Monday, January 5, 2009

Tonight

It's one of those nights....so be warned...

J wrote a highly emotional piece this morning that just took my breath away. Honestly I don't know how she does it but she is very matter-of-fact and says, "but it's the truth, Mom." You really can't argue with that. Boy does she love her some !!!!!!! and capital letters. She was so excited about adding music too. She picked all the songs but said Welcome to Where Ever You Are had to be first because she says the words tell her story. It makes me cry too.

I know the stories but still there's something about being typed with her little hands that hunt and peck for an hour to write a paragraph and how she wrinkles up her forehead when she's trying to choose her words, studying carefully with what she's willing to share. It's emotional for a mom.

To have so much support and nice comments is emotional too. Tonight Miss Chrissi and Jo both made me cry. I am a puddle of blubbering mess.

Then...my daughter brought her journal for me to read. In case y'all have forgotten J started keeping a journal on November 26, 2008. There's a list of things she has to write about in her journal and you can find that in an earlier post from me but one of them is to write down 3 things she likes about herself. Every night she struggles with this because her self image and self-esteem have been so low. It's the hardest part for her. And...every night it's the same things...I like my toes, elbows, arms, legs, then she ran out of body parts and started listing her joints. Toe joints, ankle joints, knee joints, etc.

Tonight it read: 1. I'm Working Hard, 2. I Love Myself, 3. I Like Myself.

The First. Time. Ever.

I am an even bigger puddle of blubbering mess. Somebody bring in a wetvac. It's going to take one to clean this up.

14 comments:

Kristina P. said...

This is awesome, Lisa! It sounds like this blogging thing has been really great for her self esteem. I think she has more followers than me!

Jillene said...

HOW AWESOME!! I am off to check out her blog right now!!

Corrine said...

I follow J's blog. It is super to hear her tell her story. She is one heck of a kid!

Accidental Mommy said...

Awww. You are one lucky woman, but I am sure you know that already *wink*

motherissues said...

I've always known blogging was therapeutic, but you and J are taking that to a whole new level! Congratulations to you both.

Kelly said...

Wow! I am so amazed by your little girl. I know you are so proud of her. I think it is great that blogging can help her and so many others too. Thank you for sharing her with us.

Jo said...

No kidding. May I join you in the puddle? Between what she blogged today, about being hurt, and you blogging about what she is proud of, I am feeling pretty damp myself.
You have given your daughter a voice! A safe enough place to talk about the scary things. I don't know how you did it, but it is the most amazing gift. I haven't ever met/heard of a RAD kid who was so insightful. You two fill me with hope. Her story is not hers alone, but the story of the millions. God bless you both. Now go find a towel..

Torina said...

I missed your tapping video. WAHHHH!!!! I didn't have a chance to surf at lunch at work today cause I had emails to answer and I must have missed it because it won't load at home. Boo hoo hoo.

I am so glad this is making a positive impact on J. I am thinking about having Tara read her blog and commenting. I don't know that she would really understand it since she is cognitively much younger than J but maybe...just maybe...it might somehow trickle in her noggin :)

Holly said...

That's so great. So good to hear this. I need to check out her blog too.

Perspective is Everything said...

Saw the tapping video.. that was a great help. And the photos on Flickr.. It's cool to see the stories come alive in pictures.

I'm so happy for you and J.

Those things keep ya goin' don't they!

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

oh my gosh, her list, that is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hannah_Rae said...

Wow! That's a lot of amazing firsts. I am so engrossed in your story now. Probably cuz I know our little girl is thinking and feeling many of the same things, and it's like a little insight into her heart...maybe. Hope.

Thanks so much. You are both so brave.

-Hannah

Annette said...

Blog'n has really helped her! I love it! She is on her way to a normal happy healthy life, all because your heart had room for someone. You are such a wonderful example.

Ashley said...

Lisa-

Will comment on your beautiful J's blog when I can pull myself together enough to be brave like I should. She, and you, fill my heart and take my breath away- Just thought you should know.

A.