Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Small amounts of progress

And I'll take it.
The first time in almost 2 months that J didn't have to be restrained in therapy. Progress...

We talked in therapy about the fact that she's doing everything to push me away and nothing to show she loves me. Kristy helped her identify some things she could do to show me love because it's important that she learns reciprocity. Hopefully she'll really start to make some effort here. We also talked about how she should know who my best friends are, my favorite things to do, etc. By the time we left she had everything memorized.

Things are improved for right now. It might not last for 5 more minutes but for this minute there is improvement. She was very helpful making dinner. We had salmon patties, gravy and tomatoes for dinner so I told her the story of this particular dinner. It is comfort food for me. My grandmother always fixed either this meal or cornmeal gravy for me when I was a little kid (and up till I was 35 - oops! I mean 29). So now when I'm feeling sad or blue I make these and then I can feel my grandmother's love and don't feel so sad any more. So I told her when she's all grown up and feeling sad & blue she'll be able to cook these and feel my love and not be sad & blue anymore. She really liked the story and was able to relay it back to me.

We also talked about more things she can do to show me love and practiced how the key words are "Jordan, it's not all about you." and then what would happen. She also did all the dinner dishes and gave me 10 minutes on the computer while she colored. I called Connie and she's going to keep J for me on 10/18 so that I can go to the Saturday Al-Anon meeting. I cannot tell you how important that meeting is for me in that it helps me learn how to practice detachment from the situation. Many of the lessons I learned in Al-Anon are what have kept me going where others have given up. Learning it's not about me, I didn't cause, I can't control it and I can't cure it, you don't have to go to every fight you're invited to, just because someone calls you a chair doesn't mean you're a chair, detach with love and too many more to mention. Hopefully it'll work out where I can get to at least 2 a month. God bless her! Thanks to Kristy for the brilliant suggestion.

Torina, I am anxiously expecting the promised pictures. 0;-) Just because I'm feeling a little more hopeful doesn't mean you're off the hook.

To all you new folks I am so glad you're here. Even if it's just to be grateful that you're not a resident in our life. ;-) 13 Followers - you rock! Feeling really special now!

To all the faithful supporters, you're my rock, glue, calm in the storm, giggles, and sometimes snorts. Tudu your words will stay with me forever.


Kristina P. said...

Lisa, I'm glad to hear that things were better today!

Just keep telling yourself the joke I posted earlier.

I will be back with a new post tomorrow, that hopefully makes you laugh. :)

Tudu said...

Oh, No! If I knew you were going to keep them forever I would have given you better words. I have lost my voice and will call you as soon as I find it. I love the meal story and the dinner sounds great, too.

~Dinah said...

I also like your meal story. I think that's a very tangible story for you to share with your daughter. It's so hard to keep repeating to our RAD kiddos the specific actions that show love when we so take them all for granted.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one that needs some "ME" time. :)

Torina said...

Mmmmm, salmon patties. Sounds yummy. As you will soon read on my blog, I suck because I left the camera with the Farty McGee and Farty McGoo pictures at work. Alas, life. I'm glad today was a better day for you and J. I had my own pee experience with Tara today. First time in 1.5 years but we are heading into an anniversary ourselves...the best part was: she peed with her para. So now the school gets a taste of our reality. Only a little taste though.

Holly said...

Glad things are a little better today. I just met you through Torina's blog, but will be back. Glad you took care of yourself and had your comfort food for dinner.

Jillene said...

I am here from Torina's blog. My name is Jillene and I am ever so sorry for all the trials you are facing right now!

Something that always makes me laugh is the joke my 2 (almost 3) year old tells ALL OF THE TIME:
Knock knock!
Who's There?
I Eap!
I Eap Who?
Hahahahahaha!! You eat poo!!

Hope things get better soon. Oh yeah--once I comment on a blog that means that I am committed--I will now be checking out your blog (like 3-4 times a day) and adding you to my blog list!! Feel free to check me out too!! (0:

Jillene said...

Oh yeah--I will add myself to your follower list. Hope you are o.k. with this!!

Kelly said...

So glad to hear of a good day for you. Hoping and praying for many, many more. Love the dinner story. My kids love to hear my growing up stories and I too love to hear my mom and dad's. It's such a great way to connect with the people you love.

Christa said...

I'm also here via Torina. I'm amazed, facisnated and in awe of what you parents go through everyday. It obviously takes someone truly special to be able to handle the issues that RAD children have. I commend you for all of your hard work and I want you to know that even though I don't know you (or Torina) personally, I root for you everyday.

Andra said...

As a mom to a child in the autism spectrum with ADHD on the side, I can sympathize and somewhat empathize with your situation. Looking forward to walking with you...

Alyssa's Mom said...

I'm glad to hear that you had a ray of sunshine.

I'm also jealous that you have so many new readers!