Lie Detector Test & Other Stuff

Here's the lie detector test video. J & I performed especially for you this afternoon. Sorry about the quality.

Rules on the lie detector test. Do not have a watch or cell phone on you. The test will not work correctly if you or your child are touching any electronic device.

You ask the question, have the child stick their arm out and repeat the statement. Tell them to resist you as you push down on their arm. If their arm stays strong and does not push down they are telling the truth. Always ask them to say their name first. If they can't hold their arm up when you push down on their name their energy is messed up and you need to straighten it out with rubbing or tapping. Test again after and see if energy is correct. If it is you can continue with other questions. If it's not rinse and repeat with tapping or rubbing. A lie or false statement will cause their arm to go down when you press on it. A truth will mean that their arm will stay firm and you can't press it down. If you think they might lie on purpose and let their arm go down without trying, use the opposite statement. For example, don't use, I hit Johnny, instead have them say, I did NOT hit Johnny.

Try it out on your spouse or friend to get the hang of it before using it on your child. I'm getting lazy lately and check for everything. Such as, if I don't want to go check to see if J has brushed her teeth well I just do the lie detector test. It's a fabulous time saver.
Think of all the things you can find the answers to.

I did not hit my brother.
Suzy is bothering me.
I feel sick.
I did my chore correctly.
My brother punched me in the stomach.
I did not start the fight.

You can solve all of life's whodunits. :)

I've had several people email me about the Guided Imagery so instead of going back and finding the link and all the other stuff so here it is again.

More free info on tapping is on http://www.tapping.com/. Sign up for their free weekly newsletter and it will let you print out a tapping map which is helpful until you learn all the appropriate spots. Once you get the hang of tapping it's a piece of cake and can be a lifesaver. Don't be scared of it because you cannot screw it up. Give it a shot!

Excellent energy info in Donna Eden's Energy Medicine Kit. A DVD, CD, cheat sheets, and book all for less than $20.

Guided Imagery. Invisible Heroes - Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal. $10 Must. Have. Book. Thousands of dollars of therapy in this book. Lots of them you can do at home. I have recorded sessions in my (soft, soothing, non-stressed out) voice for both J & Special K with soft music (Biolateral music, Delta Sleep music, Mozart, etc) in the background. I download them to a MP3 player or CD and they play all night long in their room on a boom box. I've tweaked all of the scripts for guided imagery so they have been "customized" for each of my girls individually. It's important to start at the beginning and don't miss any appropriate scripts because they build on each other. 3 stages. 1. Preparing to process trauma, 2. Processing trauma, 3. Trauma recovery. IMHO I would do stage one and two in the home but save the second stage to do in the AT's office. The second stage shouldn't be played all night long but processed with help and move on to the third stage. If you have a fabulous AT they will listen to you when you ask them to read this book. Chances are they have already heard of it and have it in their arsenal. If they haven't read it they will sing your praises for telling them about it. You will also get many other ideas that will help you help your child. No home with an adopted child should be without this book. Not. even. kidding.

Do one recorded script and play it all night long for a week. Note any changes. After a week or so add another one and play them in succession. So on and so forth.....

J update: Since adding the prescribed hourly fits things are improving rapidly. Yay us!

Idiocy Award

Mad

Happy
Scared



Sad



It's official. I am an idiot. I racked my brain, over and over and over. Still couldn't figure out the problem. Therapy today with a big ole slap across my face. J was all over the place and had totally regressed. Fear was imprinted all over her face. Huge, mind boggling fear. October 23 is the anniversary date. Big duh.













I started off all strong last January telling J almost daily that she needed to have fits starting in August and to start planning them because her anniversary date was coming up. Normally she starts in August and continues until about a week after the anniversary date. I have reminded her almost daily until August and the fits didn't come and I quit reminding her. Duh again.













Even when she didn't have a concept of time her body remembered it and they would start and be incessant. The good news is that now they're starting a month ahead instead of 2 months. Yay!

Now I'm prescribing an hourly fit. It needs to be at least 2 minutes. I've marked it on her calendar and we're counting down the days. We'll see....











Her birthday is also is big instigator of trouble. Therefore this year we are celebrating (in a small fashion of course) at least 2 weeks ahead. Going to cut that off at the pass.

In case you're wondering....above we're practicing using the correct facial affect for the emotion. Something most RAD kids have trouble with. J has it down pat but Special K is still learning. J did not want to be left out she so got to practice too. :)

Anybody know where I can pick up my idiocy award?????

