Monday, July 7, 2008


Back to the real world. Friday J did wonderfully. We had a great time swimming and she was tuckered out by 6:30 and asked to go to bed early. When we got up Saturday it was raining so I thought (bad thought bad) watching a Barbie movie cuddled up on the couch would be a good idea. Now I know I've been told over and over that TV is bad for RAD but we will watch an occasional Barbie movie and it's proven to me over and over again that it's not good because it always seems to suck her brain right out of her head. Well it did it again. It was downhill from there. A bunch of bad decisions meant that she had a time in with me on the dock before she could go swimming. After time-in she swam for several hours before G arrived. G took her on a boat ride to his sister's house and there were lots of people there which meant "scary" for her. Of course that didn't help. Several more bad decisions.

At dinner it was obvious that she was pooped so she went on to bed at 6:30 with the promise that I would wake her up for the fireworks. She did really great at the fireworks except for being disrespectful to G about blowing the horn. (She thought she should be in charge of blowing the horn.)

Sunday AM more of the same and she came very close to throwing a full blown meltdown in front of G & Craig which amazed even me. I had her do some running up and down the steps and things improved slightly and I let her go on a boat ride with all of us instead of us sitting the boat ride out. Hindsight being 20/20 we should've stayed at home because it was worse. The naked eye would not pick up on her behavior but being eagle-eye mom it was glaring me in the face. Kira came over for a playdate and J was rude and disrespectful to her as well. Ignoring, bossy, controlling, hateful at times and not willing to share any of her water toys that she has an abundance of. 4:30 rolled around and it was time to head home to get ready for the school day. She went home with Chrissi so that I could go to dinner with G, Craig & Murray. She threw one more screamer about that even though she knew ahead of time.

This morning she was soooooo slow that she didn't make it to eat breakfast until 7:45 instead of 6:55. Very disrespectful, couldn't remember how to strong sit, ODD, couldn't remember her metta prayer. I've done rubbing & tapping with her, blowing up her yucky pillow, etc....nothing is seeming to work. At school she was very much the same. After school major meltdowns so far, ODD, etc. Cannot put my finger on the problem for the life of me.

P.S. The gas is horrible around our house. I mean seriously like bad. G got sick at the smell. You could smell it two rooms away from her bedroom. What is up with that??????!!!!! It's always been really bad (ever since she's been here) and I've taken her to the doctor and he poo poos me away as being silly. Last weekend and this weekend it's been off the charts. Her pooh looks fine and everything seems to be in working order but it's constantly a problem. Any ideas????


Tudu said...

I have been told that there is a "smell" that kids with RAD have. Not sure how to help except invest in a citrus spray.

marythemom said...

My RAD son often smelled like "poo." We decided it was because he didn't wipe well - he has very bad hemorrhoids. We purchased Preparation H wipes and that's helped.

Since my daughter has hit puberty she has actually been sent home from school because of her underarm odor. She has no clue. Food dripping off her chin, not bothering to wear pads when she has her period, sleeping on pee soaked sheets... She doesn't care. My 6 year old niece refuses to play with her because of the smell.

Could J be eating a lot of veggies, soy, or something else that is upsetting her system?


Mike said...

Hello my friend. Sorry you had a rough holiday.

I wanted to touch on the subject of TV. It is not necessarily bad for our kids it just needs to be broken down in to smaller timeframes. You also need to take the time to talk about what you just watched in a fun way. Their reflection of the movie may be very different than yours or mine. Some would say over stimulating but that is only part of the problem.

These sweet little children function in primitive areas of their brain and often misidentify what they are seeing. Correctly reciprocating emotions is almost impossible for some of our children. An example would be their constant usage of “I hate ………” Hate is an emotion but one I use sparingly. They do not grasp dislike, bother, irritate or other less powerful emotions. Many just don’t know what emotions “feel” like.

I might suggest talking with your AT about making some flash cards of emotions and make learning them a game. Associate a picture of a happy time with happy and so on. J is very young and might be receptive to such a strategy.

Changing the subject and referencing a prior post I just wanted to tell you I think the world of you and your true dedication to J. There are many approaches out there meant to help our kids. You know J best. You have to follow your own path. The two of us are always here for you if you find yourself lost.

AND to whoever has taken issues to Lisa’s parenting techniques is welcome to send me a message privately. I have a 14 y/o very violent RAD daughter that needs a place to live. I can let you walk a hundred miles in her shoes.

Hang in there Lisa!