Last night was my evening out with Cindy. Twilight.... The scenery was breathtakingly stunning. The characters were good. The jawline on the love scenes with Edward... Oh My Goodness.... Stopping the van with his bare hands....yummy. ♥♥♥♥
I am glad I didn't re-read the book right before the movie. That helped to not interfere with the movie in my head. Now I have both. I think it's necessary to read the book before seeing the movie so that you don't miss anything. Trying to squeeze a 498 page book into 2 hours is almost impossible but they did a pretty good job.
I was a little disappointed with the excess of white makeup and lipstick at the beginning of the movie, but that seemed to either get better in the movie or maybe I tuned some of it out and got used to it. Not sure which.
It would have really helped if the really loud lady, 2 rows behind us, could have toned down some of her laughing. She was REALLY loud and obnxious which made it hard to concentrate.
One reason I loved the book is that I love the tall, strong, silent and unbelievably controlled type. Edward delivers.... Sorry Kristina....;-) ...I'll be waiting on the snarky comments. ♥
Lauri did a much better review.
Very nice to have a brief escape from a radical world. Time with Cindy... Priceless! ♥ Best present ever!
Can you tell I learned a new trick.... Thanks to Trying To Be Calm....
P.S. J did excellent at Papa's & Monya's. She had a great time and it was one more instance of her knowing that I did indeed come back for her.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Astounded!
Y'all have given such great suggestions! I am impressed but better than that I am going to actually DO them. Never even thought about power strips or unplugging my computer. I have run around the house all evening double-checking everything and trying to implement everything I can. I've been in love with CFL's for several years and certainly worth the money. The kitchen and breakfast room are the only rooms to go because the ceiling is 15ft and the canned lights are just a little out of my reach. Need another adult around to help change those out.
Coupon suzy dot com is a new friend. Going to call the electric company in the morning. Change of plans on dinner tonight. Bodie Beans (pinto beans) and cornbread. Huge pot of pintos with garlic, onion and habanero pepper. My stars! They rocked the house! Later there will probably be a literal rocking of the house but they were so worth it! Especially since J had 3 bowls! Thanks Cindy! I cleaned the coils under the fridge and freezer so that should help some too. It was scary under there!
We are really doing well here considering. Keep the ideas coming because they are being put to good use. J is doing really well in school. She's moved through 77 lessons in math in 2 weeks. Hoping I can keep up!
Tomorrow I have a date with my other daughter, Cindy. She's taking me to dinner and a movie as a Christmas present. I am so excited for the opportunity to spend time with her. She's a blast! J is going to go stay with my mom and actually sleep there for a bit. I'll get home after her bedtime so we're doing a tester to see how it goes. This will be the first time sleeping at my parent's. I've promised her that she will wake up in her bed. She's excited to go to Monya's but wanted to make sure that she would be at home with me when she wakes up Saturday morning.
Queen K, I am with Torina, never read anything by you until you have an empty mouth and bladder. Of course, Torina is just about as dangerous. Gerri's private emails are lethal. I'll be on my deathbed remembering white pants and W*lmart. :-)
Please keep my friend, Gerri, on your list. She can use all the positive thoughts she can get right now.
P.S. I stink at commenting lately. Sorry about that. I'll get my act together shortly. Still trying to figure out scheduling, school time, me time, mom time, etc.
Coupon suzy dot com is a new friend. Going to call the electric company in the morning. Change of plans on dinner tonight. Bodie Beans (pinto beans) and cornbread. Huge pot of pintos with garlic, onion and habanero pepper. My stars! They rocked the house! Later there will probably be a literal rocking of the house but they were so worth it! Especially since J had 3 bowls! Thanks Cindy! I cleaned the coils under the fridge and freezer so that should help some too. It was scary under there!
We are really doing well here considering. Keep the ideas coming because they are being put to good use. J is doing really well in school. She's moved through 77 lessons in math in 2 weeks. Hoping I can keep up!
Tomorrow I have a date with my other daughter, Cindy. She's taking me to dinner and a movie as a Christmas present. I am so excited for the opportunity to spend time with her. She's a blast! J is going to go stay with my mom and actually sleep there for a bit. I'll get home after her bedtime so we're doing a tester to see how it goes. This will be the first time sleeping at my parent's. I've promised her that she will wake up in her bed. She's excited to go to Monya's but wanted to make sure that she would be at home with me when she wakes up Saturday morning.
Queen K, I am with Torina, never read anything by you until you have an empty mouth and bladder. Of course, Torina is just about as dangerous. Gerri's private emails are lethal. I'll be on my deathbed remembering white pants and W*lmart. :-)
Please keep my friend, Gerri, on your list. She can use all the positive thoughts she can get right now.
P.S. I stink at commenting lately. Sorry about that. I'll get my act together shortly. Still trying to figure out scheduling, school time, me time, mom time, etc.
Settling In
Things are improving and we're getting on a schedule. J worked hard in therapy yesterday and showed a lot of self-restraint and self-regulating. The AT & I were very impressed.
Thanks to everyone for your emails & comments of concern and suggestions. We are finding many ways to save and going back to many things that my grandmother taught me that she learned during the Depression. It is really turning out to be quite the adventure and we are looking at it as an adventure rather than a punishment. It's all in the attitude.
It is a little scary to think about no insurance but a single mom with no income equals no insurance. It's amazing how dependent I've become on that security blanket but truth be told there's probably more people uninsured today rather than insured and they're getting by and so will we. The comforting thing is that we won't be out of the house more than one day a week so that will drastically reduce the chances of getting a cold or flu.
Some of our cost cutting adventures have included:
1. Reading bedtime stories by candlelight. I highly recommend it!
2. Incorporating more board games played by candlelight are extra special. Fun!
3. Reusing coffee grounds.
4. Baths by candlelight (who wouldn't love this?!)
5. Soup beans (a/k/a Great Northern) and cornbread (dinner for less than $1.00) Bringing back wonderful memories of my grandmother.
Tonight...cornmeal gravy. Yummy!
Do you have and favorite/fun ways to save????
Thanks to everyone for your emails & comments of concern and suggestions. We are finding many ways to save and going back to many things that my grandmother taught me that she learned during the Depression. It is really turning out to be quite the adventure and we are looking at it as an adventure rather than a punishment. It's all in the attitude.
It is a little scary to think about no insurance but a single mom with no income equals no insurance. It's amazing how dependent I've become on that security blanket but truth be told there's probably more people uninsured today rather than insured and they're getting by and so will we. The comforting thing is that we won't be out of the house more than one day a week so that will drastically reduce the chances of getting a cold or flu.
Some of our cost cutting adventures have included:
1. Reading bedtime stories by candlelight. I highly recommend it!
2. Incorporating more board games played by candlelight are extra special. Fun!
3. Reusing coffee grounds.
4. Baths by candlelight (who wouldn't love this?!)
5. Soup beans (a/k/a Great Northern) and cornbread (dinner for less than $1.00) Bringing back wonderful memories of my grandmother.
