.

Home to a scented bath, fresh jammies and a handful of fresh bing cherries. Princess couldn't wait for a massage and I gave her a Reiki treatment too. She loved getting Reiki! She even told me saw angels around her and one was lying on the bed! That was really cool! She loved that her classroom had been painted sky blue and I told her that Mrs. Kacak said that whenever she made lots of good choices that she would let her paint a cloud on the wall. She was really excited! (Actually it was Chrissi's idea but she graciously allowed Mrs. Kacak to take the credit since we're trying to help J see her as the awesome teacher that she is.)

This morning she didn't want to get out of bed. She was still pooped! Once her feet hit the floor she was a fast & snappy girl though. She was so fast I had time to give her another Reiki treatment before school. (I gave her classroom a Reiki treatment too just for good measure.) J started school early today because she wanted to!

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Awesome daughter
2. My kid is home!
3. J wants to go to school!
4. J has a great attitude!
5. Fabulous AT

J's Gratitude:
1. Awesome Mom
2. Being home
3. Seeing angels
4. Cherries
5. G coming to see her
6. Awesome teacher
7. Getting to go to fun school

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I'm still here.....

So sorry I've been MIA. There's been so much going on around me and in my head that I haven't felt like blogging. God bless you Tudu & Gerri for caring....

Last Thursday I sent J to another respite provider in Tennessee because J was again beyond horrible to Mrs. Kacak. I am so afraid that I have condoned her behavior by allowing this to go on so long. Feeling terribly guilty about it too. Feeling guilty about sending her to a new respite provider too. Mrs. Fisk is a trained provider and has worked with lots of RAD kids so I have lots of confidence in her but J had never met her before and so I worry. The therapist, Mrs. Gaddy and myself all were in agreement that she needed a shock to motivate her to do something different because she knows the drill at Mrs. Gaddy's and I think it doesn't work as well now because she knows the drill But it's hard on so many levels. Plus I miss my little princess.

Early Saturday morning I took Chrissi to the airport for her vacation. She is touring LA, San Fransico, Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Vegas and the redwood forest with a tour group of other Au Pairs. It is a requirement of the Au Pair program that she vacation for 2 weeks in America. She won't be back until next Monday. (Next month she will go to DC, NY, Phildelphia & Boston for her 2nd week.) I miss her too....

I left Hartsfield airport in a flurry and flew back to NE Georgia in time to make my Saturday Al-Anon meeting. It was good to be back and more than one eyebrow was raised that I was finally in attendance. The soft, orange chair was still awaiting me. It was sooo good to be back.

Saturday afternoon & Sunday were spent at the lake. Robin, Brian, G & I all had a great time and spent most of Sunday on the boat or in the water because it was unbearably hot!!!! Speaking of which I have a nice little sunburn on my shoulders & neck to prove it. Yes....I did use 30 sunscreen (and lots of it) several times but I still got one nonetheless.

During all this time I have been actively studying to become a Level II Reiki practitioner and yesterday I received my certification. I promptly went over to my parent's house to work on my mom since she has been in great pain with her left hip, leg & foot. Back this morning to give her another treatment and am proud to report that she is having some relief.

Reiki is supposed to be excellent for emotional problems which is why I studied to be a practitioner. This isn't a change of professions for me. I knew it would be hard for J to let someone else give her Reiki so I made the decision to (thanks to Chris & Mary Mc) put forth the effort to give J a little extra help.

Also, while J is gone I am re-painting her classroom (it is a dark, rich red since the room used to be the room that I painted in) to a soft, pale blue. I am hoping this is going to be more soothing for her as well.

I have cleaned out cabinets and thrown away crap that seems to multiply like rabbits around my house. Even though I've been cleaning my house looks like a tornado hit it because I have stuff scattered hither & yon.

Tonight I'm going to give my mother another Reiki treatment. Tomorrow I'm going to the lake with a friend that is going to try to mark off my property lines so that I can take the neighbors to small claims court about cutting my trees down. Hate that going to court business but am afraid if I don't more trees will disappear.

Bad girl is on hiatus. Hoping she'll return soon.

