And I'll take it.
The first time in almost 2 months that J didn't have to be restrained in therapy. Progress...
We talked in therapy about the fact that she's doing everything to push me away and nothing to show she loves me. Kristy helped her identify some things she could do to show me love because it's important that she learns reciprocity. Hopefully she'll really start to make some effort here. We also talked about how she should know who my best friends are, my favorite things to do, etc. By the time we left she had everything memorized.
Things are improved for right now. It might not last for 5 more minutes but for this minute there is improvement. She was very helpful making dinner. We had salmon patties, gravy and tomatoes for dinner so I told her the story of this particular dinner. It is comfort food for me. My grandmother always fixed either this meal or cornmeal gravy for me when I was a little kid (and up till I was 35 - oops! I mean 29). So now when I'm feeling sad or blue I make these and then I can feel my grandmother's love and don't feel so sad any more. So I told her when she's all grown up and feeling sad & blue she'll be able to cook these and feel my love and not be sad & blue anymore. She really liked the story and was able to relay it back to me.
We also talked about more things she can do to show me love and practiced how the key words are "Jordan, it's not all about you." and then what would happen. She also did all the dinner dishes and gave me 10 minutes on the computer while she colored. I called Connie and she's going to keep J for me on 10/18 so that I can go to the Saturday Al-Anon meeting. I cannot tell you how important that meeting is for me in that it helps me learn how to practice detachment from the situation. Many of the lessons I learned in Al-Anon are what have kept me going where others have given up. Learning it's not about me, I didn't cause, I can't control it and I can't cure it, you don't have to go to every fight you're invited to, just because someone calls you a chair doesn't mean you're a chair, detach with love and too many more to mention. Hopefully it'll work out where I can get to at least 2 a month. God bless her! Thanks to Kristy for the brilliant suggestion.
Torina, I am anxiously expecting the promised pictures. 0;-) Just because I'm feeling a little more hopeful doesn't mean you're off the hook.
To all you new folks I am so glad you're here. Even if it's just to be grateful that you're not a resident in our life. ;-) 13 Followers - you rock! Feeling really special now!
To all the faithful supporters, you're my rock, glue, calm in the storm, giggles, and sometimes snorts. Tudu your words will stay with me forever.