Tonight...cornmeal gravy. Yummy!
Do you have and favorite/fun ways to save????
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
New Career - Revised
I no longer have a job so starting today I am officially a SAHM, home educator, OT, speech therapist and domestic diva. We'll see how it goes. At the moment I'm putting school on the back burner until I can get all my possessions listed on eb*y. If anybody has any tips for using eb*ay I would be so grateful if you would share. I am totally lost.
I've cut my blogger reader down to 49 *gasp* feeds. Thinking I'm about to start hyperventilating. Trying to figure out how to manage time and a manageable schedule. Still going to get up at 5:45 to start my day and get J up at the usual time. Before school we're going to take a power walk. Going to have to be more diligent with exercise since I won't have health insurance and will need to keep my blood pressure down without meds.
I've cut off every single thing that I possibly can. We've come up with a plan to cut down utilities by cutting water usage (you don't want to know), going vegetarian, not using lights unless it is absolutely dark, no all night Mozart or night lights for J. One trip to town a week for therapy, grocery shopping, bill paying, etc. will cut my gas bill down considerably. Lowered the heat from 68 to 62 and added more blankets and clothes. The land line is turned off. J's insurance has been cancelled too. Managed to get some house/car insurance lowered. We have very little trash so the trash man has been discontinued. Not sure what I'm going to do with the little bit of trash that we do have but it might involve camouflage. Aren't you glad you don't live close to me???
I am scared and excited at the same time. Hoping my name doesn't become Loose Lisa. Torina that is a much better suggestion than mine. ;-0
I've cut my blogger reader down to 49 *gasp* feeds. Thinking I'm about to start hyperventilating. Trying to figure out how to manage time and a manageable schedule. Still going to get up at 5:45 to start my day and get J up at the usual time. Before school we're going to take a power walk. Going to have to be more diligent with exercise since I won't have health insurance and will need to keep my blood pressure down without meds.
I've cut off every single thing that I possibly can. We've come up with a plan to cut down utilities by cutting water usage (you don't want to know), going vegetarian, not using lights unless it is absolutely dark, no all night Mozart or night lights for J. One trip to town a week for therapy, grocery shopping, bill paying, etc. will cut my gas bill down considerably. Lowered the heat from 68 to 62 and added more blankets and clothes. The land line is turned off. J's insurance has been cancelled too. Managed to get some house/car insurance lowered. We have very little trash so the trash man has been discontinued. Not sure what I'm going to do with the little bit of trash that we do have but it might involve camouflage. Aren't you glad you don't live close to me???
I am scared and excited at the same time. Hoping my name doesn't become Loose Lisa. Torina that is a much better suggestion than mine. ;-0
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Hmmmm...
Just in case you think you're going to be bored without all the drama, I'll let you in on a little secret. J has been "ill". I don't know about in other parts of the country but in the south that means sick sometimes and at other times it means grumpy. For J it is the latter. Not really RAD stuff just cantankerous. Like a little old woman. She seems to be really tired. A lot. She's had a nap almost every day because she wants one. This afternoon she had a nap and was ready to go to bed at 6:15.
She's not running a fever or complaining about anything. She's just really sleepy. She told me today that getting rid of the yuckies made her really tired. We'll see what tomorrow brings.....
She's not running a fever or complaining about anything. She's just really sleepy. She told me today that getting rid of the yuckies made her really tired. We'll see what tomorrow brings.....
I'm on a roll now...
Dang Sheri! You are a stinker! ;-)
THE RULES:
Post your list of the seven best albums, the seven bloggers you will tag, a copy of these rules, and a link back to this page.
Each person tagged will put a URL to their Blogger Album Project post along with a list of the seven best albums in the comment section HERE.
Feel free to post the “I Contributed to the Blogger Album Project” Award Graphic on your sidebar, along with a link back to this page.
Post a link back to the blogger who tagged you
My seven (or so):
1. Allman Brothers - Where It All Begins
2. Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet (25 years later & I still think he's hot.)
3. Fleetwood Mac - Rumours
4. Aerosmith - (Any & all)
5. Lenny Kravitz - 5
6. Mary Chapin-Carpenter - Come On Come On
7. Tom Petty - Anthology
I know you're supposed to stop at 7. Rule breaker yet again.
8. U2 - Achtung Baby
9. Lynrd Skynrd (I am from the south folks - I don't want to get kicked out. ;-)
10. Alison Kraus - A Hundred Miles or More
11. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brickroad
12. Usher - Here I Stand
Friday, November 14, 2008
Attached at the Hip
Another great day down. J has been a little antsy since it's raining outside but otherwise has done great. She's been very tired though and took a nap this afternoon. We are attached at the hip. She's goes e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. I go. She seems to be responding well to this and hasn't tried to push me away in over a week now. No fits. No meltdowns. Regular little kid stuff but not much RAD stuff going on. Oh how I love regular little kid stuff!!!!
Her announcement to me this morning, "mom, I don't need the yuckies anymore." I decided to change and I changed." Hmmmm.....
When J was cleaning out her toy box yesterday she found some unused glow sticks. (I am shocked.) So I am going to try the glow stick in the bath tub trick that I learned about from a commenter on Jillene's blog. (Just cut off the lights and throw the charged glow stick in the tub.)J's not scared of taking a bath but I thought it'd be really cool and I always love to be the "cool" mom. Heck! It sounds like enough fun that I might even try it!
We made a huge pot of mashed potatoes and put 15 packages in the freezer. So for dinner we had mashed potatoes, butter peas, creamed spinach and Old Bay sauteed shrimp. Strange combination but yum it was good! Tomorrow we're making a mushroom and sausage breakfast casserole to freeze.
Her announcement to me this morning, "mom, I don't need the yuckies anymore." I decided to change and I changed." Hmmmm.....
When J was cleaning out her toy box yesterday she found some unused glow sticks. (I am shocked.) So I am going to try the glow stick in the bath tub trick that I learned about from a commenter on Jillene's blog. (Just cut off the lights and throw the charged glow stick in the tub.)J's not scared of taking a bath but I thought it'd be really cool and I always love to be the "cool" mom. Heck! It sounds like enough fun that I might even try it!
We made a huge pot of mashed potatoes and put 15 packages in the freezer. So for dinner we had mashed potatoes, butter peas, creamed spinach and Old Bay sauteed shrimp. Strange combination but yum it was good! Tomorrow we're making a mushroom and sausage breakfast casserole to freeze.
Tagged
I am "it". I have never been "it" before in the blogging world. Hmmmmm.....Faerie Mama tagged me.
Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules.
2. Share seven random or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post with their links.
4. Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
I usually not a rule follower. I'm the girl that pushes the rules but I promise to follow these.
1. I, like The Pioneer Woman, pick my toenails. I am so glad she admitted that because that was my closet secret. Now, since I am in such good company, I step out without shame. (Well...maybe a little.)
