Thursday, May 1, 2008

Random thoughts...edited

I am so grateful that my hearing has improved over the years. In my previous life I was "stuck". I could read something but couldn't internalize the meaning. People could give me advice or suggestions but since I knew EVERYTHING there was no reason to try to incorporate their suggestions into my life or believe that there were people that might be more educated than I. A recent encounter with another mother (p.s. it's not any of you) that can't "hear" and is stuck in the crap gave me pause to reflect on the things I have overcome. She is trying to divine why on her own. Oh yeah, and whine a lot, be a martyr, etc.... Yup....this was me.... Today I am a perpetual student, willing to listen and learn. I have an open mind today and for that I am grateful.... ignorant is "you don't know"....stupid is "you can't learn". I qualified as stupid 9 years ago.

Last night I dreamed of Brad Pitt. What is up with that????? He was going to loan me his motorcycle....???? My days of being a biker bitch are long gone. Yes, I miss it sometimes but I don't miss riding without sobriety. I have no idea where that dream came from.... It did remind me of a hysterically funny post by my friend, Lauri I guess there are worse things to dream about....

Today's meditation from the Simply Abundant Life book really spoke to my heart. Going to process that all day. Still trying to fill up all the "holes" in my heart that need to be re-programmed with all things good. It will make me a much better mother, friend, daughter, etc. I had forgotten how much I loved music. I've been dealing with so much overwhelming stuff with J that I put it on the backburner. Now I'm on a mission to incorporate all the things I love back into my life. Finding that it's bringing a new dimension of Lisa into focus. J can tell the difference too. Amazing! P.S. You can't give away what you don't have. Duh again!

Doing things to remember that I am indeed a woman and that I can be sexy, funny, mysterious, outrageous, compassionate, kind, nurturing, whimsical, loving, etc. Sharing with a friend to nourish the garden of his soul I recognized I needed change in this arena. So I am creating the environment to nourish and cultivate all these parts of me. Lo and behold...I am my own secret garden! Who knew???!!! In the process others are getting better too. I'm trying to be a beacon of love, light and peace to all those I love. I can do this but only if I have it to give....

Music du jour: Timbaland's "Apologize", Gavin DeGraw's "I don't Want to Be", John Mayer's "Say", Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love", Rolling Stones "Wild Horses", Lenny Kravitz's "American Woman", Mary Chapin-Carpenter's "Passionate Kisses".

P.S. I have to learn to only sing along with the MP3 player only when alone in the car. Otherwise the neighborhood dogs start howling! ;-)

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Massage (thanks Teena!)
2. Awakening my sense of smell.
3. The HUGE, wild flame azalea outside my office window. (It's the biggest I've ever seen!)
4. A healing daughter
5. Anticipation (cue Carly Simon here)

J's Gratitude:
1. Sushi

3 comments:

Lauri said...

I have a massage gift certificate that I keep remembering every time you mention a massage.. I must schedule myself that hour long treat soon


Hugs

Alyssa's Mom said...

Lisa,

I too have been very reflective lately. So, this being the national day of prayer, I thanked God for a lot of things and a lot of people. You are one of them!

You are a WONDER WOMAN, SUPER MOM, & FABULOUS FRIEND, all rolled into one! Thanks for all your support!

Gerri

Accidental Mommy said...

I love this post!