Wednesday, February 25, 2009

No News

A very big thank you to every one out there. Keep'em coming please.

Still hanging on by a thread here. No news. Dang it. No responses from my worker. Phone or email. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Trying to show some patience here but patience has never been my long suit. Those of you who know me can stop snickering now.

G and I had a conversation tonight about J's progress. We both agreed that J has truly reached new levels since I've been a SAHM. Emotionally and academically. I'm so grateful that I was forced to do this. I came into this adventure kicking, screaming and hanging onto the shreds of carpet by the tips of my perfectly manicured nails as I was dragged into this endeavor. Actually I spent several weeks grieving my loss of being a professional career woman. Then after I put on my big girl panties and "got over it" things just started changing. Kudos must be given to G for recognizing the changes and being willing to help facilitate the process. This is big stuff for him. I can't do this forever but for right now, just this moment, we are ok.

Which means that right now, during this next year, is the perfect time for K to come home. Yes, I am an adrenaline junkie, but also, I know that I am very good at being a mother to a kid with RAD. I don't have many talents. I'm not a talented writer as all of you can attest. Nor am I a crafty person or a knitter, seamstress, painter, designer, singer, dancer, actor, creative, funny or even clever. Truthfully, I am so jealous of people with talents. But I do have one talent. I am great at this RAD mom thing.

No. I've never met K. I haven't even been able to read her whole file. However, I am willing to fully commit to her attachment and walk with her. Coaching her along, helping her heal, therapy, PT, sensory integration therapies, home school, guided imagery, neurofeedback and whatever else is necessary. Whatever she needs to help her recover from a lifetime of abuse, neglect and bouncing around foster care. I am willing to be her mom forever. Moving heaven and earth daily. I'm ready to have my house destroyed, be pushed away, cursed, hit, pinched, screamed at and spit and peed - pooped on. Again. Maybe crazy is one of my talents. ;-0

I've never met her but I'm fighting for her.

K is my daughter too and she is waiting on me.


Kristina P. said...

I so hope it works out Lisa! She needs a great mom like you!

Tudu said...

I think you are many of the other things you so quickly dismissed. I agree on your Mom talent, though. You are the best!

Dinah said...

You are great at being a RAD mom!!! I love you for all you've taught me, so I think you're a great teacher too! Hope things move along for you. My heart ached for Little B once I knew he was out there so I know what you're sayin'.

Torina said...

Waiting sucks. On both ends. Do you know where she is at? If anything, you could spend some time researching the facility' "philosophies" while you wait so you can talk their game. I am just making stuff up.

Muppet Soul said...

Waiting does suck.

Still throwing good vibes in your direction!

Keep fighting the good fight.

Dia por Dia said...

I just found your blog yesterday and want to thank you profoundly for sharing your work, your story and your passion for your daughter. I too have an 8 year old daughter with RAD and have recently given up my professional status as a college professor to be at home with her and my other adopted kids (one of whom has ODD, among other things.) I am excited to read more of your journey but from what I have read so far I think that other little girl out there would be so lucky to have you. I firmly believe that if it is meant to be it will be so I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Alyssa's Mom said...

Yup, I agree! Crazy is definitely one of your talents!!!

Personally, I think a little bit of crazy should be a prerequisite to adoption! Being able to think outside the box is a plus!

In all seriousness, I truly admire your devotion to J and your desire to jump back in the trenches. You are a much better Mom than I am because I really don't think I could start from square 1 again.

You are all in my prayers!

J. said...

Hang in there, hopefully it will all work out.I agree with Alyssa's mom, outside the box is essential.
Speaking of which we took you BRILLANT idea of using Gi at bedtime and the hubby made up some just for the boys, they are loving them, he mixed them with EMDR beats as well and put some music on the end - sleeping boys! Thanks for the great idea.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

YOU GO with your bad self! I am sending pushy thoughts your way (down and to the right is it?) to get things moving. It is so hard to wait when you have momentum going!
You are way ahead of me when it comes to having given up the career. I still hold little pity parties for myself on that one. Kicking and screaming is right! It is what it is and it is how things are right now. Anyway, I would cross my fingers but then I couldn't type lol. So, pushy thoughts!

Corrine said...

Your great!!!
This child would be very lucky.
Your in our thoughts! And as always, thank you for YOUR constant support!

Paula Perry said...

Prayers are still coming. I really pray that you can be with your daughter soon. I however disagree with you, you are a good writer and you are funny, and no doubt you are clever. Credit where credit is due. :)

Linda B. said...

This little girl is going to be so lucky to have you for her mom. May I ask what you did in your other life working outside of the home? You are awesome at the mommy thing!

Jo said...

Oh I hate the waiting! I think you probably short change your own talents, but I totally agree that being a mom to RAD kids is definitely something you do well!

Maury said...

I just think it is awesome how much you have learned, and are ready to share with another child to help her heal! I think every new foster/adoptive parent needs to take you home with them. I have only been a foster mom since August, but after having a 4 yr old girl with what I am pretty sure was RAD, I have been so aware of how naive we are going into this whole thing, and how unprepared parents are to dealing with this. When are you goint to write a book and have a workshop?? You have a lot to teach people!