2. I suck at romantic relationships. Yet another reason I won't marry him. If G didn't have the patience of a saint we would have ended years ago. I do have great, meaningful friendships and wonderful relationships with my family. (Remember this bit of information for when you get to #5)
3. I want to be a SAHM. So much. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would REALLY want to do this. I know it would be much better for J but I am still trying to figure out the financial end.
4. I give Reiki to plants, trees and Puddin. (For those that don't know...Reiki is not a type of religion nor does it have a dogma.)
5. I have RAD. (Remember there's a spectrum folks.)
6. I still pick up stray animals, fix them up and find them homes. Don't go to lunch with me because we will likely have a critter dining with us that I have picked up on the way to lunch.
7. I want to adopt again.
Ok...here's the lucky folks I have tagged:
I would tag Tudu but she's a little busy at the moment so I'll let her off the hook.
1. Brenda, cause she's always has it so together. Brenda, do you have any secrets?
2. Gerri because she's been hanging out with me for a really long time (pre-blog) and she's stuck with me through thick and thin. She's a fabulous mom and she cracks me up.
3. Kelly because she is always so supportive and I have so enjoyed watching her journey of becoming a foster mom.
4. Karissa because she is so honest and genuine.
5. Mary (a/k/a Squeaker). She, like Gerri, has been with me a long time and knows all the in's and out's of the ups and downs. Stuck with me like glue and I am very grateful for her.
6. Linda B - The things she manages is just astonishing to me.
7. Sasha - She's interesting and funny.
8. Sheri - Scared she might leave me now that I've tagged her but I've been stalking her for a while. She cracks me up and makes me think. Yes...I know it's supposed to be 7 but I warned you that I'm a rule breaker. ;-)
Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules.
2. Share seven random or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post with their links.
4. Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
I usually not a rule follower. I'm the girl that pushes the rules but I promise to follow these.
1. I, like The Pioneer Woman, pick my toenails. I am so glad she admitted that because that was my closet secret. Now, since I am in such good company, I step out without shame. (Well...maybe a little.)
2. I suck at romantic relationships. Yet another reason I won't marry him. If G didn't have the patience of a saint we would have ended years ago. I do have great, meaningful friendships and wonderful relationships with my family. (Remember this bit of information for when you get to #5)
3. I want to be a SAHM. So much. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would REALLY want to do this. I know it would be much better for J but I am still trying to figure out the financial end.
4. I give Reiki to plants, trees and Puddin. (For those that don't know...Reiki is not a type of religion nor does it have a dogma.)
5. I have RAD. (Remember there's a spectrum folks.)
6. I still pick up stray animals, fix them up and find them homes. Don't go to lunch with me because we will likely have a critter dining with us that I have picked up on the way to lunch.
7. I want to adopt again.
Ok...here's the lucky folks I have tagged:
I would tag Tudu but she's a little busy at the moment so I'll let her off the hook.
1. Brenda, cause she's always has it so together. Brenda, do you have any secrets?
2. Gerri because she's been hanging out with me for a really long time (pre-blog) and she's stuck with me through thick and thin. She's a fabulous mom and she cracks me up.
3. Kelly because she is always so supportive and I have so enjoyed watching her journey of becoming a foster mom.
4. Karissa because she is so honest and genuine.
5. Mary (a/k/a Squeaker). She, like Gerri, has been with me a long time and knows all the in's and out's of the ups and downs. Stuck with me like glue and I am very grateful for her.
6. Linda B - The things she manages is just astonishing to me.
7. Sasha - She's interesting and funny.
8. Sheri - Scared she might leave me now that I've tagged her but I've been stalking her for a while. She cracks me up and makes me think. Yes...I know it's supposed to be 7 but I warned you that I'm a rule breaker. ;-)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
More positives
We did very little school today. J & I cleaned house, lazed around, played and in general had a great time. She has been soooo much fun to be around! This morning I gave her a sheet of adjectives and asked her to circle each one that she thought described herself. There was an assortment of words. She chose: Thoughtful, kind, respectful, loving, hopeful, sweet, fun, smart, focused, peaceful, relaxed and safe.
Tonight she fell asleep in my arms. Y'all this has only happened once before. Huge!
Tonight she fell asleep in my arms. Y'all this has only happened once before. Huge!
Major Changes
We've had a monumental change in our home. I can't go into details so you'll just have to trust me, but something major has happened and things are really improving here.
What a joy it has been parenting Jordan today!!! She is a totally different kid. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. She is much softer, able to be redirected, more loving, kinder, and her facial features and expressions are totally different.
Have I mentioned it has been so much fun to be a parent today!!!!???? I am staying at home this week to help her recover and we've been doing school. In 2 days she has done over 40 lessons of math, 16 Language Arts and 4 History lessons!!!!! Not a complaint or whine in sight. She has been very enthusiastic about learning!
Puddin snuggled up in bed with her tonight (I was there too) and we all
snuggled for 10-15 minutes or so. She has treated Puddin like a china doll all day.
She was a little sad about the yuckies leaving and we talked about it. I have a lot of onyx in her room to help with grief. Ashley asked me if I have amethyst in her room. Yes I do, plus some others, carnelian, citrine, etc. (Ashley, I tried to check out your blog and I can't get in. *Whine*) We talked about what was different in her life now that the yuckies had left, what was the same, etc.
After Jordan went to sleep I went in to do Reiki. Puddin decided to join me. Puddin stayed on the bed while I was working on J. Afterwards I couldn't get Puddin to come out of J's bedroom. She has never stayed in the same room alone with J! Finally I gave up and let her stay for about an hour and went back to get her. She still wouldn't come out of her room! I had to pick her up and carry her out.
Yeah for all of us! It's a monumental day!!!!
This morning I asked her what was the word she would use to describe herself and she said, "kind". Woo hoo for J!
It's not just me that has noticed this major change. This is a note from her AT:
"It was a joy to work with Jordan today. What a difference! She was so focused and ready to
face her issues. Having the big yucky leave is HUGE for her and all of
us who know and love her. Looking forward to next week."
She also said if this major change continues, she sees J being able to come off meds by our 12/1/08 psychiatrist appt.
My cup is running over with gratitude! Thanks to Chris and Kristy for hanging in there with us even though it was really scary sometimes.
What a joy it has been parenting Jordan today!!! She is a totally different kid. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. She is much softer, able to be redirected, more loving, kinder, and her facial features and expressions are totally different.
Have I mentioned it has been so much fun to be a parent today!!!!???? I am staying at home this week to help her recover and we've been doing school. In 2 days she has done over 40 lessons of math, 16 Language Arts and 4 History lessons!!!!! Not a complaint or whine in sight. She has been very enthusiastic about learning!
Puddin snuggled up in bed with her tonight (I was there too) and we all
snuggled for 10-15 minutes or so. She has treated Puddin like a china doll all day.
