Monday, May 7, 2012
Communicating Sparkly Bits
Parenting any kid, but especially a kid from trauma, our postural communication is so important. Absolutely, your facial expressions and regulated voice is so important but 80 to 93% of all our communications are postural. Changing postural habits is just important as changing our verbal communication.
Before J came home I listened to Deborah Hage's CD, Parenting With Pizzazz. Actually since that time I've probably listened to it over 30 times in the last 6.5 years. It's a gem of a CD. Unfortunately it's not available anymore or at least not anywhere that I can find it. She also has a book, Therapeutic Parenting - It's a Matter of Attitude.
Deborah is a mother that parents trauma and also a therapist. Her delivery is rich, funny and engaging. The most memorable line in the CD is, "You can't bond with a bitch." Some of the wisest words that I've heard. I have to remind myself daily.
I have to remind myself of this over and over and over. Sometimes on a minute by minute basis. I also have to remind my face that I'm happy. After living in stress mode for several years I think I've developed a permanent frown. It's not from being unhappy - it's from waiting on the other shoe to drop. We start living in stress and we're always preparing ourselves for the next therapeutic parenting move we've got to make or be ready to head off the next tantrum, etc. It's easy for our faces to become stuck.
Enter my brilliant friend, Mary, who turned me on to Amanda Gore last week. Oh my goodness this is good stuff! That she is so comical just makes it even better. I had never heard of her but as a mom parenting a kid in hard places, this video is priceless. Every time I watch it I hear Deborah Hage in my head too.
So watch, enjoy and turn on your sparkly bits. It will make this therapeutic parenting stuff much easier.
Here's another one on how to show someone you love them. Again, priceless.... Watch then go "zoot zoot on your kid.
One more and I'll shut up. I'm going to be watching for Ta Da's in J's life. Starting tomorrow I will be parenting with pizzazz and enthusiastic about the little things.
The World Tapping Summit (free) starts tonight. Click here for the link.