We're a broken record. Sorry. Jordan recorded this tonight. Hopefully some of you will be able to do it before bedtime and the kids can process it while they sleep.
We can be our own worst enemies with our internal dialogue. This is about giving voice to our worst fears and thoughts and letting them go. It's the elephant in the room. They think it, we feel it and no one talks about it. Let the fear have a voice and they will be able to let those negative thoughts go. Fear is driving almost all the behaviors but it's so hard to remember that in the heat of the moment.
We didn't use a lot of "totally love and accept myself's" on purpose because if your kid isn't ready to hear that about themselves it's better to bring it in slowly.
We can be our own worst enemies with our internal dialogue. This is about giving voice to our worst fears and thoughts and letting them go. It's the elephant in the room. They think it, we feel it and no one talks about it. Let the fear have a voice and they will be able to let those negative thoughts go. Fear is driving almost all the behaviors but it's so hard to remember that in the heat of the moment.
We didn't use a lot of "totally love and accept myself's" on purpose because if your kid isn't ready to hear that about themselves it's better to bring it in slowly.
From J (She works for comments, people.) :)
Script: (change to fit your child)
Even tho people in my past taught me that I'm unloveable, my mom loves me
Even tho my heart is broken, my mom can help me heal it.
Even tho I hate doing anything that I'm told to do, my family still loves me.
Even tho I've been hurt so bad for so long that I think I'm completely broken my family loves me anyway.
Even tho I'm terrified that my family is going to throw me away just like everyone else, they totally love me.
Even tho I try to show my family how much I've been hurt by throwing fits, screaming, and raging so they will hurry up and throw me away just like everyone else, they will keep me anyway.
Even tho I try to show my family how bad I am so they will just hurry up and throw me away, they will love me anyway.
Even tho my heart hurts so bad I think it will be broken forever, my parents can help it heal completely.
Even tho I want my mom to know how much I'm hurting and I can't tell her, she knows how much I hurt.
Even tho I push my mom away by hurting her like I've been hurt, she knows why I act like I do and hears my pain.
Even tho I hurt other people the way I’ve been hurt, I can choose to stop hurting others.
Even tho the pain and fear is so great, my mom accepts me right where I am right now.
Even tho my mom knows I'm broken, she is going to keep me forever, even if I decide to never get better.
Even tho letting go of my anger is so scary, my mom will help me if I let her and I can use my words to tell her I'm scared.
Even tho I'm afraid I'm the only one in the world that's been hurt so bad, I know there are other kids, hurt, just like me.
Even tho I'm so ashamed of my behavior that I don't know how to stop, my mom loves me anyway and will wait till I'm ready to heal my broken heart.
Even tho I'm afraid to tell my family I'm scared they will leave me, they love me anyway and will keep me anyway.
Even tho I'm terrified to let anyone in my heart, my mom totally loves me and knows why I act like I do.
Someday I will clear the fear,
the pain,
the hurt,
the anger,
the shame
Maybe I'll choose to clear some today
Maybe I'll choose to clear some tomorrow.
I can keep the pain as long as I want.
Or I can choose to do something different.
Either way my family will still love me even if I don't love myself.
I'm okay just as I am right now.
My mom will wait for me
If I need help my mom will help me if I let her.
I can choose to let mom help me.
Today I might choose to let my heart heal just a little.
Today I might let my mom see my real heart. Just a little bit of my real heart.
Just for today I will let a little pain out and let just a little bit of love in.
I'm okay just as I am and my mom will wait on me to feel safe.
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11 comments:
J does such an awesome job. Thanks for sharing this. I have a question. The script is long and if the person has memory and reading issues, what do you think about having one or two phrases that we use through the whole tapping session?
Lee, you can absolutely do that! J still loves to do tapping with me so I usually help her find the words and we do it together. Tapping is always helpful. She also loves doing them with Brad Yates videos so she can say it along with him.
Oh, J (and L)! Thank you so much! It's like you wrote this script just for my daughter!
J, you did a fantastic job! I had my 13 year old son tap along with you. I told him to ignore whatever didn't apply to him. (And, I assured him that not everything applied to you, as well.) It seemed to help him and I plan to keep doing it.
Angela :-)
Well done! I'm sure a video like yours inspires other parents to try tapping to overcome painful problems. You're a role model. Tank you
Hey Jordan. Great job! And extremely helpful for me and my 12-year old son P. Thank you!!
Your words are very powerful and brought tears to my eyes.
You are very right that you are not the only kid who feels the way you do. I can understand how you feel so alone and ashamed sometimes, though. But I hope you will keep reminding yourself that you really aren't alone.
Thanks again,
A mom in Winnipeg Canada
Update: My daughter (11) was so stressed about leaving me for school this morning. First she tried to pick a fight by refusing to brush her teeth then she admitted she was scared to be away from me and had a big cry. I don't think she feels well, so I let her stay home. We tapped to this video and she got so relaxed she went back to bed to rest. She said it made her feel better.
Inspirational J, thank you.
Thank you, Jordan, for doing this video. It helps me to see you do it so that I can learn from you. You are a good teacher!
Is it possible for you to tell me how it makes you feel after you do the tapping? Does it help your brain or insides to feel more calm?
And thank you, Lisa, for sharing Jordan with us!
Wonderful and Brave! Thanks so much for making these videos to share J!
Cynthia
I'm trying hard to get my 8 year old daughter to tap with me she resists.I've tried tapping myself hoping that she would join me. I've also tried having her tap on me while I tap on her. The whole thing makes her uncomfortable. She has a really hard time talking about adoption and her feelings. If I start talking she usually starts doing headstands and gets really chatty. Has anyone else struggled with this? I'd love some tips on how to start them slowly.
Thanks!
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