Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Feeling Stupid

One of the new baby calves on my parent's farm.

For those of you who are new to my blog, please go read this post about Before and After first.  Don't worry.  I'll wait right here.... It'll be helpful for you to know where we started to where we are now.  It's only a snippet of our lives but you'll get the idea.  Those of you who've been hanging around with us for a while, it would probably help to get a reminder.  It's easy for me to forget too.

Trauma doesn't leave overnight and love doesn't come in an instant.

While the fear level that our kids have is off the charts, our kids also feel stupid most of the time.  Their internal script keeps repeating in their brains.  It a hard cycle to break but the behaviors of "playing stupid" or "forgetfulness" can drive a person batty.  I've never thought to do tapping on this belief but several events occurred a couple of weeks ago that lead Kristy to giving J & Kara the script below.  Kristy gave us the example of "Pretend you're in a strange country.  You know the language of this strange country but if you're really, really scared it feels safer to pretend as if you have no idea what anyone is talking about."  She put it much more eloquently but you get the idea.

You already know the tapping points from the videos but here is our current script:

Even though I think I'm stupid, I'm a great kid.

Even though I think I'm not as smart as other kids, I'm clever and my mom loves me.

Even though sometimes other kids get more attention than me, I love myself.

Even though I'm worried that others think I'm stupid, I'm a great kid.

Even though I know I'm smart, thank you *RAD brain for playing stupid so I could stay safe.

Even though I like to pretend I forgot, I'm a great kid.

I let go of thinking I'm stupid.

It's impossible to measure smartness.

Even though I've felt stupid and less than, I'm working on this.

I release feeling stupid.

I release feeling stupid.

I release feeling stupid.

I release feeling less than.

I believe I can be smart.

I believe I can remember.

I believe I can learn.

I believe I can always pretend to be stupid if I need to feel safe even though there might be consequences.

Even though I use playing stupid to keep me safe, I can play smart.

Even though I'm scared to play smart sometimes, I'm a great kid.

Even though I'm scared, my mom loves me.

I'm letting go of feeling stupid.

I'm doing the best I can and I accept myself.

Today I think I'll choose to play smart.

Today I think I'll remember things I'm supposed to remember.

Today I think I'll choose to be smart and let others see the real me.

There had been some competition issues in classwork that warranted this script.  It's all based in fear but it's hard to see the fear for the behaviors.  Thank goodness Kristy spotted this one.  The competition has stopped and the grades are much improved.  Wish we'd been doing this one sooner.

Sheri was convinced tapping wouldn't work and thinking it was darn hinky actually.  She posted tonight on her successes with tapping.  Super coolness!  But then again everything Sheri does is pretty darn cool!

1 comment:

Sarah said...

This is brilliant! The "forgetfulness" drives INSANE!