Backward

I'm taking it down a notch and going back to M & M training today. Too lazy to find the link to explain it. Something needs to change and it needs to be me. Some of it is just the ebb and flow of RAD and that's ok. Some of it is just a battle of wills. It just doesn't need to be my will mucking it up.

Last of Summer

Lots going on but just don't feel like blogging about it. Decided instead to share some happy pics with you. Trying to figure out a new camera and photo shop el ements. Need a course. It would be a lot faster. The first 2 pics were taken last week. The last remnants of summer.

Fall arrived this weekend. 3.5 inches of rain in 2 hours on Saturday evening. Sunday was a glorious, sunny day. The leaves started falling yesterday and haven't stopped. My yard is now covered in leaves. The temperature fell fast and we slept with the windows open and the fall breeze drifting in the house. Tomorrow night is supposed to be in the forties. Thinking we're going to go from fry to freeze pretty quick.

Saturday morning, J tripped over the vacuum hose and slammed her foot into the vacuum cleaner. It's now bruised pretty bad. As soon as it happened she thought she needed to go to the hospital. LOL!

Promise to be working on a video of the lie detector test soon.

Cast Update & Flooding

We're all OK here and haven't floated away. Atlanta and several surrounding counties took the worst of it but most of northeast Georgia is OK. The county next to us took a pretty big hit though. Thankfully all of the dams held on all the local lakes. Several of them are a little iffy so we weren't sure if they would make it. Tuesday night the water was about 10 inches above the floor of the boathouse. We were going to go up and check it out yesterday morning but evidently Tuesday night they opened all the flood gates on the dam and it was just to the top of the sea wall by morning.

Tuesday morning, we were still without internet and the girls were itching to do something after being shut up for 7 straight days. So we made the big mistake of traveling to downtown Atlanta. It was fine on the way down but when we were starting home the major flooding started. I couldn't see in front of me it was raining so hard. A waterfall was coming down off of spaghetti junction. Truly scary. Hazard lights the whole way and white knuckling the steering wheel. It took me 2 hours to drive what should have been 30 minutes. I was afraid to pull off so I kept going. My hands were sore all day yesterday from holding the steering wheel so hard.

The surgeon removed J's cast today. Huge YAHOO! She's now in a soft wrist splint that she can take off when bathing, washing her hands and sleeping. We go back on the 12th and that should be removed. Think she's missing the cast and all the attention. :-)

I am so far behind on blog reading I'm going to start over tomorrow.

Nice Little Surprise

There has been a lonely subscription in my goo gle reader for a very long time. The author had to abandon it due to some hateful trol l. I just never could bring myself to delete it. So many giggles, snorts and hilarious antidotes were had reading that subscription that it just seemed wrong to remove it. This week I was rewarded for being nostalgic and sentimental. It magically turned black and I gasped out loud and practically fell all over myself trying to open the post. Then I did the ugly happy dance. Seriously.

So just in case you haven't heard.....the wigged out cat is back (y'all know who I'm talking about)..... yippee. So go add her to your reader. You can't beat me though. First!

Tough Week

It's been a pretty tough week around here. Solidifying my belief that if you blog about success that it will come back and give you a rather large bite in the arse.

When I finally remembered to do the lie detector test (energy test) it proved that J still has trouble believing that she deserves to have fun. And last week was fun on c ra ck. Nashville (not including the antics of Special k), the parkway, etc. J is temporarily residing in the guest bedroom downstairs until we get some things figured out. An antique chest, that was willed to me, paid the price.

Desperately needed to go to the grocery store and the pharmacy but couldn't go with both girls dysregulated. Connie came down to sit with them while I made a fast and furious 35 minute run to town. New world record.

Tapping of the week...."even though I don't believe I deserve to have fun, I'm a totally great kid and my mom totally loves me."

Shine On

Another motorcycle/mom mobile trip up the Blue Ridge Parkway this weekend. J really let her light shine this trip. She was so much fun to be around. We went to Santa Land on Saturday morning and she did the roller coaster and loved it. Huge for her. Normally her fear level won't let her do anything like this. Petting zoo, train ride, carousel, ferris wheel, etc. She had a blast.

She also rode on G's motorcycle for the first time. Just to breakfast and back to the hotel but still. Now I believe she's a biker in training. Time for my nerves to get rattled I'm sure. I had finally gotten up my nerve to let her ride a bit on the parkway since the speed limit is 35 mph and there's very few places for people to get on and off the parkway. So....I suggested it to G. He wouldn't let her. Turns out a driver pulled out in front of him and almost hit him on the way up and it had shook him up. Me too once I found out about it. I asked him if he understood why his mom almost had a coronary when he got his first bike at 9. He got it.

