J has been doing really well lately. She's had some interesting worries about her birth mom and a lot of anger. Apparently we've worked through those. Even though I'm still having her tapping on the anger surrounding BM and using the TAT method for trauma release. Dramatically better.
Also, she's starting to get more creative. It used to worry me that she couldn't pretend anything. No fantasies or creative mind things ever popped out of her mouth. Then I started to understand that in her world of trauma, who had time for a fantasy life or the time to be creative or inventive???? It was life or death man! It's was all about staying alive, protecting the heart....Couldn't waste time on wishes, dreams or fairies. Now I'm starting to really see her imagination come to life. It's so much fun to watch and listen to her these days. You just never know what might pop out of her mouth but it's almost always entertaining. ;-)
Last Tuesday the chemicals at the aquatic center were horrible. They're changing over from chlorine to salt and they were seriously screwed up. Wednesday J's hair was so brittle that it felt like it would break in your hands. I gobbed aussie mir*cle conditioner on her hair and left it for 45 minutes. She rinsed it out and I gobbed it with tons of mayo for 30 minutes. It was only slightly improved. Does anybody have any ideas to overcome the damage?????
This little cutie patootie is NOT for sale. ;-) Spring at the lake is glorious and the azaleas are in full splendor. So is J.
Posts
21 comments:
I will consider that Wii Fit. I've been thinking about buying one. Let me look at our budget!
She is SO beautiful!! I don't know what to do about the hair--what a bummer!!
I have fantasies of buying a Wii someday...sigh.
I have been tapping with the kids. Seeing big improvement with my ButterBoy...but it makes Lil Guy really uncomfortable to address how he feels about himself. Baby steps.
As for the brittle hair...there is a swimmer's shampoo and conditioner at Walgreens that you can get that will soften it up. I don't remember what it is called though...
I guess I'm blessed in the imagination department...that is not a problem.
For hair, I like to use the leave in conditioners (for myself), but haven't tried them on my li'l girl.
Get some straight shea butter. Put some in a little dish and warm in the microwave until it is liquid. Cake it on and leave it overnight.
Will also make YOUR hands super soft. :)
Something else that might help is coconut oil warmed in the microwave if necessary (though you are in a warmer part of the country than I am) I use this on my AA kids and it helps with their bodies ashy skin and with their hair. Not the only thing I use on their hair but the bonus is that it is food grade and you can also cook with it! (smile)
Your post about trauma and lack of imagination was interesting. I thought that perhaps my Rob had little imagination because he spent a really revolting amount of time in front of a TV during his foster care years, but the trauma could play a role that I had not considered.
I wish I had some suggestions for the hair. Sorry. ☺
Watching my kids play "pretend" is one of my favorite things to do. Hooray that J is beginning to tap into her creative side.
J is such a darling ... and her eyes look so HAPPY!
I have really missed you!! I'm glad I found your blog again!!
Funny about the pretending. I only know what kids usually do from Teena and she can put on a full broadway production in her own secret language using only a pencil and a plastic bear. So Genea has been unable to pretend at ALL. Interesting how all that awful stuff manifests some times. Just this past week I have seen her pretend playing.
Oh yeah, and GREAT pic of J. Gosh she just gets prettier and prettier. I remember that pic you have from when you first met her with food on her face looking a wreck. How far she has come!
She is such a beautiful girl. Inside and out. So happy to hear of good days and fantasies. :)
Try using Pomegranite oil as a hot oil treatment. If that doesn't work, I have some special stuff of Alyssa's that I will send you. A good swimmers shampoo and conditioner will help too. I use stuff from Sally's. Do you have a Sally's by you?
I would love a Wii Fit - but alas, no job-no money!
Cute, indeed! And looking very happy and growing up. :)
I will add my 2 cents to the hair thing. Folks are right about swimmers' shampoo and deep moisture stuff left it overnight or at least a half hour. You want to get moisture back into the hair. With Corazon's AA hair we use an aloe vera gel but I would bet shea butter, coconut oil, etc would work. Any shampoo you use should have EDTA in it since that is an acid that removes chlorine from hair. You probably know this already but when C. is swimming every day we put a conditioner in her hair before swimming (with or without swim cap) and pull it up (braid, etc) to protect as much as possible AND ALWAYS wet it before going into pool also offers protection.
Sorry so lengthy. Can you tell we have dealt with this before? :)
Do you know how many times J has me in tears? Mostly happy tears, from understanding what she came through, and how, with her mama's help, she is triumphing over the horror. Her real self allowed to bloom. AWESOME!
She is such a pretty girl! Love that she is pretending more, sounds like she is getting to be kid finally:)
Mary says to try a baking soda rinse, since baking soda neutralizes. If that doesn't work, make a paste with it and glop it on!
Love,
Chris
get a deep conditioner and put it on her wet head, focus it on the damage. Go easy on the washing for a bit. wrap in saran wrap and a warm from the dryer towel... keep it on as long as she can stand and then rinse.
when swimming in the future wet her hair and apply a conditioner before hand.
baking soda is good too...but not for correcting damage but for deep cleaning the scalp. mix a little soda w/water.. make a paste... apply to the scalp gently.. it can feel abrasive. Then rinse & shampoo as normal.
queen helene cholesterol is cheap and good.. sold at sallys beauty
Nexxus keraphix
olive oil will work in a pinch
That is such a good picture! So beautiful.
GLAD to hear you worrying/loving her creative side... Man, there are parents who don't give a hoot about creativity and they have kids who didn't have their imagination-option taken away from them.
::applause::
Plus, as someone who exists in the artsy-fartsy world, I can tell you - so many of us are people who came from terrible places and art ( in some form or another) saved us - not to mention linked us to other people like ourselves.
(My two cents!)
Look at her! She is really growing and I love that smile. Puts a smile on my face!
Post a Comment