G has only seen probably 2 of J's meltdowns. Ever. Usually she can hold it together in front of him because well... she doesn't see him that much. Last night he was at the house for all of 5 minutes before she exploded. I could see it coming for an hour and had been trying to divert it but it didn't work. He tried to pacify her out of it for a few minutes. God love him. You know...giving explanations to all of her screams of "I want to go outside, I hate you, you're a meanie, you're an assh*le", etc.... Answering her with an explanation. It only fueled the fire but he tried. Finally when the screams hit the highest decibel he's ever heard he disappeared into thin air faster than you can whippersnapper. Honestly on a bad fit scale of 1 -10, it was probably a 2. Not too bad. I was actually impressed that it wasn't worse considering the behavior leading up to the explosion. You know how you just get that sneaking suspicion that something major is about to pop?
15 minutes later she was sound asleep and snoring up a storm. No restraints necessary as she wasn't trying to hurt herself at all this time. Just a calm loving mom singing lullabies while she rocked her baby to sleep. Note to self: do more tapping this afternoon on adoption.
He called a couple of hours later...."I just don't know why y'all can't get along." Hmmm....
Vacation could be interesting....
About Me
- Lisa
- Watching and learning from my daughter every day. She is recovering from childhood trauma and growing emotionally in ways I never thought possible. She's taking me with her on the journey and I've had to learn and grow with her. She inspires me every day!
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8 comments:
Wow, Lisa. I sure hope YOU get a vacation. This is a great reminder of how even a RADmom with a support system as good as yours ends up doing so much alone.
Wow. That sounds rough. I'm sorry that G hasn't seen more outbursts. That sounds weird. I guess what I mean is that having seen them, it would probably instill more compassion. I'm glad you had an easy time gettting her to sleep.
I really think that sometimes dads don't get it. I was talking to my brother about this, because my SIL has been having a lot of problems with their oldest boy, because they are home all day together.
But he's a perfect angel when daddy is around, and it's frustrating for her.
I am glad he got to see it again. Is G going on vacation with you? Hopefully he can see a lead-up to the event. That helps. We have been "fortunate" in that Tara usually treats us both to the same crappy behavior, though in the beginning it was as though I did not even exist. Literally. So it was good for JB to see that and call her on it.
Well, at least He saw it.
Of course, He probably won't really "get it", until it is directed at him.
I'm glad that J went to bed happy!
Love,
Me
Wow! So glad she got to sleep with little intervention. Hope you enjoy your vacation.
Sorry, it's so hard when other's don't get it. Glad you were able to get her asleep with little intervention. Hope you get to enjoy your vacation.
glad he saw it but bummer! hopefully soon he'll "get" it and be a whole new kind of supportive. i think men just have a harder time, at least i know mine does, because he usually prefers to offer a can of suck it up! sounds like you've had quite a time, sorry! i'm just catching up and hope to stay more up to date. loved your story about your grandma's meal, so neat!!
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