Monday, August 11, 2008

Snarky mood

Some of my snarky mood might be coming from J having 2 really hard days in a row. Now granted I am very grateful that she hasn't had any bad days with me in quite some time. It's actually been so long that I would have to look it up on the blog to find out. That is quite a feat. However, when it happens it's like PTSD and I look like a possum in the headlights.

If I wasn't before I am positive that meds are necessary now. Yesterday I forgot to give J her meds. Damn. Not a very good day to say the least. Have seen worse though. Bossing, lying to G, hateful, bad attitude, etc. Last night I had her practice growling in front of the mirror for an hour. In actuality it was only probably 20 minutes but because of attitude it ended up being an hour. She started poking the back of her mouth to make it bleed (she hasn't self-mutilated in almost 2 years) and then screamed for me to come in there and that she had to stop.

This morning she "forgot" something to thank me for 3 minutes after I told her. ODD J refused to say it of course. To her room to throw a fit and then she came back and made it right. Since she didn't have her meds yesterday or last night I gave her the whole .50 mg this morning to see if it would help in the classroom (I was doing this awhile back per p-doc instructions but lately I've been giving her the .25 in AM & .25 in PM). NOT! Jessi says it's been a horrible day. One of the worst she's seen. ODD J refuses to do absolutely anything. None of the rubbing, tapping, breathing or the new things the AT has given her. I got on the phone with her and she was off the charts. I haven't had this in like forever. Extremely disrespectful, ODD, just absolutely blech! Screaming at me that she is hungry, etc. I finally told her to go to the respite room and be sure and throw a fit in there and to hit the walls and door then she could rest and that we'd talk when I get home. She went and is sound asleep now.

I am going for a Reiki treatment this afternoon at 3 before I get home at 4. God bless Chris! Maybe then I'll have something to give back. Smudging, Reiki, salt/soda bath, and lots of hugs & kisses coming up tonight.


Alyssa's Mom said...


J is probably starting to attach to you and got scared! So, she's testing you to see if you will stick it out. Remember a couple of months ago? We went through the same thing with Alyssa. Be consistent and the AWESOME Mom you are! You will come out the other side just fine!

Brenda said...

I agree with Alyssa's mom. You spoke about a conversation at the dinner table where feelings were open and honest. We can almost always expect and explosion after that. (((((hugs)))) It is so hard for mom and so scary for them.

Maia said...

Hang in there! You know when things go well RADishes have tough times ...

marythemom said...

Must be something in the air. My H had a mini-meltdown in the grocery store a couple of days ago that continued after she got home. The good news is she didn't get too far into the "fight, flight, freeze" response, the bad news is that even though she showed restraint and "only" called me stupid and an idiot instead of the worse names she knows, she still had to be restrained for the first time in many months.

For us, I think it could be related to all the family that's been visiting for the last 3 weeks, we've eaten out a lot and changed routines, or it could actually be hormones - which is how I explained the sullen 13 year old riding in the shopping cart to anyone who actually commented (pharmacist, cashier).

I wouldn't be surprised if J wasn't actually picking up your and Christy's energy.

Hugs and prayers,
Texas Mary