Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Idiocy Award



It's official. I am an idiot. I racked my brain, over and over and over. Still couldn't figure out the problem. Therapy today with a big ole slap across my face. J was all over the place and had totally regressed. Fear was imprinted all over her face. Huge, mind boggling fear. October 23 is the anniversary date. Big duh.

I started off all strong last January telling J almost daily that she needed to have fits starting in August and to start planning them because her anniversary date was coming up. Normally she starts in August and continues until about a week after the anniversary date. I have reminded her almost daily until August and the fits didn't come and I quit reminding her. Duh again.

Even when she didn't have a concept of time her body remembered it and they would start and be incessant. The good news is that now they're starting a month ahead instead of 2 months. Yay!

Now I'm prescribing an hourly fit. It needs to be at least 2 minutes. I've marked it on her calendar and we're counting down the days. We'll see....

Her birthday is also is big instigator of trouble. Therefore this year we are celebrating (in a small fashion of course) at least 2 weeks ahead. Going to cut that off at the pass.

In case you're wondering....above we're practicing using the correct facial affect for the emotion. Something most RAD kids have trouble with. J has it down pat but Special K is still learning. J did not want to be left out she so got to practice too. :)

Anybody know where I can pick up my idiocy award?????


SocialWrkr24/7 said...

Ahhh- good ol; Trauma Anniverary!

No Idiocy award for you! You get an Awesome Mom award for figuring it out and helping get J back on track! Awesome moms may not be perfect- but they keep going cause they love their kids!

Ashley said...

I agree with SocialWrkr. Moms make mistakes... and clean when they're stressed, but they keep on truckin'! Just like you do, every day.

Little Wonder said...

We all look back and go: "DUH" once in a while! The victory is in figuring out the problema and moving forward. :D

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Great work there, if the yearly fit is down to one month from 2!
Emotional expressions that match the situation are on our list next. Let us know how it goes!

Torina said...

That first picture made me snort root beer through my nose! LOL

Perspective RAD said...

I think I have your award... Good idea on the birthday. We should try that! I'm amazed at the concept alone.. because I found it to be true -- out memories being stored in our bodies. Lisa -- you always have good ideas that inspire me

Jody said...

Oh you just made me realize some things too. No award for you - except the wonderful mom award and the amazing blogger award for helping me realize why my daughter is having issues! It's one of her anniversaries too...unfortunately..she has several! I am with Torina...the 1st picture made me laught out loud!

BT said...

I have numerous idiocy awards, so you are welcome to one of them.

Don't you just love the anniversaries. Their bodies just KNOW. I attribute it to something on the level of ions.

Our anniversary season starts with one birthday build-up in October, then stretches through Halloween, to Christmas and abandonment in December, the RADish's birthday in early January, and then orphanage entry in late January followed by a series of adoption-related anniversaries in February, March and April, when we appeared on the scene, then disappeared, then uprooted them and dragged them around Ukraine for a couple weeks (what were we thinking?), then finally plunged them into a completely unfamiliar "home". No wonder they were/are traumatized.

I love all your strategies, and am going to copy like crazy as we head into this season.

Bravo to you and J for those facial expressions and for getting the regression down to a 1-month advance rather than 2.

Hannah_Rae said...

Wow. I have to do some research on my boys' anniversaries so I can be prepared. It would be good to know a head of time.



Annie said...

Anastasia's birthday is HORRIBLE...and she's already talking about it, counting up to it...

Best thing she is demanding a BABY for her birthday. Thinking this might almost be a good idea, I amm looking into fostering. But she almost melted down in my office this afternoon when I said it certainly wouldn't happen that quickly.

I am wondering if celebrating ahead of time would make a difference; I bet she'd try and go for two celebrations.

Crayon said...

Anniversary of when she was removed? And what are these hourly "fits"? I'm slow. :)