Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Monumental Event

Tomorrow evening a monumental event is going to occur. My parent's church has a Wednesday evening service with a chef prepared buffet and afterward age appropriate programs. My mom called yesterday and asked if they could take J. I'm over the moon that they are taking an interest in having a relationship with J. A year ago this would've been impossible but she's come so far. She's such a great kid and I want them to have a relationship with her. My relationship with my maternal grandparents was very close. Almost to the point that it was hard to discern parents from grandparents. They lived next door so it was only a run through the woods, then the pasture, and around the pond to their house. I was richly blessed to have them so close and to have such a special relationship. Hoping my daughters are as lucky.

New is still hard for her sometimes so they're going to start small and only do the dinner to help her be successful. Hoping and praying all goes well so that they will invite her again for her to do the programs. Who knows....maybe they'll try an overnight sometime. :)

BTW....we've officially made it through the lovely journey of annual traumaversary. It's getting better every year. Consistency, tools to deal, greater healing, more therapy....it all helps. Expecting next year to be even easier.

Saturday J is going to work with another RAD friend who's in the thick of her annual traumaversary. Should do wonders for J's feelings and her friend.

Did you know that some kids have traumaversaries from body memories that happened at birth? That still astounds me.

10 comments:

motherissues said...

That's awesome news! J has made so, so much progress. It's been wonderful to watch from afar and I expect more great "firsts" in her future!

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Ohhhh, that really is awesome!

waldenbunch said...

That is so great, for J, for your parents and for you. I am the baby of the family and my parents were too old to help/understand when we adopted our 3. Now that my dad is gone and my mom is in a nursing home, it's a constant reminder of fear and death for my Rad kids. I'm so glad that your parents are willing to work with you. Congrats to all of you!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

So glad to hear about your folks taking J out. It adds a whole new layer of connection to their relationship and to J's deepening relationship with you. Sadly, in our family, The Other Mother's parents don't acknowledge our bio/foster and adopted children in a public way. Christmas, Birthdays, family dinners, YES - but public events, NO! It is so sad because they are missing out on some great kids. J is very lucky to have brave grandparents willing to step outside their comfort zone! I wonder how K will see this and react...Hopefully with longing!!!!

J. said...

you know that you are not really awake yet when you almost leave the comment for Corey's blog on Lisa's blog and then wonder why Essie is so happy for Corey's challenges.
Right this would be a good post, way to go J! Hope it goes well.

Jeri said...

Outstanding! This is the reward for all the hard work you, J, your nanny and surrounding friends have done and continue to do.

Dia por Dia said...

That's great for everyone. I do hope it goes well. I have a question from you...what have you encountered that is truly effective in helping "remove" these trauma memories from their body memories?

BT said...

Wow and congratulations on all fronts. I bet J's going to do great at the dinner. And I think it's great that your parents "get" the idea of a slow introduction to this kind of thing and are only doing the dinner. J can perhaps observe a bit of what preps are being made for after dinner or see a bit of it as they are leaving, and she will know that much more for next year. (My money's on the idea that there WILL be a next year on this one!)

Innocent Observer said...

"Did you know that some kids have traumaversaries from body memories that happened at birth? That still astounds me."

Could you explain this in more detail? I'm not sure what you mean.

Deborah said...

I want more information on that, too - the traumaversaries from things that happened at birth. What kind of things?

That's great news about J and your parents, though.