Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Shake Your Bootay


Taken on Christmas Night

OK....most of y'all aren't old enough to remember that song but it always runs through my head before we do the Shake, Rub (psychological reversal), Tap, Anger exercises.

I've had recent experiences that have reminded me that I need to remember to do the Wet Dog Shake for trauma.  Since I'm having to do it everyone else may as well have to do it too.  That means J.  So we start our day with Power Sitting (remember it's especially powerful to do while looking at your child) then the Wet Dog Shake, followed by Rubbing to straighten out our personal beliefs and finally the ever helpful Tapping.

After animals get really scared they do the Shake to get rid of the trauma of whatever just scared them.  It completes the trauma cycle and therefore the next time that it happens it is not as severe a memory.  Yes.  It really works.  My child had many traumas occur including boat loads when she was pre-verbal.  During the pre-verbal years she may not be able to remember the event cognitively but her body STILL remembers and STILL needs to process those traumas.  Shaking works wonders for that.

How it works:
We both stand really still with our eyes closed and I'll take her through whatever might have ocurred using a low, calm, soothing voice while acknowledging that it (whatever) was a very scary event.  (As soon as I'm through verbally walking J through her trauma I take a second to remember one of my own either one from childhood or more recent events. Sometimes it's even remembering a particularly bad tantrum that occurred.) Then open our eyes and shake it baby shake it.  We usually start with shaking one leg and foot, do the other leg, then shake them both together (kinda like a Charleston), then the bootay shake (this will be very hard for s*xually abused children so don't be surprised), then the body, then the arms, then the head.  Then you're done and it took all of about 40 seconds.  Big trauma release and it is f.r.e.e.  Start with a relatively easy trauma which means it could be just something that scared them in the last few days.  See how it goes.  Don't forget the "I'm afraid Mom is going to leave and never come back."  This is a huge fear that lasts for years.

Personally I had to do it about getting in the car.  All the recent events made me really scared to get in the car.  Now I can do it and not get that icky feeling every time we have to go somewhere. 

J has had to shake f.o.r.e.v.e.r. (and we're still not done) on social workers.  They totally crossed her boundaries and scared the living crap out of her.  I get it.  When you've been moved 28 times it is over the top scary when they pop back in your life.  We're also doing it on the abuse, the moves, the bugs, the scary people with masks, the car, people that didn't protect her and on and on and on.....

We use the same trauma for about a week before moving to the next trauma we're going to work on.  Most of the time we'll do it 3 or 4 times a day.  Heck, for 40 seconds or less it's a wonderful investment.  The events become less and less scary each time she shakes and she spends less time in the Amygdala (fight or flight, controlling emotions) part of her brain.  This goes for me too.

Here's a video from J to show you how it's done! Y*ut*be Video  Can y'all believe J has grown so much???  I'm astonished.

Our kids have had lots of traumas, give'em a release.  Set them free from it. It doesn't hurt to set yourself free too. :)  You'll be glad you did.  If they're averse to the idea try doing the Hokey Pokey instead. :)

Just FYI....there is no religion or dogma attached to Shaking, Rubbing, or Tapping.  It runs with the Thought Field Therapy principals.

In case you want to read more about it look at Trauma Through A Child's Eyes by Peter Levine & Maggie Kline

I haven't been blogging because my freedom of speech was taken away.  I finally decided to say "screw'em".  So I'm back to commenting (I've been faithfully reading just not commenting and blogging.  Hopefully I won't regret it.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Good Night...Sleep Tight....

but the bed bugs are still biting.....  The house we stayed in had a case of bed bugs.  Guess who brought them home today?  I've treated Puddin, J & I with Pyrethrin.  Our bug guy told me to leave all of our stuff in the car and once the car hits 113 degrees for an hour it will kill all of them and their larvae.  It may take two hours with all of our clothes in luggage.  Feeling a little like Typhoid Mary and that everything I touch has critters on them.  The bug guy also said that if even one bed bug jumps off me in the house it will create millions because they're asexual and don't have to have a partner to procreate.  Lovely.  Hoping they don't have to b omb our house because we'll have to depart for a few days.

I will never, ever again sing the "Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite" song to J.   :(

Anyone with experience with the critters please pass on any info....

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Girl Trip






Early tomorrow morning J, Puddin & I are off to the beach at Cape San Blas, FL until next Wednesday.  I found an inexpensive rental on VRBO and called at the last minute to see if they had a vacancy.  I'm going to take advantage of the return of Real J and we're going to have a total bonding week.  J travels really well now and our trips are usually drama free.  Puddin isn't so crazy about the beach but at least she'll be with us. 

Hoping to get some great sunset shots too.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Ssssshhhhhh....

The wango tango is still not living here at the moment.  Freaky.  Traumaversary is coming up in a few weeks....will it last????  Not holding my breath but I am enjoying every moment.