She was a little sad about the yuckies leaving and we talked about it. I have a lot of onyx in her room to help with grief. Ashley asked me if I have amethyst in her room. Yes I do, plus some others, carnelian, citrine, etc. (Ashley, I tried to check out your blog and I can't get in. *Whine*) We talked about what was different in her life now that the yuckies had left, what was the same, etc.
After Jordan went to sleep I went in to do Reiki. Puddin decided to join me. Puddin stayed on the bed while I was working on J. Afterwards I couldn't get Puddin to come out of J's bedroom. She has never stayed in the same room alone with J! Finally I gave up and let her stay for about an hour and went back to get her. She still wouldn't come out of her room! I had to pick her up and carry her out.
Yeah for all of us! It's a monumental day!!!!
This morning I asked her what was the word she would use to describe herself and she said, "kind". Woo hoo for J!
It's not just me that has noticed this major change. This is a note from her AT:
"It was a joy to work with Jordan today. What a difference! She was so focused and ready to
face her issues. Having the big yucky leave is HUGE for her and all of
us who know and love her. Looking forward to next week."
She also said if this major change continues, she sees J being able to come off meds by our 12/1/08 psychiatrist appt.
My cup is running over with gratitude! Thanks to Chris and Kristy for hanging in there with us even though it was really scary sometimes.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Playing Hooky
J had an appt. with her psychiatrist this morning. This is an all day event as it 1 1/2 hours each way, plus the time in the waiting room, etc. Since I had only started J on the Abilify last Friday night there was no sense in going to the appointment. I had already scheduled the time off from work so I played hooky and stayed at home with J.
8 days of math lessons, 3 history lessons and 4 days of Language Arts were accomplished. 5 assessments that were all graded at 100%. No power struggles, meltdowns or bad attitudes. Yeah! It might never happen again but I sure did enjoy today.
Any ideas how a single mom can make a living at home?
8 days of math lessons, 3 history lessons and 4 days of Language Arts were accomplished. 5 assessments that were all graded at 100%. No power struggles, meltdowns or bad attitudes. Yeah! It might never happen again but I sure did enjoy today.
Any ideas how a single mom can make a living at home?
Friday, November 7, 2008
Really nice days
It was so great to be a accepted as a loving, caring mom. I reveled in every blessed moment. The great thing is J did too. She did great over the weekend. Saturday she was still sick and slept most of the day.
Saturday night the birthday fairy flew into her room and delivered balloons, chocolate and a birthday card. This morning we kept it really low key no big birthday party but she had chocolate brownies for breakfast, opened her Air Kicks and started practicing with them. Brunch at the Dillard House. J didn't eat a lot as her stomach still wasn't feeling 100%. She wouldn't admit to still feeling bad until I promised her she could still go up to the farm zoo and pet the alpacas, miniature goats, horses and such.
We stopped on the way home to see Big Mama (G's mother) for about 10 minutes then home where she opened her baby doll, crib and bottles. She was over the moon! While she was playing in her room she took a nap much to the surprise of both of us.
A great weekend was had by all!
Saturday night the birthday fairy flew into her room and delivered balloons, chocolate and a birthday card. This morning we kept it really low key no big birthday party but she had chocolate brownies for breakfast, opened her Air Kicks and started practicing with them. Brunch at the Dillard House. J didn't eat a lot as her stomach still wasn't feeling 100%. She wouldn't admit to still feeling bad until I promised her she could still go up to the farm zoo and pet the alpacas, miniature goats, horses and such.
We stopped on the way home to see Big Mama (G's mother) for about 10 minutes then home where she opened her baby doll, crib and bottles. She was over the moon! While she was playing in her room she took a nap much to the surprise of both of us.
A great weekend was had by all!
Quick update
Short and sweet post:
Great news! J is sick. The first time that I have known that she is sick. Honestly. If she has ever been sick it would've had to have been something I wouldn't notice. I've always heard that most radical kids don't get sick much for some strange reason. I'm taking this as a strong sign that she is healing emotionally. #1 She trusted me enough to tell me and #2 Her defenses were down enough to allow a germ in.
So my sweet baby has a sore throat, fever, stuffy nose, achy muscles, nauseous, headache, etc. And I'm having the best time showing her lots of extra TLC, homemade chicken soup, etc. She's allowing it to happen, accepting and responsive to it. Yeah for my kid!!!
Bless her sweet little heart...
Great news! J is sick. The first time that I have known that she is sick. Honestly. If she has ever been sick it would've had to have been something I wouldn't notice. I've always heard that most radical kids don't get sick much for some strange reason. I'm taking this as a strong sign that she is healing emotionally. #1 She trusted me enough to tell me and #2 Her defenses were down enough to allow a germ in.
So my sweet baby has a sore throat, fever, stuffy nose, achy muscles, nauseous, headache, etc. And I'm having the best time showing her lots of extra TLC, homemade chicken soup, etc. She's allowing it to happen, accepting and responsive to it. Yeah for my kid!!!
Bless her sweet little heart...
Monday, November 3, 2008
Vote
I am tired of politics and refrain from posting about them here. I went to vote last Friday. Actually I went last Monday too but the line was 1 1/2 hours long so I decided to try another day.
Then yesterday I read this post on FaerieMama's blog. Doesn't matter which side you're voting for it's a great read. I love reading about hope.
Which ever side you're on...just remember to go vote.
Then yesterday I read this post on FaerieMama's blog. Doesn't matter which side you're voting for it's a great read. I love reading about hope.
Which ever side you're on...just remember to go vote.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Cause you asked...
Twilight....oh how I loved the Twilight series. You on the other hand might hate Twilight. Kristina is not a fan. Yet, she's the reason I read them. I had never heard of them but I was stalking Kristina and read her review and then I saw her little avatar or whatever you call that thingy. Perusing a book store (one of my favorite places to hang out) one day I picked up a copy and read the little jacket. Hmmm.... I put it down because I didn't want to read about vampires. It was too scary. More perusing....then I went back and picked it up, marched myself up to the counter and paid good money for the "scary" book.
Early riser that I am I started reading it before everyone else got up. 50 pages in and I was committed. 100 pages in and I couldn't stop. 200 pages and I was reading while I was cooking dinner. That was a little scary in itself. Before I went to sleep that night I was finished with all 500 pages. 10 days later I had read the entire series.
If you're looking for a scary book, this is not it. If you're looking for trashy romance this is not it. It's all nice and clean and stuff, not even any foul language. But it drew me in and kept me hanging on every word. BTW: They're very nice vampires.
Then I found out it was written for teenage girls. And 29 y/o girls (I wish). Yup I love a teenage secret romance book.
I was going to give the set to my other kid who's 27 (and a Language Arts teacher at an alternative school and yep...I'm still 29). So I casually mentioned it to her in an effort to fish. She's read the whole thing and loved it. She is a very discriminating and voracious reader. (There went that Christmas idea.) So now we have a date for the movie in November. Usually I don't like to watch the movie after I've read the book because it just spoils it for me. The movie in my head is usually so much better. But I'll never turn down a date with my oldest. She's the bomb!
