Thursday, January 15, 2009

More on tapping

Just wanted to throw in that you can use tapping on a child of any age. In fact the younger the better. If they are pre-verbal just say all the words and do the tapping for them. I am loved, I'm a totally great kid, I'm safe, etc. The younger they are the better it works because they are really in tune with their energy. The older we get the more we tune stuff out. Plus you'll be giving them tools to use all their life. Like when they are in high school or college and really stressed out about an exam, they'll have the tools to use to get over anxiety and stress. Once it's incorporated into their lifestyle hopefully it will be a tool they'll use instead of turning to drinking and drugs.

Our AT has taught so many of her patients to do tapping that it's now being done tons of classrooms in our county. The kids bring it in, the teachers see it's working and are using it for the whole class. That's really cool.

Expanding on J's post today. G had J get on the back of his motorcycle yesterday. Not to ride. Just to sit. He said he was going to crank it but not move. J almost went over the brink. Total fight or flight. I tried to get her to jump out of it quickly before it escalated. I started by trying to hug her and she jerked away. Then I tried to get her to jump. She couldn't do it. I asked her to run down to the car. Couldn't do it. Followed her down there and had her looking in my eyes to do rubbing. G came up behind and said loudly, "I can't stand all the drama take me back to the office. You're scaring her, get away from her,", etc. As we're taking him back to the office he continues to argue, be confrontational and passive aggressive. J is sitting in the backseat trying to fix it. "Daddy G, you need to concentrate. My Mom knows how to help me., I wish you would try to understand, etc" I'm just trying to get him back to the office so that we can have some peace.

We were going to the AT's office anyway so when we get there I was able to do Reiki, rubbing, etc and she was much calmer. She tells the AT it's very scary for her to hear Daddy G arguing. Ya think?! She started her letter to him this morning. Typed the whole thing by herself and emailed it to her AT who also approved it. She is scared to send it because she thinks he's going to be mad at her and argue more but she says it's more important to send it. Then there's the whole thing that he's going to think I wrote it for her and I didn't. Y'all know how well my kid writes. She doesn't need my help.

If he reads her blog he'll be even more mad because it will be offensive to him to have personal information on the net. Because you know it's so much nicer when everyone doesn't know your dirty laundry. Blech. He doesn't realize that you're only as sick as your secrets. J & I have tried to hide her RAD from people, and we are still discreet locally, but we've both talked about the fact that we think it's more important to be transparent in the effort to help others.

Last night she didn't want to talk to him at their normal bedtime phone call. She said she was still mad and scared. This morning she said she was more mad than scared. It's just frustrating to her because he won't "listen" to what she's trying to say. Yep. Me too.

I have her permission to share her letter here:

Dear Daddy G,

I want to tell you something. It hurts my feelings when you argue
with my Mom in front of me. I wish you wouldn't do it. It scares
me. I wish you understood more about RAD. I have alot of tools to
help me be a normal kid. Some of them are: look in Mom's eyes, get
my Mom to touch me, or hug me to calm me down. Sometimes I run from
her or pull away when I need eye contact or hugs because my RAD makes
me turn scared into MAD. Then my Mom helps me by making me look in
her eyes, touching me or jumping.

I'm scared to send this letter. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I just want to be honest about my feelings.

Sincerely,

J

10 comments:

Kristina P. said...

It sounds like she is realy learning to be more assertive and stand up for herself. Good for her!

Ashley said...

You have such an amazing little girl- I tried to comment on her blog earlier but Blogger munched on my comment...

I'm pulling for all of you and wish I could do more.

Light, Love and Energy

Ashley

Torina said...

When your kid sticks up for herself, isn't that just one of the greatest feelings as a mom? I love it! J is doing so well. She is acknowledging her behavior. Tara has been doing this now, too. She is honest about it which is huge for our kids.

Accidental Mommy said...

She is so mature everything considered.

I was worried in my post on her blog that it might have been too much.

Even though I don't know the whole situation, I feel like I can relate to G. Seems like he was trying to do something fun with his daughter and it backfired and he felt hurt and frustrated. Then he sees you two and feels like he has no place in that. Rather than admit his feelings, he tells himself it's a bunch of bull and just wants out.

I could be projecting but from his reaction, that's exactly the reaction I would have had less than 2 months ago. I had gotten to the point where I thought it was total bs and just a bunch of babying for nothing at all.

Somehow, J's post and my kids eyes made a connection and I could see that there was no denying it. For better or worse, it is what it is and I have to accept that. I don't have to like though. lol

It's a tough situation.

PS. Love the tapping. It is a life saver.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I fired up a post for ya' there, sista-friend. Hope it works lol.
Totally agree with you on the laundry. Fact is, it is obvious to the world something is off with my kid. No question. I can explain it and share it and maybe help someone else. Or we can be ashamed and try to hide it and give ourselves a bunch of other issues. And people will see it anyway.

Lauri said...

How brave of her...

It's hard to get people to understand


Good for you for doing what J needed

Jo said...

Good for you, good for her! While I don't have much hope for him, learning to deal with difficult people is an important skill. And that is one important thing J can learn, to speak her truth. I love that she isn't keeping her secrets, because I do think you are right.

jenniebee said...

It's kind of too bad G only sees the non-meltdown, non-snarling rage, not-threatening-homicide girl that you've helped J become. My not-terribly-constructive instinct would be that the next time G whinges and moans about the "drama" of helping J to keep it together, to let J bring it and show G just.how.bad.it.can.get.

It can't be easy for J to handle that rejection from G, and that's what this is - instead of helping her find the path to emotional health, he's just rejecting the part of her that isn't healthy yet. Ask him sometime if he complains about the "drama" when an asthmatic scrambles for an inhaler, or when a diabetic starts going into insulin shock.

Grrrr...

PeWee said...

Lisa, you are raising a very independent little girl. You've gotta be sooo proud of her!

Perspective is Everything said...

Just wanted to say "thanks" for all the good stuff on tapping. Mr and I watch the videos, and he's trying to learn from J. I have been trying to order the "Tapping for Kids" book so we can learn more, but it's been out of stock. I asked the chiro-neurologist about it and he encouraged us to try it. Thank you again!

I can relate to the Daddy G drama.