I let her ride up front with me so that she could see better and she loved it. Tons of fun and everyone remarked about her happiness. Even waiters and hotel clerks.

Fast forward to today. Lots of struggling going on. Me too. I just wanted to keep riding. Honestly, it's been too much for me too. Nashville, Chrissi leaving, 3 day trip to the mountains. Back to the real world.

Chrissi's Perspective

As y'all know Chrissi is here visiting us from Germany. She was J's au pair for a year and became all to familiar with the crazy stuff in our house. I've asked to write a post to document all the changes she's seen in J in the last two weeks and what's different since she left last September. Lisa

From Chrissi:
Last year J was always in a bad mood, grumpy and hateful. No fun to be around. She argued all. the. time. and didn't matter what it was about. She didn't understand any jokes. She didn't know how to express her feelings and she always wore her evil face if things didn't go her way. She had looks that showed she wanted to kill you. We slept behind locked doors. She just cared only about herself even though she hated herself. She was really mean. Very whiney all the time and controlling and bossy. She dragged to do anything that you asked her to do. Slow, slow, slow. She raged every day. Everyone was kept at a distance. If you got too close she made you regret it. Around G she was always very charming and a little angel. She viewed her relationship with G as boyfriend/girlfriend. Hitting, punching, kicking, biting, spitting on everyone and everything almost every day. She was never grateful for anything and always wanted more of everything. If we went somewhere or she had to be around strangers she would have total meltdowns after we came home. If you gave her a compliment she would rage. She constantly stomped through the house and the house would shake. She couldn't watch television without having a meltdown. You couldn't trust her with anything. Anything that came out of her mouth was a lie. She hated everyone and everything. She never did anything right the first time. She made everything a battle. She was always mean to Puddin. You could never take your eyes off of her because Puddin would be hurt. She was frustrated about everything. The smallest thing was too hard for her to do and she would give up. She worked to destroy everything. Her heart was filled with hate and anger.

Now J is fun to be around. We have had such a great time during my visit. It's been wonderful to see the changes. I still read this blog while I'm Germany but until I saw it with my own eyes I didn't believe the changes she has made. Her whole attitude changed. She can express feelings appropriately and show and receive love from Lisa. Everyone else too. She cares for others and shows her concern. She notices if there are things that need to be done and does them without being asked. If she gets into a bad behavior and she tries to catch herself not to throw a fit and change it up. Chores are no longer a battle. She does them willingly and with a good attitude. She looks to herself for a consequence when she has done something wrong to make it up to that person and it's appropriate. You don't have to be afraid to take her places or worry about being around new people. She can have fun without making everyone pay for it. She can understand jokes and laugh about them. She can be silly and funny now. Her imagination improves greatly. She is grateful and appreciates even little things. She sees Daddy G as her dad and not her boyfriend. You can trust her now. She doesn't kick, hit, punch, bite, or spit anymore. She doesn't try to hurt Puddin anymore and is very kind to her. We don't have to stay behind locked doors at night. She has found her place in the family and loves it and she knows that she belongs. She's not whiney, bossy or controlling anymore. She doesn't scream at you when things don't go her way. No more evil looks. Her face is full of joy now. She wants a relationship with her mom and looks to her for help and love. Now she doesn't give up and keeps trying. She still gets frustrated but it's rarely and like a normal kid. Now she only stomps when she is mad and that's very rare. The lies have stopped and you can trust her. She can watch television without raging. She has a real laugh and smile. They come from her belly and are genuine, which makes me smile, too. She loves others and herself. She is very proud of herself. Before she was never proud of herself.

Now J has a beautiful heart. She is not just beautiful on the outside she is really beautiful on the inside too. I'm really glad I got to see the new J. I would've never believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. She's a totally different child. I'm glad she worked so hard on herself and I've had a blast spending every moment of my stay with her. I'm really proud of her. I'm glad she has so many people that helped her find her beautiful heart. I can't wait to see her the next time and experience where she is then.

Sincerely,
Chrissi

It's way cool to hear Chrissi's perspective since we were knee deep in troubles when she left. She knows what we lived through and to see it through her eyes helps me be even more grateful. There is hope. This post is all about hope. I can't wait to read it to J in the morning. She'll be proud too. Especially since she knows that Chrissi doesn't throw around compliments lightly. She is German. :)

Neuro Disorganization

I now have a nicely typed cheat sheet for neuro-reorganization exercises compliments of our AT. If anyone needs this for your kids please send me an email to lisa amos @ payco . org and I'll send it on to you.

