Monday, July 14, 2008

I am a smudger

Where to begin....

Friday J had a great day in school! Yippee! I have been told by 3 different people that I needed to smudge my house, myself & J. What the heck is smudging???? Was told to use copal instead of sage and be sure to get behind doors, inside closets and drawers. So my friend Chris gave me enough to get started and Saturday morning we had a smudging ceremony. "God please take away all the negative energy and leave us with a house of peace." J loved it and had the best time. She helped show me where all the negative energy was hiding!

We left early to go to the lake and J swam all day and had a blast! She learned to dive and swim underwater (without holding her nose)! It was a big day. JJ and AJ (friends of G) arrived by boat around 4:30. I sent J up to the house to see if Daddy G was there yet and if so, to tell him that JJ & AJ were there. He was but wouldn't come down to the dock. Trying to be polite (note to self: don't do that again!) I invited AJ & JJ to come up. Invitation accepted. Keep in mind that AJ is very loud and add some alcohol and it's totally out of hand. G is naturally loud too a lot of the time.

G was cooking (big gasp here) dinner when we got up to the house. I started J on her bath noticing that things were loud in the kitchen but didn't pay it a lot of attention. Passing through the kitchen offering to help AJ had taken over my kitchen and was cooking dinner and I was told to get out. Not a good sign. Where's a taser when you need one???? Gracefully excused myself and I started getting cleaned up for dinner. G came in and said J was screaming for me. Running in the bathroom expecting disaster and finding that J just wanted to get out of the tub. Bad mama did not see the signs of distress. Totally missed it in the chaos. Gave her 5 more minutes to soak as she was doing a sea salt soak. Went back in a few minutes and got her out and started her drying her hair. This was my attempt to keep her out of the chaos for a few more minutes hoping against hope that JJ & AJ would leave. No such luck.

Dinner ready and instead of leaving JJ & AJ wait for us to finish. See the clouds going across J's face since the chaos is sitting behind her. J decides she's not hungry. Huge sign of distress. My child is ALWAYS hungry. Finally JJ & AJ decide to leave and G walks them down to the dock. He's gone for over 1 1/2 hours talking to them at the dock. Also keep in mind that Daddy G only sees J (by his choice) Saturday evening (J goes to bed at 7) and Sunday until 3:30 or 4 when we leave to come home. They have a tradition of laying on the couch reading stories, playing games and other fun stuff before bedtime. So J is waiting patiently for the couple of hours that is precious to her with her Daddy G and he's blowing her off (in her mind). G calls up and says he's going on a boat ride with JJ & AJ. Well....I am not going to deliver this news to J so I politely say that we're going to go on home but to go ahead and have a great time. Big huff! "Fine! I won't go! I'm coming up!" Well... that is code for "I'm coming up but you're going to pay cause I'm going to be in a crappy mood so we'll all be miserable." NOT going to happen.

By the time he came up we had the car packed and very kindly said thanks for letting us swim & for dinner and then we split. When we got in the car J let out a heavy sigh. I asked her how she was feeling. She said, "thanks for letting us go home Mom. I really want to sleep in my bed tonight because that was really scary." Me, "what was scary honey?" J, "Those people were really scary and I was really scared of them last week too." (They came by after the fireworks last weekend.) Next was, "why didn't Daddy G not want to see me?" I tried to be honest but w/o making G look bad. Wasn't easy at this point. I understand he wants to see JJ & AJ. I totally get that! Yet he sees them 4 or 5 times a week and J only a 24 hour period and she's sleeping for 12 of those hours! On the good side I am so proud of her to be able to tell me what she was feeling instead of throwing a fit and to know that going home to sleep in her bed would make it all better. Very HUGE! She was really down but we were able to talk through all her feelings. I asked her what would it take to make her feel better and she said that Daddy G needed to apologize to her and she didn't want to go there for 2 weeks and to go to my lakehouse instead. Very cool again! Right before I put her to bed she said, "Mom, we need to smudge the lakehouse and Daddy G too." That child amazes me sometimes with her astuteness. You said it sweetie!

Sunday morning G arrived with the J's crystals and salt that I had forgotten. J was able to tell him what happened and I was proud yet again. He apologized. We went to the DQ for breakfast and all was right with the world. G left right after breakfast because J had a play date with her friend, Maddy, after church. A few minutes after he left June called and Maddy wasn't coming because her father had hurt her feelings and had some really bad behavior. J was disappointed but accepted it.

Shopping was next on the list. Now shopping is most certainly my most dreaded chore but it is J's favorite thing so shopping we went. J had $23 of her own hard earned money that she had budgeted for spending money. (Y'all know she budgets her money into categories of Spending, Christmas/gifts, Tithes & Savings.) My smart girl has $44 in savings, $40 in Christmas & $15 in tithes! So to Target we go and she discovered she had enough to buy this toy which was on sale for $17.48 and a hula hoop! She was so proud of herself!

Daddy G showed up with sushi in hand. I had already made home-grown fried okra, juicy red tomatoes, silver queen corn, fried green tomatoes, cucumbers and corn bread so we had a spread. Did I mention that my kid loves to eat????? Daddy G asked J how her play date went. Black cloud across her face again.....Then she told him that Maddy didn't get to come. "Why not," asked Daddy G. Very matter of factly J said, "her daddy hurt her feelings too." Ouch! That stings! After Daddy G picked his feelings up off the floor he apologized.

Very proud of J for telling yet again how she feels. Using words instead of meltdowns......Very big stuff!

Now I need help....anybody know where you can buy boxes of good, cheap children's books. J's in 1st grade but reading on 3rd grade level. Anybody got any ideas???? I am listening.....


marythemom said...

Dang! I wish you lived closer! I'm a bookaholic and I have tons of books. My youngest is going into 4th grade (and he's an excellent reader) so I have quite a few books mine don't read anymore. EVERY birthday, Christmas, trip to Goodwill, trip to Half Price Bookstore we bring home tons of books. It's the one thing I always consider "appropriate." *grin*

Wanna make a trip to Texas?!


Tudu said...

Craigslist! I love it. Also Freecycle is a great place to find some.