Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Frustrations

It frustrates me to no end that my state doesn't care for single parents. Now they are cutting more staff and it looks like a placement in GA will never happen.

I have inquired on several kids in different states, emailed my homestudy and I have always gotten a call back except in GA and MN (big surprise Torina?). I've had a couple of calls from SW's that have found me on adoptuskids.org. Navigating this process is very difficult and frustrating.

I know that J needs the child to be younger than her so I'm focusing on 4-8 age group. She has voiced her opinion and I have taken that into consideration. I would rather stick with this age group myself too as I think it would be a much better fit overall. I also want to be able to homeschool my next child alongside J. I think it will be a huge step in facilitating the bonding process, focus on being a family and meeting their needs and now that I am taking this next year off the timing couldn't be better. I had over 200 hours of training on Attachment, RAD, AD, ODD, OCD, PTSD, ADHD, grief and loss, etc. before J moved home. Now I have well over 700 hours into training. Not to mention that I think I am good at this and so does my caseworker and our AT.

Through a friend's contact I sent my study to a county close to mine regarding a 5 y/o little girl. The worker told me I was a perfect fit and wished she could move her today. Except she can't. It's going to be a long time because A was adopted by her grandmother in FL then disrupted 6 months later so she's now involved somehow with her birth parents again and they are having to get another TPR which is going to take a long time. Grrrr....

Even more frustrating is the fact that every day is ticking by and getting closer to the end of my homestudy date. 3 1/2 months will go by in a blink and I'm running out of time. I know this is what I am supposed to do but I am NOT going through more paperwork to update the study. (Famous last words.) Then I feel guilty about that too.

14 comments:

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I don't know if this helps you or not. I worked for CPS in Phoenix (100 years ago) and we had an entire unit dedicated to adoptions. They were sort of the 'elite' caseworkers, and positions were hard to come by on their team (low turnover). I could not tell you anything about them now. I don't know where you are looking or anything else, but maybe going to the states .gov website and into dept of economic security then call CPS and ask for the adoptions supervisor, approach it from the other side.
I think it is a great idea for you to adopt another child, and I fully agree you are GREAT at this!

Maury said...

Yes, you are great at this...and there is another child out there that needs you. You may want to mentally prepare yourself to do your homestudy again....you know how slow this can all be, 3 1/2 months in the system is about like 2 weeks our time. haha It will all be worth it in the long run...but crossing my fingers this will all work out for you in your timeframe!

Jo said...

I hear your frustrations. First they beg you, everyone, "give a child a home!" but when you offer, suddenly everything grinds to a halt. HUGS!

Christa said...

Yes you are really good at what you're doing and another child deserves to benefit from your experience. I'm sorry the process has to be so ridiculous.

Kristina P. said...

700 hours of training? That's amazing! They should be chomping at the bit to have a placement for you since you're not looking for a baby.

Hannah_Rae said...

Hey Darlin',

I want to thank you so much for being such a big support, and a true hero for kiddos.

If you read my blog, you will see why I will be e-mailing you soon in need of advice.

Say Hi to J too. :)

Hannah

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Hmm, sometimes things are meant to be.
I got a new ''follower'' today (happy me yay!) and I popped over to read her blog and what did I read? She lives in Phoenix and is adopting and happened to mention the name of her agency that she thinks is great. Seriously.
Then, I saw your comments and came back over to your blog and lookie there on your follower list there she is- Tricia is what comes up when I mouse over her 'sticker'. It is the sepia-toned one.
Amazing how stuff happens some times hey!

Torina said...

No surprises. MN sucks at foster care adoption. Sorry MN, but you do. I am hopeful for that Phoenix agency. Ahhh, wouldn't it be nice to fly to Phoenix right about now? I hope something happens soon for you...our homestudy is up pretty soon, too. I DON'T want to renew it either. But we will probably have to just to finalize on the boys. Sigh.

Kelly said...

The foster care system is so screwed up. There couldn't be a better home for a child that could benefit from your training. It angers me to think that SW aren't fighting over who will get to place a child with you. GRRR!

motherissues said...

Ah, Lisa, I'm sorry you're going through this. You're so clearly qualified and it sucks that the kids who need you aren't going to be able to find you easily. Grr!!

Holly said...

You are so good at what you do. I hope there is a way this can all work out for you. Have you explored any private agencies with waiting children? I know of a few disrupted international adoptions where the kids are now US citizens and in the country, but being handled by the original agency.

Tracey said...

I know how frustrating it is but you are meant for this and it will happen. I agree with Jo: they act like they need homes so badly for these kids but when you try to give them one you're put through this. It will happen though. Hang in there. Yep, updating the homestudy sucks but it will be worth it. And maybe you won't have to. You still have a few months.

Hugs!!

Anne said...

Yeah, it's crazy isn't it? They constantly say how many children need good homes, then they make it almost impossible for these kids to get into a good home when it comes along!

Meg an Aggie in Frisco said...

Have you tried the G..... Center in Ft. Worth? They have a division decated to Foster Adoption. I was adopted from there as a baby and so was my brother.

We are in the beg. process of adoption, but are on hold.

My blog has more info on the agency. Good Luck... the San Antio region has thier stuff together.. Dallas region.. not so much... Good luck!