Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Somebody's Got Some Mad Going On

No names but boy has somebody been in a foul mood. Of course y'all know that I had to pay for being away a couple of weeks ago. Big mad session in therapy today. She got out lots of anger. On the inside she feels like a piece of trash (her words) and that I'm going to throw her away some day. Today she was able to get out all those angry feelings about the SW's that treated her like trash (again her words) and her birth mom that treated her like trash. It was a powerful session. Then she got out some more anger because she's really mad at herself for acting like a RAD kid. Whole lot of screaming that she didn't want to be a RAD kid anymore and that she wanted to be a normal little kid.

I was so proud.

The AT did some GI (the one on softening pain in the 2nd section) and she added the analogy that it was like her heart had black cords wrapped around it to protect it from the pain and hurt that she had felt. Then she added that some day when J is ready the black cords will fall away or she will pull them off and not need them to protect her heart anymore. She really related to the black cords so I had the idea to get a heart pillow and a skein of black yarn. Every morning she's going to check inside and see how many cords are around her heart then take her pillow and wrap it with the black yarn so it reflects what her real heart looks like.
Then she picked out another heart pillow that will reflect the way she want her heart to look. It was soft, pink and pretty large.

When we first got home she started wrapping her heart up in black cords. She wrapped it so much and so thick with yarn that you couldn't tell that it was even red much less heart-shaped. She worked on it for almost an hour. Then she announced that was the way her heart used to look. 15 minutes later she had unraveled it and wrapped it 3 times with yarn and told me that this is what her heart looked like now. This could be interesting.....

For those of you on the the other blog... 15 more hours. AAAAHHHHHHAAAAA

Cindy....I need you to email me.....pretty please. schmuv!

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Hang in there, Lisa!!

Christa said...

I love the analogy and the way you have allowed her to physically create it. Wrapped 3 times isn't so bad. 15 hours...that's 10 hours less than when you posted this morning. Hang in there.

marythemom said...

I almost cried at the thought that her heart might still be that wrapped in string. I was so amazed that she only wrapped it 3 times! You are doing an amazing job with that little girl. I'll go on her site to tell her how impressed I am with her.

Mary in Texas

waldenbunch said...

You are doing an amazing job. Just remember you're making a difference in a life, and you may never know how the world will be changed by that life. I cling to that every day!

Accidental Mommy said...

Wow, you must be so overwhelmed a tired. What a roller coaster.

I hope some day some of my kids will be able to express themselves that way. I also hope that J will be able to recognize just how far she's come and how hard she worked to get there.

SocialWkr24/7 said...

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Wow, so powerful the work you are doing with J! She's such an amazing kid. :)

Linda B. said...

I wish I could be a tiny little something or 'nother and watch you guys in AT. Sounds so powerful. I remember DQ saying she felt like a piece of trash that we are going to throw away, but the therapist we had didn't have much to say about it. Dang it all.

Ashley said...

Wow, Lisa- I thank God every day that precious miss somebody has an awesome Mom likr you.

tubaville said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

breath in

breath out

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

pam said...

It breaks my heart that she has such pain. But it gives me such hope that she has come so far!!

Alyssa's Mom said...

Oh Lisa!

Please tell J that I am very proud of her for being able to get all that mad out!

I have every confidence in the world that working together, all that black yarn will disappear.

I will be thinking about you tomorrow!

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Wonderful progress! I am impressed that she spent an hour wrapping the heart then took it apart and wrapped it 3 times. That is so huge.
I have been paying for my trip too. It just finally lifted a few days ago.
Please post your updates as you get them. I will be glued to my computer tomorrow!

Homer and Queen said...

Kristina P. sent me here...I would really like to talk to you! Mine is 11 yrs old, No yuckies or grumpies, just blank and unemotional! I need help and no AT's in Vegas!

Maury said...

Oh wow, how powerful!! I think this hear thing is going to be a great tool for you two!

Muppet Soul said...

Almost there, almost there...

Good Lord, that girl is better at expressing herself than most adults.. That yarn thing = amazing.

That sounds like a breakthrough, no?

Jo said...

It breaks my heart that she is mad at herself for the RAD. Not her fault and done to her, and yet, she lives every day with the pain. Times like these make me grateful that Little Man doesn't know this pain.