Thursday, January 29, 2009

Admitting

An interesting conversation just occurred. J had just finished her blog and she was doing a double check for errors and I spotted a missing punctuation. She proceeded to have a fit. Hmmmm... It's almost time for bed so I went for her meds and got the defiant "I am NOT going to take them." Fine. I wasn't willing to argue about it so I shut the door on my way out to take the water and meds back to the kitchen. Much wailing, crying and screaming ensued. You're all familiar with this. I put everything up and went back in. I asked her if she would like for me to hold her while she was crying. "No ma'am. I won't cry when you walk out the door. It's just RAD crying. It's all fake. I'll stop it as soon as you shut the door. I'll quit rubbing my eyes too hard too when you're not watching." And she did. It was all I could do not to giggle.

This is not news to me but it sure was interesting that she recognized and admitted it.

It's been a long day of idioms, homophones, prefixes, suffixes, adjectives, verbs and nouns so she is probably exhausted. I know I am.

On the adoption front...during breaks I've made several calls about some kids ages 5-10. Someone has a really funny sense of humor. I had three things on my list that were deal breakers on whether or not I would consider a child. 1. No pet abusers (Puddin's been through enough); 2. No runners (I don't have the energy to chase anymore); 3. No history of false allegations (I don't want to risk a child making a false allegation and J being jerked out of my home until DCFS figures out I'm not a child abuser which in our county this could take years. J doesn't need to be back in that situation again especially since she's just recovering from the traumas of foster care.) Here comes the funny part. Every. single. child. I've inquired about has all 3. Yep. Funny sense of humor. I guess that should show me to never ever put stipulations on what "I" think should happen.

Sidenote: J was placed in my home 10/23/06. The state that she was moved from completed all the paperwork for ICPC and notified our county that J would be arriving and they would need them to monitor placement. They never came. They never called. Until 12/08!!!! They called to tell me they would be monitoring J's placement. Really????? The adoption was completed over a year ago and she's been here for over 2 years. "Oh, there must have been some mistake." Ya think? (The other state gave up after trying for 3 months and hired a private SW to monitor our placement.)

12 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Maybe it's a sign that you don't need to bring in a kid with one of those 3 things, but all 3!!!

Ashley said...

Wowee Ms Lisa!! Turn it over to the universe is all the advice *I* can give!!

Hannah_Rae said...

The J conversation cracks me up. It is so awesome that you have taught her so much that she can label it now. :) Good job, Mom!!! I was looking through a sensory catalog and totally thought of J. Some awesome things in there, but EXPENSIVE!!!

Anywho, God knows what kids are supposed to be with you, so don't trust the paper work. :)

Jo said...

I am in awe of this child, also of her mother! She can verbalize now, what is going on. What marvelous progress. Wow. I haven't ever heard of a child (or adult) ever being this aware. And on the kids? Ha ha, cosmic joke I think!

Torina said...

There is another little girl on the mnadopt.org site. You will know when you see her. Not the blonde one that you saw before.

J is hilarious. Tara recognizes her tricks, too. After she is done, she will ask me if I liked her "show" and say, "You know, it isn't real mom. It is all a show."

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

That is absolutely amazing to me. Amazing. AMAZING that J can recognize what she is doing and why.
Well, I would stick to your 3 points for other children. Esp the pet part. I wonder if J will be able to peg the behavior of other kids- wouldn't that be cool!

Holly said...

Hope you plan on continuing your adoption search. I remember filling out the exhaustive list when I first started my journey and it is so good you know your limits even though they change as you continue lifes journey.

When I started reading your post I had to grin since I thought I was reading about my own daughter. Glad to know I'm not the only one who chuckles in the midst of the chaos.

Dinah said...

That's wonderful that J can realize and verbalize her feelings & reactions...that is so HUGE in healing!! Not even I (mostly healthy brained) can always verbalize what I'm feeling all the time and why I'm reacting like I do. YEAH FOR J!!!!

On the adoption front....don't be talked into something you don't feel is right. When the right thing happens, you will know!!

motherissues said...

Wow, Lisa, this is all interesting stuff! I'm sooo glad J's able to understand her behavior, even if she's not at a point yet where she can always change it. I'm fascinated by the progress you're making.

I know my state is not good about making info about available kids available and then not too good about moving kids to out-of-state homes, which is sad. I hope you're able to find a kid who will meet your needs, which do sound reasonable given all we know you are able to put up with!

Viva Las Vegas said...

HEY YOU. YES I HAVE BEEN OUT OF TOUCH, AND I KIND OF SUCKS. I AM TRYING TO GET BACK INTO IT, BUT WHEN I THINK I DO, I CAN NOT. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY AND ASK PEOPLE TOO. MY NEIGHBORHOOD IS CRAZY, AND I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO, BUT I WILL WRITE SOON ABOUT IT. I MISS ALL OF YOU. BY THE WAY, YOU ARE DOING SUCH A GOOD, GREAT JOB! I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE!

Muppet said...

Oh my...

I love the honest labeling of what J's doing and why.

Hell, I wish I could do that. :)

Maury said...

Man, I am behind on reading your blog. That is just awesome that J can describe what she is doing and why so well. That is exactly right....most adults aren't that good! I am so proud of the work you have done for her!

I totally understand your "list"...there is a child out there that is just for you....God will lead her to you.

We are about to start taking more heart gallery photos at the end of the month...I am going to be on the lookout for you. I have no idea who the kids are right now, but we are really behind on photographing, so we have a lot of new ones.