One thing that Kristy has mentioned on many occasions is that our kids need to be attached to time. It took me a long time to figure out what she was talking about but eventually I got it. Our kids probably aren't going to have a strong attachment until they have an attachment to time. They tend to be real floaty, falling down over nothing, running into walls, not remembering when something happened....if it was yesterday, 5 minutes ago or 5 years ago.
Working on proprioceptive exercises is important to help the floaty, walking into walls stuff. Building core muscles is really important because our kids really didn't get that in infancy. They weren't bounced enough and held enough to develop the core muscles. I've written more about that here. Hooping helps, as does a bilibo. Thanks Dia for turning me on to this. Standing on a balance board. Using a paddle board is really great if you can find one to rent and use in a lake.
For time attachment we go over the day's events with today's date, the order that each event that happened during the day.
I woke up,
made my bed,
brushed my teeth,
brushed my hair,
did the dishes
went to school,
worked on math,
all the way till bedtime
There was a time when this was a really frustrating exercise but in time it started getting better. Then we added the events from the day before with the date and using "yesterday". Enter more frustration. Then it got better. Then we added the day before that. That one took a good bit of time.....and a good bit of frustration. But we made it.
Now she can correctly state when things happened in this month, last month, last year, etc. This is also really helpful for J to remember who caused the abuse in her life and that it was not me. She doesn't confuse the times of the abuse now. Huge!
That alone makes this exercise totally worth the initial frustration.