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Chris
2. Sandy
3. Mary McKenzie
4. G
5. Reiki

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A feeling of relief....

Emergency therapy session last night and J tried to work on what is going on. Lots of tapping and exercises for a neurologically damaged brain. J promised to write a 2 page heartfelt apology letter to Mrs. Kacak. (Letter was her idea to make up for her behavior. G met us at therapy in the hopes to get J out of her funk. It didn't work but J coughed up all of her bad decisions regarding Chrissi & Jessi and I was proud of her for owning her behavior. Then only J & I went into therapy and J told G good bye. God bless him he was still waiting when we got out. He was very supportive in telling J that she is responsible for her actions but her bad decisions could land her in some very bad places but we were really hoping that she could change things up. We went through the list of everything that we are doing to help her but G told her that she had to do her part too. Which is all too true. I was VERY proud of G too! It was a big step for him. After therapy Ms. Kristy asked J if she had been honest with G while she & I were talking and she said no. So Kristy had her tell G (looking him in the eyes) that she was afraid if she was completely honest with him that he wouldn't love her anymore. Of course he responded positively that he would love her no matter what she did. Proud moment again!

This morning J did great doing all the new tapping & rubbing and exercises. Then we talked about the letter and it was straight to meltdown. 0-60 in 2 seconds flat. When I left (late for work) she was still in full meltdown mode. Beating myself up because I can't be at home with her.

Back to the bad girl (me). My dear sponsor read yesterday's post and instead of calling me she came to my office. God bless her! Probably all the way here she was probably telling herself "that girl has really done it now." :-) I couldn't help but get tickled when Deb said Priscilla is here to see you. I fessed up immediately and was told to write a hundred times "it is fun and it's ok." Whew! I know my friends had already told me that but somehow when Priscilla did it made it REALLY ok. My conscience is clear now.....what a relief! P.S. Priscilla, I have written my sentences and it's the new tape playing in my head..... I think I can get over myself now!
Sometimes it is good to be bad!

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Priscilla
2. Jordan
3. Connie
4. Kristy
5. Robin
6. Tudu
7. Gus

J's Gratitude:
1. Mom
2. Ms. Kristy
3. Bike
4. Leap Frog
5. Daddy G

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Trials & Tribulations Plus "Bad Girl"

J came home Friday against Mrs. Gaddy's judgement because she wasn't ready. It was obvious to me as well. She refused to do anything for any of us all weekend and tested EVERYTHING! Cried over nothing all the time. Usually she comes back from TMR and she does fabulous. Not so this time. I think Mrs. Gaddy had too many kids last week (4 respite, her 2 and her sister's granddaughter). So money not well spent. Of course it could also be that it's going to take longer for J to get it because the abuse has been going on so long. Who knows????

Yesterday she was again a little hellion with Jessi. 20 things on her bad choice list including trying to hit Jessi, throwing her paper and pencil across the room and throwing a huge screamer. *heavy sigh* I truly do not know what to do. Mrs. Gaddy recommended that maybe a new respite provider might be helpful since J doesn't seem to be listening to her. So...I talked with one in TN, who is trained by Nancy Thomas and have sent in the application. It really worries me but I know this isn't working and she'll never get back in public school if she doesn't learn that throwing fits and threatening to kill the teacher is not acceptable behavior. This TMR provider only takes one child at a time and that would be better.

I took her to the doctor yesterday (because she has been going to the bathroom so often) and she has a very low grade kidney infection so he started her on antibiotics.

I proudly announce that embracing my inner "Bad Girl" finally happened. I wasn't just bad. I was BAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD!!!! And it was fabulous!!!! I am still blushing even though Connie told (ordered) me to "stop it!" Gerri....I remember your message and you were pretty darn close. Sorry to scar you again. ;-) Tudu.....You will be soooooo proud of me. :-)

Lisa's Gratitude:

1. Bad Girl

2. Bad Girl

3. Bad Girl

4. Bad Girl

5. Bad Girl

6. Bad Girl (yup...that was 6 bad girls)

J's Attitude:

1. Crappy