Thursday, April 3, 2008

More tantrums....

It appears that the meds are wearing off too soon. More meltdowns, defiance and "out of sorts" behavior. Everything still seems better until after school which is 1 PM and goes downhill quickly in the afternoon. J's been taking it right before bed so last night I didn't give it to her and gave it this morning instead. The reason for night dosage is that it seems to help her sleep better. She's so hypervigilant, even in her sleep, that the slightest noise or touch will cause her to jump out bed, wide awake. With meds at night she was sleeping much sounder and seemed rested in the mornings. Hoping she's not sleepy during school. Keeping my fingers crossed....

This morning during school she will be writing an apology letter to Chrissi and to the pencil she broke during the defiant spell. In her letters she has to include 5 (positive) things she likes about Chrissi and the pencil. I don't know if it's the right thing to do but if anyone has any other ideas please feel free to share. Of course we had the "sitting in my lap talk" about feelings, bonding, etc and she made a verbal apology to Chrissi.

Feeling a little down this morning for some reason. Probably because it's 2 steps back. I've got to keep the focus on the fact that she had 11/12 great days!

Sometimes I wonder if she'll ever know how much I have fought for her to have help, therapies, worried about her, school, support, etc. Not to mention training, studying, searching for new ideas, helping her cope,.......

I've dreamed about a strong, kind man for the last 4 nights. He was clean shaven and had really rough hands which I love and believed in long, slow kisses that last forever. Where on earth is that coming from?????

5 comments:

laura said...

Lisa I know that someday she will know how much you love her. It will become as obvious to her as it is to all of us who know you and all you have been through. You are a fantastic lady with a heart bigger than the world. Please know and believe that.
Laura

Lisa said...

Thank you Laura! As always you are a mountain of support. I am so grateful for you!
Love, me

Alyssa's Mom said...

Lisa,
You have given me many wonderful tools to try and much inspiration. I am confident that one day, soon I hope, Jordan will be able to feel your love and be able to love you back. You are an awesome, inspiring, dedicated MOM!!! Jordan is very lucky to have you!

Gerri

Muppet Soul said...

((You know - I just realized I have never paid attention to your marital status.. But I just thought I'd say - to that last part - that even though I'm not a big nighttime dreamer, and mostly they are of the dancing pickle variety, I'm a big believer in pre-cog dreams. After I moved in with Bub, I actually found a diary I kept when I was nine when I had a dream about a guy who's name was - well, his first name, and a word that rhymes with our last. Crazy, eh?))

Muppet Soul said...

((PS - somehow my double parenthesis makes me feel like I'm speaking to you from the past. Muahahah))