There weren't even repercussions from the 6 hour DCFS worker visit this week.  Huge!



I did start her back on Abili.fy last Friday.  That's the only thing that's changed.  J's been on it before (2 years and 15 lbs ago) and it didn't change anything.  A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.  She might as well have taken a Tic Tac.  I gave her the same dosage (5mg) that she was on 2 years ago.  The RAD may not have let the Abili.fy work.  The power of the RAD control human spirit?  Maybe now that she's attached she'll actually allow the med to work???  I don't know.....  Kristy was shocked too and we both told her that we were so happy that the "Real J" was back and that we'd missed her.  She loved that!!!

Her sense of humor is back and there is lots of laughter and giggling which makes my heart sing.  I didn't realize how much I missed her laughter until it came back.  She has been really helpful and has a great attitude.  Not only that but she has her Attitude of Gratitude back instead of "oh woe is me" attitude.  The spark is back in her eyes too. 

Because the wango tango has been around for a while she hasn't spent much time with her dad.  Now that her normal brain is back she's going to stay with him all weekend starting around 10:30 tomorrow morning.  This is a huge deal for her dad because he normally only wants to do 1 night.  Kristy has been trying to educate him and he listens to Kristy. :)  I have a feeling he's going to be exhausted Sunday night. ;-)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Maybe I'm Back

We'll see...

The blogs weren't private.  They were completely down due to circumstances beyond my control.  Thanks to all of you that have offered support.  I'm so grateful for all of you.  Honestly y'all have been more supportive than a lot of my IRL friends. 

J has been struggling for the last couple of months and understandably so.  Understanding doesn't make it easier though.  We've been back at RAD 101.  I'm scared to type this but I think she may have turned a corner.  So picture me doing the soundless jumping up and down and mouthing "yay!" 

We've been trying to go out to capture life outside of our chaos.  Trying to find joy and beauty again.  Thank you, Diana, for "making" me. :)




Sunday, July 25, 2010

Stress

Last week when Connie was keeping J while we were at the hospital, she noticed that J was fretting a lot. Connie asked her what was wrong and J said, "I'm afraid Katie is going to hurt my mom."

Insert heavy sigh..... I hate that she has had to worry about such serious things. I just want her to be a kid. She deserves that.... So much....

Friday night was the first night last week that I'd been home when J went to bed. She was tired at 6:00 so I sent her on to bed at 6:30. She slept straight through till 10:30 AM on Saturday!!!!!!!

Puddin didn't get up till 10 AM!!!!

I had to take a nap yesterday and today. If I were able, I think I could sleep for a couple of days.

We've tried to focus on nothing but fun things and making sure to laugh a lot. The Tickle Monster has been "in da house" quite a bit.

I've purposely not mentioned K so that J could have a break.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

She Ran Away


Not really but she did break down in tears and beg to go to Mrs. Gaddy's so that she could get a break from K. Evelyn picked her up Monday and she's having a lot more fun than we're having.

Why Our Kids Steal, Lie, etc.

Finally catching up on Brenda's blog. Keeping me mindful.....
And yes....you need to watch it too. :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Please Support

Advocates for Children of Trauma is a huge resource for families like mine. They are based in Texas but have been extremely helpful for families nationwide. Mine included. Please take a few minutes and vote for them. They have been actively presenting classes for several years from some of the leaders in Attachment. This is strictly a volunteer based organization but need the financial resources to keep helping families. Mike Groomer, founder, has been a huge advocate for our family. Thanks, Mike, for all you do for our families.





Thank you in advance for your vote. I've got great hopes that they will FINALLY have some financial help. If you're feeling really benevolent please post this on your blog on FB page. They can use all the support they can get.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

We Made It
















J and I had a great time at the balloon race this morning. However, it was incredibly difficult to drag my bohunkus out of the bed at 5 AM this morning. I didn't sleep well and when I did there were very vivid dreams to greet me. More pics on FB of this morning and J's fishing trip. I do wish it weren't such a pain to upload pics here.


J loved having the one on one time with me and and I with her.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Terrified







Yesterday J was absolutely terrified about the peep that came out on the way to therapy. I had to turn the rear view mirror up so she wasn't freaking out by watching. Which meant that I was internally freaking out wondering who was going to strike me from behind. I kept turning toward J using peripheral vision to see if K was still in the back seat.



By Friday that hopefully won't be such a worry. See other blog.



I bribed my mom into staying with K while I took J to therapy today. J's session was hijacked by K yesterday and it's been happening a lot. It's important that J still gets her time so by not taking K we guaranteed J therapy time. She worked really hard today and admitted that she was terrified yesterday. Puberty it is coming. Dang.






