Monday Funnies

These were posted on a forum for RAD a few years ago.  We were in the throes of full blown RAD at the time and we all needed to find something funny to laugh about. When you're a RAD mom you start getting a sick sense of humor. You laugh to keep from crying.
Enjoy and I'm betting you can add some to the mix. :)
You know you're a RAD Mom when...



you suspect that the cat is limping because your child hurt his paw.



you panic when someone says your daughter is in the other room with a

baby.



you're cleaning up poop that you've found under the bed (and it's not

a pet's poop!)



you hear a child cry in the same room as your child, and you wonder

what your child did to that child.



your child goes up to strangers to ask them to buy her something

because Mom won't buy it for her. (Mom knows that she really doesn't

even want it and will destroy it anyway.)



you get upset when people give her things that you know she will just

destroy in a few minutes.



your child says she's hungry five minutes after she's eaten and makes

others believe that you're refusing to feed her.



you suspect your child of stealing whenever you can't find something

(and you're almost always right).



you don't believe the first answer your child gives you. You'll get

quite a few answers and may never get the truth from your child.



you cringe when someone (who does not know your child well) says that

you have a such a sweet child.



And you tuck your child into bed, turn on the alarm to their room and turn in yourself, locking your bedroom door behind you..............



You know you're a RAD mom when you take one child to be tested for STD after

molestation by another one and find yourself thinking, there one more task

off my to do list.....



you know you're a RAD mom when the threat of a snow day sets you into

panic..........



you know you're a RAD mom when you know all the locks, alarms and security

devices and where to find them in your area



You know you're a RAD mom when you have 4 different phone numbers to get in

touch with the therapist and have the police on speed dial!



you know you're a RAD mom when you automatically check under your child's window in search or urine or feces



you know you're a RAD mom when you've contacted the fire dept to find out what locks you can LEGALLY put on your child's windows



you know you're a RAD mom when you purposely cut down a tree because it's too close to your child's windows



you know you're a RAD mom you your child's timeline is 4x as long as yours - and you're 3x older!



You know you're a RAD mom when you know all the psychiatrists in your city

and a 30 mile radius and which ones take medicaid........



You know the names of most psychotropic drugs



You know you're a RAD mom when your money is being spent on replacing things

your child has broken, medications, shelters, attorneys, RTC's



You know you're a RAD mom when you dread holidays and birthdays........



You know you're a RAD mom when:

*Every adult at your child's school knows him by his name and hug.


When you look at your bookcase and it's filled with books on attachment,

trauma, adoption along with other books on various learning disabilities and

a copy of Wright's Law and you have yet another book on trauma waiting in

the wings to be read!



When your friends ask you what you've been reading and you rattle off the

name of some research article and you're actually excited talking about it!


You find a pile of caramels vomited under her bed and don't even gag.



Your kid can projectile vomit on you from 6 feet away.



Your 5 y/o can take an entire door frame off in 10 minutes or less with her bare hands. 100+ nails



Your 7 y/o will stand looking at you and pee right on the carpet instead of walking 5 ft to use the bathroom.



Your 5 y/o kid looks like their head is going to spin around on their shoulders at any moment and you can calmly say, "it looks like you're having a big feeling, honey, would you like for me to help you with that".

Feel free to add your own. :D

Love the added funnies in the comments. Hilarious!