Tuesday, February 15, 2011

J's Post and Mine

From Mom:
We had a great day in therapy today. We talked about J helping other RAD kids that Kristy sees.  She has a monthly group therapy with other RAD kids and she does really well with helping others.  The other kids love it too because they realize they aren't alone.  While we were talking about it I brought up the idea of doing it through J's blog and that she could talk with other RAD kids to help them figure out ways to help themselves and to turn off their RAD brains.  Then we started brainstorming and came up with a plan that if you (the Mom) could ask your child if they would like to talk to another child with RAD to help them if they are radding out on you (not if they're going to destroy the computer in the process) but if they are stuck.  Then we could set up a time and use Sk ype for the kids to talk to each other to figure out their problems.  We all thought it might be helpful but it would have to be at our (the mom's) discretion.  J could share her toolbox and give them ideas.  Hopefully it would be great for all involved.  We thought we'd give it a try.
So if any of y'all want to try it let me know and we'll see how it goes.  Guess we have nothing to lose.

J tried to get her blog up this afternoon to post this.  It didn't work and neither of us could log in.  The email we were using before isn't working anymore. At least I think it's the email we were using. It said it would send us an email to let us know the login.  So didn't work.  Ack.

From J:

Dear kids,
In case you don't know I have RAD just like you.  I would like to be able to help you if you're stuck in your RAD brain.  I know how it feels to be RAD and to be stuck and stubborn.  You're not alone. It's not a fun thing to have RAD.  Actually it's pretty miserable.  The good news is that I have a lot of tools in my toolbox and I'll be glad to share them with you.  I would like to help you get over this and learn how to feel love and trust.  I'm still learning and it gets better every day.  I used to have no good days, then I started having a few good hours, then good day and then more days.  Now I have more good days than RAD days.  If I can do it you can too!!!!!!!!!   Ask your mom if you can Sk ype with me and maybe we can help each other.  Remember you are not alone!

I also need to let you know that I'm pretty shy and may be nervous the first time we sk ype but I get over it in a few minutes.  Please be patient with me.



Kerrie said...

My S-thing isn't set up yet, and I don't know if Princess would go for it, but it might be worth a shot (she's not so big on admitting this stuff is hard for her).

amerloo said...

LOVE the idea, and may have to take you up on this someday Miss J! :)

The Accidental Mommy said...

Sign us up.

How do we do skype?

Annie said...

I'll have to see if Nastya would like this.... Sounds like a good idea to me. She has come such a long way, she has a little tool-box too.

Marty Walden said...

I'm with Essie. Sign me up but I'll have to figure this skype thing out. Need to anyway with my kid leaving for school next fall. :(

BT said...

I will have to confirm with him, but I predict that P will be all over this. He'd been stuck for about a month and finally seems to have turned the corner about 1.5 weeks ago. During the regression and the transition out of it we have had several in-depth conversations in which he has talked vividly about how "bombarded" his brain often feels by RAD. He describes it as a "battle" with RAD using its numerous weapons (lies, fears, etc.) and him having to recruit his "weapons of love." He says the weapons of love come from his parents doing kind and caring things for him (instead of us getting frustrated,irritated, harsh and angry -- can you see I still have much improvement to do??). I couldn't believe how relentless he described it as being -- particularly because he strikes us as having come so far. I think he must just be crazy exhausted about 75% of the time. So, yes, with all this thinking and processing he's obviously been doing about what it FEELS like to have RAD, I think he would welcome the chance to speak with a fellow RAD kid who would just "get" it (instead of me and M, whom he has to explain it to all the time). I don't think he needs J that much right now to help him out of a rut or stubborn RAD place, but he would just love the chance to meet someone else who can relate so closely to what it feels like in his mind. Tell J that P would be likely to be scared and shy at first too, and he might overcompensate for that by saying something weird-sounding or being too talkative. But he too would get over that initial fear fairly quickly. He is recently 11 years old.

I will ask him and get back to you. We have never skyped but have been meaning to learn.

Anonymous said...

J, you and your mom are both stars! What a lovely offer to make.

Ericka said...

This is an AWESOME idea!!!!!
WOW!This brings me so much hope for our family.
RAD sucks, but I'm hoping we can begin to have some good hours, days, etc.....

BT said...

I spoke with P about his interest in skyping with a fellow healing RAD kid. As expected, his response was enthusiastic (though I also thought he was healthily hesitant about it due to being nervous about the idea -- happy healing sign for a kid who used to latch on to just about everyone except his parents!). Keep us posted on when you take this up and that will prompt us to figure out skype at our end.