I was really hoping to take both girls to see the balloons take off in Helen tomorrow as they race to the Atlantic. It's not going to happen for K. Alecia is being so kind as to be here at 6 AM tomorrow and I'm taking J to see it. Wondering how I'm going to drag my hiney out of bed at 5.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

i p h o n e

Totally useless information but starting next Tuesday the dreaded mart of walls will have the 16 gig i ph o ne. I adore my i phon e but I so wish I'd waited just a few months.
Info found on C N N homepage.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Hanging

31 Puddin meals made today. Nothing else was accomplished but whatever. Liver, rice, carrots, sauteed spinach, yogurt then another recipe of chicken, mashed potatoes, English peas, apples and finally chicken, brown rice, green beans, yogurt and apples.

At least I'm making one person in this house happy.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Puddin & J


This precious little baby above has a really sensitive stomach and a very persnickety appetite. She will go many days without eating if it's not something she wants and I have seriously tried every dog food on the market including all the holistic brands. It hasn't worked. She also has a violent, gagging cough several times a day.

After yet another trip to the vet a couple of weeks ago for days of diarrhea I gave up. I have researched and read several books on making homemade dog food. I've lost a dog to stomach cancer something that I attributed directly to her food. After reading the books about the mystery ingredients in commercial dog food it became glaringly obvious that the food was making Puddin sick. The only things that stuck in my mind is that it would be horribly inconvenient and I didn't have the time. Then it dawned on me that I had to "make" the time. #1 Vet bills bad - #2 Can't lose Puddin cause most of the time she's my sanity and the only person in my house that loves me.

Two weeks ago I started making Puddin's food. She's actually happy to eat now and does a little dance as I get her food ready. I'm making a month of food at a time in individual servings and it's not terribly inconvenient at all. Her gagging cough is completely gone and the "end result" of the food is normal. No more diarrhea and vomiting and I "know" what she is eating. My friend, Priscilla, made the statement, "you wouldn't be excited about eating either if it hurt your tummy every time." Well duh Lisa!

J is back to acting neuro-typical and so glad to have her mom back. She had kept insisting that I was just like the Captain in the So u nd of Music so I gave her the Captain for 4 days. She discovered how many privileges she has and how wonderful her life is. I also discovered I'm not cut out to be a drill sargent. :)

Thanks again to everyone for all your support on K's blog. I'm going to try not to neglect this blog as we make our way through K's journey. Also going to try to keep J's life as normal as possible too.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Randomness


Ahem...someone has been trying to triangulate G & I. She's been busted and is so not happy about it. It's not working out well for her. Bummer. I dream of a day that both my kids can both be regulated at the same time.
On the bright side she is still mowing the grass every 3 days and still loves it. I never ask her or tell her to do it....she just takes it upon herself. Maybe it is a sensory thing.


Discovered that if you cook a potato in your beans that it will remove the gas. (Discard the potato when beans are done.) Little tip for all of you who do not enjoy the after-dinner entertainment.


Last fall while at the doctor's office, regarding my blood pressure, the doctor walked by and gave the nurse instructions to write down a website for a patient who had a nail fungus. My ears perked up and I asked her to give me the skinny. She said that my doctor hated giving a prescription for lam*asil because it has so many side effects and damaging properties so he had started making patients try this herbal remedy first. She also said that it had cured it on every one of his patients. And it is c.h.e.a.p. I've had one on several toenails for a looooong time but was too embarrassed to ask for help so I asked for the web address of Long Creek Herbs. Lo and behold it worked like a charm. No more fungus. I had to do it twice (which is recommended for long-term fungus) but now my toenails are beautiful once again and my liver hasn't been damaged. Yay me. Just in case any of you has been cursed with a fungus I'll share the link and you can click here. $13.00 is also much better than $100.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Wow!


My super cool kid mowed the grass for the first time today. She's been begging to mow it for 3 weeks. I didn't let her do it cause I thought she'd start and not be able to finish cause in case you didn't notice the pic above, there is no motor on my mower so it's not easy.
I thought she wouldn't make it through one lap. She did the front yard AND the back yard. AND she did an amazing job! My kid impresses me more and more each day! It may never happen again but it did today and she was begging Papa & Monya to let her mow their grass too. :)
Don't anybody worry....it won't cut moving backwards so no toes will be missing. :)

Monday, May 3, 2010










We had a fabulous time at the beach. It was so good to get away from home. However, I'm starting to get the itch to go on an adult vacation. Feeling kind of guilty about that too.

J did really great and ate her weight in crab legs. Seriously that child can put those things away like nobody's business. Unfortunately for my wallet we discovered a place that has the best crab legs ever and we had to go there twice.

The trip was relaxing and very low key. I needed that. Most of you have seen the majority of our pics on FB but I wanted to include a few here for those of you who don't check in there.
Just so y'all know...I am reading and keeping up. Just slacking in the comments department. Really slacking. I'm going to try to get started back in a routine tomorrow.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I'm In Love

with a new lens. :)












Wednesday, April 21, 2010