First I loaned it to our AT who thought it was just silly. The next night she called to tell me to hurry up she was almost ready for the next book. Then I brought it to work and got all my employees hooked on it. Then I loaned it to Connie and she was rushing my co-workers to hurry up so she could have the next book. It was a real book chasing event around here for a while as everyone was tapping their fingers impatiently waiting on the next book. Now my mom has started it. Luckily no one else is reading it at the moment so the book chasing is over for the moment.
I thought the only reason I liked it was because I had only read therapeutic parenting books, cd's, etc for the last 2+ years. Evidently not so since it has really been making it's rounds around here.
I am loving that little gun totin/cigar smokin/angel pup avatar up there. That is just the cutest thing ever Tracee. How do you get those things????
Still working down my list and Torina's chicken rocked the house.
Early riser that I am I started reading it before everyone else got up. 50 pages in and I was committed. 100 pages in and I couldn't stop. 200 pages and I was reading while I was cooking dinner. That was a little scary in itself. Before I went to sleep that night I was finished with all 500 pages. 10 days later I had read the entire series.
If you're looking for a scary book, this is not it. If you're looking for trashy romance this is not it. It's all nice and clean and stuff, not even any foul language. But it drew me in and kept me hanging on every word. BTW: They're very nice vampires.
Then I found out it was written for teenage girls. And 29 y/o girls (I wish). Yup I love a teenage secret romance book.
I was going to give the set to my other kid who's 27 (and a Language Arts teacher at an alternative school and yep...I'm still 29). So I casually mentioned it to her in an effort to fish. She's read the whole thing and loved it. She is a very discriminating and voracious reader. (There went that Christmas idea.) So now we have a date for the movie in November. Usually I don't like to watch the movie after I've read the book because it just spoils it for me. The movie in my head is usually so much better. But I'll never turn down a date with my oldest. She's the bomb!
First I loaned it to our AT who thought it was just silly. The next night she called to tell me to hurry up she was almost ready for the next book. Then I brought it to work and got all my employees hooked on it. Then I loaned it to Connie and she was rushing my co-workers to hurry up so she could have the next book. It was a real book chasing event around here for a while as everyone was tapping their fingers impatiently waiting on the next book. Now my mom has started it. Luckily no one else is reading it at the moment so the book chasing is over for the moment.
I thought the only reason I liked it was because I had only read therapeutic parenting books, cd's, etc for the last 2+ years. Evidently not so since it has really been making it's rounds around here.
Nah...don't read it...you won't like it......don't waste your time. Boring.
I am loving that little gun totin/cigar smokin/angel pup avatar up there. That is just the cutest thing ever Tracee. How do you get those things????
Still working down my list and Torina's chicken rocked the house.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Whew!
Cindy's back. I was so worried about her. She is as faithful as the sun rising in the east about blogging every day so when she doesn't show up it makes me worry. Please include this family in your thoughts.
Thanks to all of you I have many new things to try this weekend for the recharging of mom batteries. Tonight it is Saffron Chicken thanks to Torina.
Manicure at lunch today. Heavenly.
After saffron chicken it will be a salt/soda bath. 1lb of sea salt and 1lb of baking soda (p.s. if you do this at home you need to dissolve the salt in hot water before pouring in the tub, then dissolve the soda in hot water and pour in the tub. It cools the water off too much if you don't mix before and if you mix them together to try to dissolve they have a chemical reaction and the salt won't dissolve. I learned this the hard way). Then I'll be all relaxed and will sleep like a baby.
Tomorrow I'm having a girl night out with my friend Connie. Yahoo! No kid talk allowed!
Once upon a mattress book for the weekend. I sure do hate that I finished the Twilight series. Dang it.
A walk in the woods around the house. There's a little waterfall at the bottom of my property that I need to go visit.
Going to commit a random act of kindness for someone and I think I know who it is and what I'm going to do. I'm just in the plotting stages now.
Catch up on the DVR list. Dr. McDreamy, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters here I come.
Some time or another I'm going to watch P.S. I Love You or August Rush again because I think I need a good cry. FaerieMama made me cry with her comment last night and really touched me. Maybe I'll feel better and have some stress relief if I just let it all hang out. I hate crying because I am a really ugly crier. Yuck! Puffy eyes, can't breathe, can't see for 2 days kind of crier. Double yuck! On the other hand I've been having chest pains lately so maybe this will stop them too. Much rather cry than have a heart attack.
Some time I've got to implement # 3 on Gerri's list. Wait this is about my batteries. Next week I'll work on that.
Y'all are the best! If you think of other self-care things please let me know. I'm keeping all of them and putting them on the fridge so that I'll remember to actually do them before I go splat!
Thanks to all of you I have many new things to try this weekend for the recharging of mom batteries. Tonight it is Saffron Chicken thanks to Torina.
Manicure at lunch today. Heavenly.
After saffron chicken it will be a salt/soda bath. 1lb of sea salt and 1lb of baking soda (p.s. if you do this at home you need to dissolve the salt in hot water before pouring in the tub, then dissolve the soda in hot water and pour in the tub. It cools the water off too much if you don't mix before and if you mix them together to try to dissolve they have a chemical reaction and the salt won't dissolve. I learned this the hard way). Then I'll be all relaxed and will sleep like a baby.
Tomorrow I'm having a girl night out with my friend Connie. Yahoo! No kid talk allowed!
Once upon a mattress book for the weekend. I sure do hate that I finished the Twilight series. Dang it.
A walk in the woods around the house. There's a little waterfall at the bottom of my property that I need to go visit.
Going to commit a random act of kindness for someone and I think I know who it is and what I'm going to do. I'm just in the plotting stages now.
Catch up on the DVR list. Dr. McDreamy, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters here I come.
Some time or another I'm going to watch P.S. I Love You or August Rush again because I think I need a good cry. FaerieMama made me cry with her comment last night and really touched me. Maybe I'll feel better and have some stress relief if I just let it all hang out. I hate crying because I am a really ugly crier. Yuck! Puffy eyes, can't breathe, can't see for 2 days kind of crier. Double yuck! On the other hand I've been having chest pains lately so maybe this will stop them too. Much rather cry than have a heart attack.
Some time I've got to implement # 3 on Gerri's list. Wait this is about my batteries. Next week I'll work on that.
Y'all are the best! If you think of other self-care things please let me know. I'm keeping all of them and putting them on the fridge so that I'll remember to actually do them before I go splat!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Positive Mom
Positive mom is back. Going to try to keep her here.
I was the recipient of the most wonderful backrub last night from a random act of kindness committed by J. Now I've got to put up the board for the scavenger hunt posted by Brenda. What a great idea! Perhaps Jessi could do one too.
Last night my "new" (2 y/o) fabulous laptop decided to poop out on me. All those times I said I was going to back up and didn't....I think I'm going to pay for that. =(
Made it through a funeral yesterday by staring at a picture of Puddin to keep me from crying. Afraid if I started it might never stop. Don't have time for that right now. Started a list of all the nice things I'm going to do for myself over the weekend to recover from emotional fatigue.
