Pretty much everyone has watched The Bl*nd Side, right? This is a movie that I really enjoyed but I wanted to know the rest of the story. Cause you know that Hollywood totally dramatized and changed things in the movie.
Enter "I Beat The Odds," by Michael Oh*r. This is the real story. Oh my but it is goodness. Michael tells how things really went down. He is so respectful and kind and all kinds of loveliness. He writes of his love of both his families, his family of origin and his adopted family. He writes of open adoption and how the Tuohys' included his first mom and siblings in his with his adopted family. He clears up all the misconceptions of the movie. He was pretty frosted about the scenes portraying him as stupid and that he had no idea how to play football but he clears all that up in a very tactful manner.
Michael is a man of great principles and it shows in every word. He is also a man to admire because he is working to set a great example for our children. He talks of learning to set boundaries. The book is written in a manner that is to encourage our children to "Beat The Odds." There are no inappropriate words for our kids to read. It is delightful in it's cleanness. This book is absolutely next on J's reading list. It is warm, embracing, and inspiring.
Quoted from the book,
"No matter what is going on around you that you can't control, your attitude is the one thing that you can control.
"We are all in this together, I'm pledging my support to be the best role model I can be through appearances and speeches I make for the various foster care support groups I work with, as well as with my lifestyle and the choices I make. I hope each child reading this book will pledge to value their life enough to commit to making it no matter what; and that every adult will pledge to find a way - any way- to give back.
If we all believe we can achieve something great, then I know that together, we can beat the odds, one life at a time."
J cannot have contact with her first family due to huge safety issues but this book opened my eyes to the fact that I should always be kind and respectful of J's feelings about her family of origin. I really do try to be very respectful but it's hard to keep that thought process in the pre-frontal lobe of my brain. Yes, the physical, emotional and sexu*l damage was something to be very angry about but if I reject her first family, it is as if I reject her. It also helped me to see how her internal beliefs were formed.
Loved, loved, loved "I Beat The Odds". Run, don't walk, to buy this book.
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2 comments:
I just reserved the book from our library. I wondered about his story as well. Hollywood sugarcoats our struggles and invalidates them. Good for Michael for pledging to change not only his thinking but that of the rest of us. Thanks for sharing, Lisa!
That "first family" thing is such a tricky thing to negotiate. For some reason I don't quite understand, the moment I fell in love with my children that seemed to include their entire extended families. The first time I remember this coming out in the open was one night praying with Sergei, and he stopped me when I prayed for his mother, "Why would you pray for her? She hurt me!" I tried to explain - But, how could he be the wonderful person he was if she hadn't had a lot of goodness in her? He may have bought that, but I tried to be more careful. With Anastsia, there's no winning. If I say something positive about her mother, that sets her off; yet if I even hint at something negative, that upsets her, too. Let's just say she's "reactive" on the topic!
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