Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Despair

All of you know that the complete seminar is available on an audio cast on my blog here.  You can listen or even download to your i p*d.   Several of you have emailed me about video taping the tapping sequence.  So I did.  *gasp*  I transcribed the audio and did the video below.  If you're feeling despair and you have no idea how to keep keeping on.  Watch and tap with me.



Here is the script:


Even though I feel this despair. I choose to love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I feel this despair  I choose to love and honor myself anyway.
Even though I feel this despair because this is so hard 
I had the best of intentions but I’m not sure I knew it would be this hard and I’m not sure I can handle it .
In fact there are times when I’m sure I can’t handle it.
Even though I feel all this despair I choose to deeply and completely love, honor and accept myself and my kids and anyone else who might be involved in this.
All this despair
All these feelings of despair.
All these heavy feelings of despair
I’m not sure I can make it
I’m not sure I can do this
This is so hard
This is so challenging
And I’m not sure I can do it
And at times I’m sure I can’t do it.
I can’t hold on much longer.
I want to help
But I just can’t do this.
Oh me of little faith.
All this self doubt
It’s challenging
It’s hard to have faith in myself
and part of me doesn’t want to
Because if I have faith in myself I have to do this
And part of me wants a way out.
I want to be able to say I’m sorry I just can’t do this anymore
And no one can blame me
it’s a lot to ask to someone
and if I can’t keep going on I need to do what I need to do 
but I choose to give myself permission to clear the self doubt
that puts me into despair
and to clear all this stuff that puts me in to despair
all this despair
this fear that it will never get better
this fear that it will never end
clearing all that stuff that puts me into despair
this fear that it’s never going to get better.
this fear that its going to be forever
even though I know it will end because my kid is going to move out eventually
one way or another
they may not grow out of their issues but at some point they’re going to move out
in some way shape or form
this is not a permanent issue 
and maybe i do have what it takes to stick with it for longer
I choose to have more faith in myself
I’m also open to the possibilities that are there ways to make it less difficult
I’m giving myself a new tool right now
I’m giving myself something to help me cope
and cope in healthy way
this is a much healthier way to deal with stress
than maybe some of the things I’ve done in the past
and with this tool
I can let go of some of this despair
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel
in fact I can allow myself to see some light right here and now
and in fact I’m lightening up right now
I choose to lighten up
clearing the despair
clearing it at a cellular level
clearing it all the way back through my past 
back through the time I’ve been with this child 
and back through my own childhood
releasing it completely.
or as much as I can allow myself right now
I deserve to be free
I deserve to let go of the despair
I don’t need it anymore
it’s not helping me
its safe to let it go
its safe to let myself feel better
and as I let the despair go
I find myself having more patience
when I feel hopeless and I feel like I’m serving a life sentence it’s no wonder I get impatient
there’s no way I can feel patient when I feel like it’s going to be this way forever
Clearing these fears
and as I clear these fears I have greater access to patience and that feels good
that’s a gift I’m giving myself.
its a gift I’m giving my kids but it’s also a gift I’m giving myself
it’s a win-win situation
and we deserve that
continuing to let go of stress
releasing it from every fiber of my being
releasing these fears
releasing these doubts
I’m allowing myself to relax 
as an act of love to myself
which I really deserve
in body mind and spirit
Deep breath and slowly let it out.

3 comments:

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Ok, this might sound weird but I think your script should be a song, or a poem even. Thank you for sharing so much.

stellarparenting.com said...

I keep listening just to hear you, thank you for posting it, I am going to save it for those really fabulous moments when I all I feel is immense love for my children....

Diana said...

Love this...love you! Thank you for having the courage to do it! Maybe, just maybe someday we'll get to meet in person on this side of heaven. I hope so!