The professional attachment community has a long history of pointing fingers and saying this professional has it right and everyone else is wrong. Then they switch it up and it's that professional has it all wrong and this other one has it all right. Personally I'm sick to death of the arguing. Parents of RAD kids need help and they needs lots of it. One thing is NOT going to fix my kid. Oh wouldn't it be oh so nice if one thing would work? However, that's living in fantasy land. Again this is strictly my opinion. Please don't send me hate mail for my opinion because I'm just trying to do the best I can for my child. I respect your opinion too and will honor it.
It seems that every one has an opinion on who has the right way to help kids with RAD. I have an opinion too. My conclusion is that there's not one person that has it all right. It takes all of it. A huge education is needed to help these precious kids become securely attached. Take what works and leave the rest. For J, I had to change it up on a minute by minute basis. Approaches by Katharine Leslie, Nancy Thomas, BCI, Dan Hughes, Love and Logic, Deborah Hage, Dianne Craft, Martha Welch, Greg Keck, Terry Levy, Michael Orlans, Brita St. Clair, Ken Magid, Deborah Gray, Karyn Purvis, Cathy Helding were used when they were appropriate. No matter which one is used it has to be done in a loving manner and with the right attitude. I have to remind myself daily that any intervention can be considered coercive or punitive if not used appropriately and in the manner intended. Facial expressions and tone of voice included. All our little ones are different and will respond differently to each approach. Again, take what works. A pinch of this and a dash of that....
I don't have all the answers. I never will. But I will keep reading and researching to make a difference. I need a big bag of tricks daily. This journey has forced me to think outside the box and I have been really rewarded for being able to do so. It also takes an open mind and thankfully today I have one. This was not always the case as those of you who know me IRL are aware.
I could go on ad nauseum but my friend, Christine, sums it up best right here. She totally nailed it! Plus she had a fabulous interview with her radilicious kid that I am totally going to steal.