Tonight

It's one of those nights....so be warned...

J wrote a highly emotional piece this morning that just took my breath away. Honestly I don't know how she does it but she is very matter-of-fact and says, "but it's the truth, Mom." You really can't argue with that. Boy does she love her some !!!!!!! and capital letters. She was so excited about adding music too. She picked all the songs but said Welcome to Where Ever You Are had to be first because she says the words tell her story. It makes me cry too.

I know the stories but still there's something about being typed with her little hands that hunt and peck for an hour to write a paragraph and how she wrinkles up her forehead when she's trying to choose her words, studying carefully with what she's willing to share. It's emotional for a mom.

To have so much support and nice comments is emotional too. Tonight Miss Chrissi and Jo both made me cry. I am a puddle of blubbering mess.

Then...my daughter brought her journal for me to read. In case y'all have forgotten J started keeping a journal on November 26, 2008. There's a list of things she has to write about in her journal and you can find that in an earlier post from me but one of them is to write down 3 things she likes about herself. Every night she struggles with this because her self image and self-esteem have been so low. It's the hardest part for her. And...every night it's the same things...I like my toes, elbows, arms, legs, then she ran out of body parts and started listing her joints. Toe joints, ankle joints, knee joints, etc.

Tonight it read: 1. I'm Working Hard, 2. I Love Myself, 3. I Like Myself.

The First. Time. Ever.

I am an even bigger puddle of blubbering mess. Somebody bring in a wetvac. It's going to take one to clean this up.