Sunday, January 23, 2011

Never Enough

Because I can never, ever watch this video enough.....Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

If you've never read anything about adoption or foster care or if you've read everything under the still need to watch this video. Then watch it again.

It always keeps me mindful of what my daughter has been through. I have to watch it over, over and over.

I owe her that.

Multiple Transitions - A Child's Point of View About Adoption and Foster Care

When I ask myself "why" I watch the video. When I wonder why we're not past certain things....I watch the video. Our first AT's made me watch the video (with them in the room). They wanted me to find compassion for my child because I was STRUGGLING.  Why weren't we farther along?  Why was everything so very hard?  Why couldn't she be better already?  Why were there so.many.negative behaviors?  How much more could I stand?

I didn't get it that day but I thought about the video and I watched it several times over the next several days.  It finally started sinking in.  I finally got it and I was able to have compassion and empathy.  Finally.
I am such a slow learner sometimes.  Now that I've got it I can't ever forget.


Sarah said...

I agree. So very much. I have linked this on my blog twice, and my facebook more than that. I *hate hate hate* to watch it. I always cry. I make myself watch it anyway- because I do forget. And I agree- we cannot be reminded often enough.

Hannah_Rae said...

The empathy connected to the behaviors is hard for me. I have empathy for HIM, but not for the behaviors. Like dear old Christine keeps telling me "But you still expect the behaviors to stop..." YEAH! I DO! I HATE THEM! So...working on that.

Compassion for feelings = easy

Compassion for behaviors based on feelings = very hard.



Kate said...

Hi Lisa. I'm a fairly new reader to the blog. I'm Kate, from New York. While catching up on this blog and the other one (Special K), I noticed a few months ago that blog became private again as I was catching up. Is it completely closed or are you able to send me an invite? Thanks!

By the way, that video makes me cry every time.

Kelly said...

Oh Lisa. I can actually hear Jackson and Delaney's voices ringing when I read these things. Thank you for sharing. Makes me feel terrible for ever complaining about their behaviors.

I have been talking to Jackson about strong sitting, tapping and rubbing. I am going to watch the videos and teach myself real good and then I am going to let him watch them.

I told him tonight that there are other kids that were adopted that have a hard time with anger about the things that happened to them too. He was so surprised. I think it is good for him to know he is not alone.

I am going to show him J's videos so he can relate to another child. He is excited to try this. Me too.

roztime said...

I've watched this three times now - once as a new child welfare worker (it was part of our training, we all watched it together), once in a foster parent training session, and then again just now. Very powerful, and a reminder of why I do what I do (and how I can improve).

It is difficult, though: it brings back memories of the kids I had to move to a different foster home; those I had to apprehend; the judges that seemed to just. not. get it.; and the amount of tears I was witness to when kids told me their stories. Being a worker was hard, but being a 'good' worker (as in the video) felt damn near impossible.