We're doing these daily for SK since she struggles with balance, energy being flipped and:

Faltering Speech
Confusing L & R
Difficulties with spatial organization
Reversing letters/numbers
Restricted arm swing or homolateral arm/leg movement
Awkwardness
Clumsiness

Face book

More cool pics on my face book wall. I don't have the patience required for the 3 forevers it requires to post them here. So if you haven't already, go friend me on the button below so that you can see them.

Some day I'll figure out how to imbed the slideshow here. Or not.....

Long Days

Friday morning at 11 AM, J fell off her pogo stick onto her right arm (dominant). She has a high pain tolerance so when she was still crying 30 minutes later I knew that we needed to go to the hospital. Chrissi was trying to get her mind off of it by going to her happy place in her mind, the beach, etc. It wasn't working. Chrissi then asked her what was her greatest dream in her whole life. J emphatically replied, "to be with my mom." Awwwww..... The sweetest thing.

We arrived at our small county hospital at 11:45 AM. They finally took x-rays at 1:30. The NP came in to tell us that it was a compound fracture and in 3 different places. Two of them were in the growth plate. They didn't give her anything for pain until 3:30. Not kidding. J was very calm and patient. At 7 PM we were still waiting for the surgeon. At 7:00 they gave her another pain med and in 15 minutes she was screaming in pain. Her heart hurt, her lungs, stomach, and she was itching all over. I'm about to freak out. They evidently gave her some bene dryl because she calmed down in 15 minutes. At 7:20 I cleared out the floor and had a hissy fit. 7.5 hours of being calm and patient had just ended. 15 minutes later they wheeled her back to the OR with me in tow. I stayed with her the whole time they popped them back in place. 10 minutes later we were back in the room and she was waking up. Another hour of making sure that she was ok and we were out the door to Sonic to feed that poor child. She hadn't had anything since breakfast at 7:30 AM so she was starving! During the hospital visit she confessed that she was jumping without using her hands. I saw her on the way down to the ground so I missed the hands part.

Finally at home after 10 PM. One VERY long day. They had prescribed lor tab for the pain but since I'm extremely allergic I was afraid to give it to her when I couldn't watch for reactions. I gave her ad vil instead and she slept through the night and has been pain free. Still worried that they did a closed reduction on a growth plate but we'll try to deal with that next week. She goes back to the surgeon on Friday to check since it's not in a cast but a splint with a sling.

Eternally grateful that Chrissi was here. Cannot imagine having both of them in the ER for that long.

It's going to be a long few weeks with a high motion kid immobilized. She's frustrated because she can't do much. I concur. G saved the day yesterday and came to ride her around for amusement. Bless him he stayed at the hospital for a long time too.

Counting my blessings that it's the first trip to the ER for broken bones. Our AT called to check on us at the hospital and she said she'd love to see the stats for how many RAD kids had broken bones. Breaking everything around them yes but not themselves. It would have to be interesting.

J's Back in All Her Glory

Oh! How happy I am that J is back. Joyful and fun. Light and happy. After the discovery (on the other blog) she is back in full force.

Chrissi is visiting from Germany and cannot believe the changes in J. She does not even resemble the same child she was a year ago when Chrissi left us to go home. Chrissi didn't believe me until she saw it with her own eyes. It is something to behold.

Sunday J was able to go tubing with the big kids (11 y/o's). We were sitting out on the porch we heard a boat pulling up down at the dock and a girl saying, "stop, we've got to go get J so she can go tubing." Sweetest words this mom has ever heard. J has never been able to go tubing without screaming bloody murder in total fear. This year she aced it and had a great time. Then the other girls asked her to go with them over to G's sister's lakehouse and jump off the top of the boathouse. She had a blast. After coming back to the lakehouse she started swimming without holding her nose and jumping in without holding her nose. Monumental stuff!

Today we cooked Chrissi's famous soljanka soup. We put up a lot before she left last year and I rationed it as long as I could but we still ran out. Our freezer will be freshly stocked now since we cooked 3 stock pots full. One of the pots inadvertently received an extra dose of peppers and it will set you on fire. That's coming from someone that loves REALLY hot things. Oooooo baby! We'll be adding sour cream to that batch. ;-) J had the best time cutting and chopping the ingredients and was a huge help.

After a full morning of cooking, Chrissi took family photos while the soup simmered. My little girl is turning into such a little lady. We were all looking through the pictures together and it made my heart so happy to tell J that now she's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.