What are some of the things you do to take care of yourself? I could use some help on my list please.
Tracee, if you will please comment again I'll email you some info.
Have a blessed day!
I was the recipient of the most wonderful backrub last night from a random act of kindness committed by J. Now I've got to put up the board for the scavenger hunt posted by Brenda. What a great idea! Perhaps Jessi could do one too.
Last night my "new" (2 y/o) fabulous laptop decided to poop out on me. All those times I said I was going to back up and didn't....I think I'm going to pay for that. =(
Made it through a funeral yesterday by staring at a picture of Puddin to keep me from crying. Afraid if I started it might never stop. Don't have time for that right now. Started a list of all the nice things I'm going to do for myself over the weekend to recover from emotional fatigue.
What are some of the things you do to take care of yourself? I could use some help on my list please.
Tracee, if you will please comment again I'll email you some info.
Have a blessed day!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Who knew it would be so hard to revise
I deleted the other post and put the revised version here.
I must be feeling a little sensitive today. Isn't it amazing that you can get 10 positives and one negative can just suck the life out of you. It's like all I can hear in my head. Blech!
It's so easy to judge a mess of words on a page. It's easy to judge anyone or anything if you don't live with it. No matter how much we try to show the big picture it doesn't work. You have to live and breathe it 24/7 to get it. Believe it or not I don't share everything here. I can't blog about half the behaviors because I am not ok with sharing this information. Besides I'm not near as eloquent or funny as all you dear cyber friends and I have never once claimed to be a great communicator. I would say that I wish you could get inside my head but I think you'd just get dizzy in the swirling mess. I know I do.
There is a distinct severity level to J's RAD not to mention all the traumas and the moves and all the families that couldn't live with her behaviors. There is a spectrum to RAD. Helen Keller is on one end of the spectrum, then there's lots of middle ground, on the other end is Ted B*ndy, Jeffrey Dahm*r, etc.. Unfortunately J is on the far end. I knew this before I got her. Her s/w and GAL deemed her a seri*l killer at 3. Evaluations by psychologists and psychiatrists printed it out in black and white. They wanted to move her into a RTC and to consider her unadoptable. I saw hope and begged for her. I admit there was some whining in there too. ;-)
The rules are always the same and have been the same for 2 years and 5 days. Consequences on the other hand change constantly. What works today probably won't work tomorrow. It's just a fact. For instance, this morning I gave her a small stuffed mouse that I filled up with my pink love to use as a transition piece. During the day when she's with her homeschool teacher if she misses me all she has to do is hold the mouse and she can feel my love. This is done hoping she will transition better with her teacher today instead of torturing her, trying to kill her, etc. Will it work today? It has so far. Will it work tomorrow. Very doubtful. This afternoon if she is self-mutilating again I will tell her to run along to the bathroom and pick to her hearts content for 5 minutes. She will quit self-mutilating for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow I will have to come up with something different because it won't work anymore. Tomorrow I will re-invent the wheel because that's what RAD moms do. Every. Day.
My expectations have changed. I really thought lots of bonding, therapy, therapeutic parenting and tons of love would make all this anger dissipate and she would be just a normal little girl. I have lowered my expectations but my hopes are still high.
We have had 3 different RAD specialized therapists say that we need an in-home, full-time therapist living with us. J still sleeps with an alarm on her door, Puddin & I sleep behind double locked doors.
28 homes before age 5 and the longest she ever made it was 9 months. These were all 2 parent homes. Most homes couldn't sustain the abuse for more than 2 months. One home couldn't take it after 24 hours. She was 3 at that time. She has been subjected to traumas that would bring seasoned adults to their knees in a quivering mess. She is a fighter. She had to be. Every day existence was life or death. Literally in every sense of the word.
Tonight I watched last week's episode of ER. Part of the storyline was about a little girl who tried to kill her sister. It was amazingly and fearfully familiar.
Don't get me wrong...there has been a vast amount of improvement and I am so beyond happy for her. At some point she has to want to get better. I still have hope that she will make more progress. I love her to pieces and I want only the best for her. I try and I try and I try because I believe she can make it. Many times I see glimpses of a heart. I know it's there. A sweet little soul trying to get out. I believe she's in there. It's just too scary to trust because when you've been through trauma, after trauma, after trauma you do tend to lose faith. I'm keeping the faith for her until she can claim it for her own. I am her mother forever even though she doesn't want me. She is my daughter forever no matter what she does.
I didn't want to lose everyone's comments so I've listed them here: (Tracee, I'll email you tomorrow.)
9 comments:
The Cunninghams said...
WOW!
I am so proud of you. I do not see how anyone can find fault in you parenting. You are doing the darn near impossible.
October 28, 2008 2:52 PM
Jillene said...
WOW!! That made me cry--especially the last 2 lines!! You are AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING!! J is VERY lucky to have you!!
October 28, 2008 3:00 PM
Alyssa's Mom said...
It takes all kind of ignorant people to judge others.
You my dear are a cut above!
Stay strong and do what you know is right!
Love,
Me
October 28, 2008 3:19 PM
Kristina P. said...
Oh, Lisa. How heartbreaking. I have working with kids who I know will be sociopaths when they get older. It's no one's fault, and it's not fair, but hopefully, they can experience a little bit of love in their lives.
October 28, 2008 3:49 PM
Dinah said...
reading your stories reminded me of the nancy thomas training i went to last year. you are one brave, strong woman! and it must be the most difficult thing in the world to set aside one set expections for another. you are doing right by J and she deserves that...and you deserve the respect of so many people.
October 28, 2008 4:54 PM
marythemom said...
Big hugs from your Texas friend (and everything is bigger in Texas so that's huge!)! I know you are an amazing mom, as do most of the commenters, but as Viv says in Pretty Woman, "It's easier to believe the bad stuff." (or something like that).
Focus on your progress with J (and it is immense), if not for you, where would she be now? You did not break her, you cannot mend her perfectly, but she (and many other people, including me) is/are better for having known you. You are doing the best you know how and that is better than good enough!
Know that you have my ultimate admiration! I know that I am only half the mother that you are (and I still count my kids lucky). I have a husband and a mom that lives close by - I don't know how you do it alone. You rock!
Love,
Mary
October 28, 2008 5:14 PM
Tracee said...
What a shocking, frightening, heartbreaking story. I wish only the best for you both. No matter what, you have improved J's life.
I'm curious about something (tell me if it's none of my business): how did a single woman with presumably no parenting experience get workers to agree to let you adopt a child with so many challenges? The only reason I ask is because I'm also single and trying to adopt from foster care and my worker is very cautious about what I should attempt to take on behavior-wise. Other workers have also mentioned my lack of parenting experience and the fact that I have no support from a second parent. I'm not even looking at the kids with lots of behavioral issues or diagnosed psychiatric problems either. Just wondering how this happened the way it did for you and J.
