Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Welcome back home.....

Last night I almost forgot to go to bed....well almost.... new MP3 player loaded with all my favorite music was blasting in my ears as I was dancing around my bathroom (the ONLY safe place for a person with no rythym and two left feet to perform) straightening my hair (no small feat for my unruly hair). U2's Beautiful Day, Crazy Town's Butterfly, Magnet's Lay Lady Lay, Shakira's Hips Don't Lie, Allman Bros Back Where it All Begins...all the songs that make me happy.... I showed myself that I could indeed multi-task and not flat-iron my ear plug wires (almost). There is hope for me yet.... :-)

Good thing I went to Serenity....
Monday, yesterday and today have been pure hell for Jessi (Mrs. Kacak) though. She is absolutely beside herself. Today was the worst. She left @ 11:30 after she had sent J to the respite room because she couldn't stand to be around her. J threw things at her, tried to lock herself in the bathroom, poised her pencil and threatened to throw it at her and told her that it WOULD kill her, kicked her several times, she ran all over the house, upstairs & down before finally going to the respite room. Chrissi is having her start writing her apology letter now. She has had to do one everyday this week and yesterday she had to do one for Chrissi too. Jessi has been having her hit her yucky pillow and draw her yuckies out but it hasn't worked this week. I knew she was really out of sorts this morning but it wasn't too bad. Sometimes when that happens she turns it around and has a really great day.

Thank God it's Wednesday so we can go to therapy. **heavy sigh** I'm so torn....I want to go home and deal with it but know that I need to wait until we meet at therapy @ 2.

God bless you Laura...thank you for your email....Hoping you don't mind but I'm posting part of it here so that I can read and re-read it to keep my spirits up. I've got to get some things off my desk before therapy but I'll get back with you later. Promise.

Laura's email:
For a long time now I have sat in the background and read and re-read your blog and I have to tell you, you are one of the most amazing people that has entered into my life in like forever. I admire you for your wonderful, beautiful positive attitude. You have inspired me, you have made me laugh, made me cry and gotten me through some pretty rough times. I have to say that I have been struggling with a lot of things lately and it always helps me to sit down and read your blog. Each and everytime I do I walk away with a whole different outlook on things and a new direction to which I want to head in my life. I need a Serenity weekend. One where I can go clear my head and find some direction in my life. But in the meantime I just keep being drawn back to you and your wonderful strength, positive attitude and wisdom. Lisa, please don't ever change and I want to thank you for everything. Laura

Hanging on till tomorrow for my massage. Keep breathing.....keep putting one foot in front of the other....This too shall pass.....One day at a time....(5 minutes at a time), tapping, affirmations....taking my mind back to last weekend....remembering I threw my running shoes in the bonfire last Saturday night....

Lisa's Gratitude:
1. Beautiful acid green trees surrounding me at work & home (I'm blessed to work & live in forests)
2. Stinker for a daughter
3. Boat will be arriving 3 weeks ahead of time
4. Amazing Grace by Blind Boys of Alabama (thanks Priscilla) played to House of the Rising Sun
5. I'm not the recipient of J's anger

J's Gratitude:
She refused to do it last night....maybe this is part of the problem....


Alyssa's Mom said...

Just remember 2 steps forward, 3 steps back....

And still, forward progress has been made!

This too shall pass.


Lauri said...

Just popping in to give you my support as well. I too am in awe of you.. so glad you enjoyed your getaway.. you deserved that time to recharge & refresh

Lisa said...

Thank you so much Gerri. As always you are a pillar of strength for me.
You are an awesome Mom!!!

Lisa said...

You are so kind Lauri....most days I feel like I'm a dog chasing my tail because we have so much going on. I'm just trying to get everything in that I can. I never know what's going to work and I'm a firm believer that Radishes need many interventions to help them heal. It's the spaghetti approach...throw it all up on the wall and see what sticks...
You are a fabulous mom! I am learning so much by listening to all the awesome moms!