Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Traumaversary Update

J won over the blog fates.

It is now officially an anniversary rather than a traumaversary.  Can I get a great big

Woo Hoo!!!!!

J asked me Friday if we were going to celebrate our anniversary.  I told her probably not on Sunday because we had some other things going on.  She understood.  We have never celebrated our gotcha day because it was soooooooo incredibly hard for so many months BEFORE the anniversary date AND she never wanted to celebrate.  For her to ask to celebrate was HUGE!!!!!  HUGE, people, HUGE.  Sunday night when I tucked her in I told her "happy anniversary, honey bunny, and I'm so glad you didn't throw me away."  She started laughing so hard and she said, "I'm so glad you didn't throw me away!!!!"  It was a touching moment and one that I never thought we would get.  Yes, I left the room before I teared up. :)

Yesterday we played hooky from school and got up at the butt crack of morning to go watch the sunrise over the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Followed by breakfast in Blairsville, Burt's Pumpkin Farm to pick up our ginormous pumpkins, hiked Amicalola Falls, lunch in Dahlonega and home to put out our pumpkins.  It really was a wonderful day and I hope I can always remember every detail of goodness that we shared.

I am so grateful for every hard decision that had to be made because she is worth it.  She is truly living up to her potential and this is something I wasn't sure was going to happen.  Would I do anything different????  Only a million things.  Did I do it perfectly?  No way.  I've made millions of mistakes and so much I wish I could close my eyes and have a "do over".  But we made it and that's what counts.

An aside: For all you parents that are living with spouses that don't get it and you have to make the hard decisions without backup, I commend you.  This stuff is not for sissies and it's so much harder when spouses don't get it.  The kids lose and it's just another mountain that us Trauma Moms have to climb (as if it weren't hard enough).  I love that line...."if you're not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem."  Be a part of the solution.

I keep trying to get Michael Moers to do a Daddy Boot Camp to teach all his "Daddy Awesomeness".  A request I've made so many times that I'm sure Christine would love to duct tape my mouth.  Although if she were in Georgia it might happen. :)

Happy Anniversary to us!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Life in the Grateful House

I am testing the blog fates....

October 23 is our gotcha day.  The day my world and life as I knew it changed forever.  I have changed and grown in ways I didn't even think possible.  All because my warrior child forced me.  Dragging me kicking and screaming with her as she has changed and grown into such a beautiful young lady.  This year will mark 5 years that I have been blessed to be her mom.

Every year her traumaversary has started around August 1st and proceeded to be horribly challenging until around the end of November.  Last year we saw great progress when the traumaversary behaviors didn't start until the end of September and ended right after her birthday, November 9th.

You can read about traumaversaries here, here, and here.

This year we are one week away and they haven't started yet.  Do you hear the heavens singing????

Is it because I've been reminding her almost daily that her traumaversary was coming up so she needed to get ready to start having tantrums?

or because we're hooping almost daily? More about that here.

or because we did the commitment ceremony in June?  Read about that here and here.  Tissue alert.

or because of all the tapping?  (I've written so much about tapping I can't pick just a couple so use the search in the sidebar.)

or because she's been here five years and she's starting to believe that I'm not going to bail on her?

or because of niacin?  More here, and here.

or all of the above????

Honestly, I just don't know.

I do know that I am so proud of her and of me.  Because this parenting trauma gig hasn't been easy.

We've had to fight our way to love and every step of the journey has been so worth it.  Every tear, lost friendship, every minute of therapy, every everything.  Worth it baby.

I wouldn't change a thing.  We're living Life in the Grateful House.