October 28, 2008 5:31 PM
Thorn said...
Oh, Lisa, that's a heartbreaking story and I know it's still only a small bit of your reality. You're totally inspiring and it's very clear that no matter how far J can eventually go into the light, you've been and incredible force for good in her life.
October 28, 2008 6:26 PM
Ashley said...
I'm new to your blog and your life, but I have to say- I'm stunned and filled with respect.
October 28, 2008 7:53 PM
I must be feeling a little sensitive today. Isn't it amazing that you can get 10 positives and one negative can just suck the life out of you. It's like all I can hear in my head. Blech!
It's so easy to judge a mess of words on a page. It's easy to judge anyone or anything if you don't live with it. No matter how much we try to show the big picture it doesn't work. You have to live and breathe it 24/7 to get it. Believe it or not I don't share everything here. I can't blog about half the behaviors because I am not ok with sharing this information. Besides I'm not near as eloquent or funny as all you dear cyber friends and I have never once claimed to be a great communicator. I would say that I wish you could get inside my head but I think you'd just get dizzy in the swirling mess. I know I do.
There is a distinct severity level to J's RAD not to mention all the traumas and the moves and all the families that couldn't live with her behaviors. There is a spectrum to RAD. Helen Keller is on one end of the spectrum, then there's lots of middle ground, on the other end is Ted B*ndy, Jeffrey Dahm*r, etc.. Unfortunately J is on the far end. I knew this before I got her. Her s/w and GAL deemed her a seri*l killer at 3. Evaluations by psychologists and psychiatrists printed it out in black and white. They wanted to move her into a RTC and to consider her unadoptable. I saw hope and begged for her. I admit there was some whining in there too. ;-)
The rules are always the same and have been the same for 2 years and 5 days. Consequences on the other hand change constantly. What works today probably won't work tomorrow. It's just a fact. For instance, this morning I gave her a small stuffed mouse that I filled up with my pink love to use as a transition piece. During the day when she's with her homeschool teacher if she misses me all she has to do is hold the mouse and she can feel my love. This is done hoping she will transition better with her teacher today instead of torturing her, trying to kill her, etc. Will it work today? It has so far. Will it work tomorrow. Very doubtful. This afternoon if she is self-mutilating again I will tell her to run along to the bathroom and pick to her hearts content for 5 minutes. She will quit self-mutilating for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow I will have to come up with something different because it won't work anymore. Tomorrow I will re-invent the wheel because that's what RAD moms do. Every. Day.
My expectations have changed. I really thought lots of bonding, therapy, therapeutic parenting and tons of love would make all this anger dissipate and she would be just a normal little girl. I have lowered my expectations but my hopes are still high.
We have had 3 different RAD specialized therapists say that we need an in-home, full-time therapist living with us. J still sleeps with an alarm on her door, Puddin & I sleep behind double locked doors.
28 homes before age 5 and the longest she ever made it was 9 months. These were all 2 parent homes. Most homes couldn't sustain the abuse for more than 2 months. One home couldn't take it after 24 hours. She was 3 at that time. She has been subjected to traumas that would bring seasoned adults to their knees in a quivering mess. She is a fighter. She had to be. Every day existence was life or death. Literally in every sense of the word.
Tonight I watched last week's episode of ER. Part of the storyline was about a little girl who tried to kill her sister. It was amazingly and fearfully familiar.
Don't get me wrong...there has been a vast amount of improvement and I am so beyond happy for her. At some point she has to want to get better. I still have hope that she will make more progress. I love her to pieces and I want only the best for her. I try and I try and I try because I believe she can make it. Many times I see glimpses of a heart. I know it's there. A sweet little soul trying to get out. I believe she's in there. It's just too scary to trust because when you've been through trauma, after trauma, after trauma you do tend to lose faith. I'm keeping the faith for her until she can claim it for her own. I am her mother forever even though she doesn't want me. She is my daughter forever no matter what she does.
I didn't want to lose everyone's comments so I've listed them here: (Tracee, I'll email you tomorrow.)
9 comments:
The Cunninghams said...
WOW!
I am so proud of you. I do not see how anyone can find fault in you parenting. You are doing the darn near impossible.
October 28, 2008 2:52 PM
Jillene said...
WOW!! That made me cry--especially the last 2 lines!! You are AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING!! J is VERY lucky to have you!!
October 28, 2008 3:00 PM
Alyssa's Mom said...
It takes all kind of ignorant people to judge others.
You my dear are a cut above!
Stay strong and do what you know is right!
Love,
Me
October 28, 2008 3:19 PM
Kristina P. said...
Oh, Lisa. How heartbreaking. I have working with kids who I know will be sociopaths when they get older. It's no one's fault, and it's not fair, but hopefully, they can experience a little bit of love in their lives.
October 28, 2008 3:49 PM
Dinah said...
reading your stories reminded me of the nancy thomas training i went to last year. you are one brave, strong woman! and it must be the most difficult thing in the world to set aside one set expections for another. you are doing right by J and she deserves that...and you deserve the respect of so many people.
October 28, 2008 4:54 PM
marythemom said...
Big hugs from your Texas friend (and everything is bigger in Texas so that's huge!)! I know you are an amazing mom, as do most of the commenters, but as Viv says in Pretty Woman, "It's easier to believe the bad stuff." (or something like that).
Focus on your progress with J (and it is immense), if not for you, where would she be now? You did not break her, you cannot mend her perfectly, but she (and many other people, including me) is/are better for having known you. You are doing the best you know how and that is better than good enough!
Know that you have my ultimate admiration! I know that I am only half the mother that you are (and I still count my kids lucky). I have a husband and a mom that lives close by - I don't know how you do it alone. You rock!
Love,
Mary
October 28, 2008 5:14 PM
Tracee said...
What a shocking, frightening, heartbreaking story. I wish only the best for you both. No matter what, you have improved J's life.
I'm curious about something (tell me if it's none of my business): how did a single woman with presumably no parenting experience get workers to agree to let you adopt a child with so many challenges? The only reason I ask is because I'm also single and trying to adopt from foster care and my worker is very cautious about what I should attempt to take on behavior-wise. Other workers have also mentioned my lack of parenting experience and the fact that I have no support from a second parent. I'm not even looking at the kids with lots of behavioral issues or diagnosed psychiatric problems either. Just wondering how this happened the way it did for you and J.
October 28, 2008 5:31 PM
Thorn said...
Oh, Lisa, that's a heartbreaking story and I know it's still only a small bit of your reality. You're totally inspiring and it's very clear that no matter how far J can eventually go into the light, you've been and incredible force for good in her life.
October 28, 2008 6:26 PM
Ashley said...
I'm new to your blog and your life, but I have to say- I'm stunned and filled with respect.
October 28, 2008 7:53 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Scattered Post
It is good to be home. J really did well at the beach. No meltdowns, took re-direction, and we all had a lot of fun. Then we got home. Yuck.
Maybe stubborn just lives here in my house. Maybe if we move to the beach the stubborn won't follow us. Hum....... Fat chance but at least it was a week of less hatefulness, stubbornness, spitting, growling. I'll take it.
Torina posted about a day with J. How'd she do that????
J doesn't have FAS. That is according to the tests done in two different states by 4 different doctors. But Kari posted a You T that looks glaringly familiar.
I use a gamut of BC, NT, Katharine Leslie, Karyn Purvis, L & L, Keck, lots of love, bonding activities, sensory integration therapies, AT, Reiki, lots of omega's, and a host of other things. Teaching life skills is big on our list because even though she is off the charts intelligent she refuses to learn anything academic. Oh and BTW she can memorize a vast amount of information verbatim and remember tiny details of things we did 2 years ago or 2 days ago.
I truly believe she has a lot more control than she would like me to believe. She can hold it together for periods of time (hint: beach) then she'll revert back to 2 y/o behavior when she doesn't get her way. "I don't want to!" "It's too hard for me." "You're a big weiner assh*le." (No she did not learn this language in my house. She came here at 5 with the mouth of a sailor.) Then whining enters the game and it's the kind that would make fingernails on a chalkboard sound appealing.
Today I was a crappy mom. I yelled. Loudly. It was not pretty. MANY things happened and then the straw on the camel's back. J refused to put on her seat belt so I pulled over to wait (this has not happened since she first got here) G was in the car ahead of us and after we had pulled over twice he pulled over too. Told J no problem we could sit here all day and then she started beating the seats, kicking with her feet, screaming, etc. After she put it on the second time we were able to move. I passed G on the road from where he had pulled over. He called. G, "y'all quit arguing now. I can tell you're arguing." Yeah, I'm arguing. Right. I am trying to be a parent. I am ticked with both of them now.
When we got home I put myself in time-out. When I went in to chat with J. I told her the jig was up. It is so fine with me if she wants to be disrespectful, call me names, refuse to obey household rules, throw fits, etc. Not a problem at all. Because....every time she commits a household felony I get a toy, book, clothes or whatever I want of hers. No big deal, I won't yell, get angry, argue with her or get into a control battle. I'll just walk to the toy box. So far this is working. I have 3 small items that have been paid for retribution. Do I think it'll work over the long haul? I doubt it. One thing I do know is I have to keep changing it up. Today she loves her toys and doesn't want to lose them. Tomorrow she won't care. Such is RAD.
I love my munchkin, warts and all...just some days I don't like her very much. This just happens to be one of those days. Tomorrow is another day.
Sorry for being so negative or sounding harsh to all the non-RAD parents.
Maybe stubborn just lives here in my house. Maybe if we move to the beach the stubborn won't follow us. Hum....... Fat chance but at least it was a week of less hatefulness, stubbornness, spitting, growling. I'll take it.
Torina posted about a day with J. How'd she do that????
J doesn't have FAS. That is according to the tests done in two different states by 4 different doctors. But Kari posted a You T that looks glaringly familiar.
I use a gamut of BC, NT, Katharine Leslie, Karyn Purvis, L & L, Keck, lots of love, bonding activities, sensory integration therapies, AT, Reiki, lots of omega's, and a host of other things. Teaching life skills is big on our list because even though she is off the charts intelligent she refuses to learn anything academic. Oh and BTW she can memorize a vast amount of information verbatim and remember tiny details of things we did 2 years ago or 2 days ago.
I truly believe she has a lot more control than she would like me to believe. She can hold it together for periods of time (hint: beach) then she'll revert back to 2 y/o behavior when she doesn't get her way. "I don't want to!" "It's too hard for me." "You're a big weiner assh*le." (No she did not learn this language in my house. She came here at 5 with the mouth of a sailor.) Then whining enters the game and it's the kind that would make fingernails on a chalkboard sound appealing.
Today I was a crappy mom. I yelled. Loudly. It was not pretty. MANY things happened and then the straw on the camel's back. J refused to put on her seat belt so I pulled over to wait (this has not happened since she first got here) G was in the car ahead of us and after we had pulled over twice he pulled over too. Told J no problem we could sit here all day and then she started beating the seats, kicking with her feet, screaming, etc. After she put it on the second time we were able to move. I passed G on the road from where he had pulled over. He called. G, "y'all quit arguing now. I can tell you're arguing." Yeah, I'm arguing. Right. I am trying to be a parent. I am ticked with both of them now.
When we got home I put myself in time-out. When I went in to chat with J. I told her the jig was up. It is so fine with me if she wants to be disrespectful, call me names, refuse to obey household rules, throw fits, etc. Not a problem at all. Because....every time she commits a household felony I get a toy, book, clothes or whatever I want of hers. No big deal, I won't yell, get angry, argue with her or get into a control battle. I'll just walk to the toy box. So far this is working. I have 3 small items that have been paid for retribution. Do I think it'll work over the long haul? I doubt it. One thing I do know is I have to keep changing it up. Today she loves her toys and doesn't want to lose them. Tomorrow she won't care. Such is RAD.
I love my munchkin, warts and all...just some days I don't like her very much. This just happens to be one of those days. Tomorrow is another day.
Sorry for being so negative or sounding harsh to all the non-RAD parents.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Day One
We traveled all day to North Myrtle Beach. 6 1/2 hours in the car. J didn't suspect a thing since I packed in camouflage in the dark of night. ;-) But....as soon as she got in the truck she knew instantly that we were destined for the beach. This is her 5th trip to this house so it's starting to become more familiar. We have a modified routine here and she remembers it. Routines are comforting to her.
The 1st day is down and it was really a great day. Yay for both of us! J ate her weight in crab legs. She has to crack her own and she does it very well and with great persistence. She was even ok with not being able to swim because "buuuuurrrrr" it's cold here!
Thanks from a little help up north J is off the Clonid*ne and starting to act like herself again. I know she is emotionally disturbed but she was truly off her rocker with Clonid*ne and getting weirder by the minute. Yuck!
Puddin should be eating out of Astrid's hand by now. Y'all think I'm kidding. I'm not. When I'm not home that's the only way she'll eat. 3 trips to ICU proved that. Puddin has issues too....
The 1st day is down and it was really a great day. Yay for both of us! J ate her weight in crab legs. She has to crack her own and she does it very well and with great persistence. She was even ok with not being able to swim because "buuuuurrrrr" it's cold here!
Thanks from a little help up north J is off the Clonid*ne and starting to act like herself again. I know she is emotionally disturbed but she was truly off her rocker with Clonid*ne and getting weirder by the minute. Yuck!
Puddin should be eating out of Astrid's hand by now. Y'all think I'm kidding. I'm not. When I'm not home that's the only way she'll eat. 3 trips to ICU proved that. Puddin has issues too....
Friday, October 17, 2008
Witness
G has only seen probably 2 of J's meltdowns. Ever. Usually she can hold it together in front of him because well... she doesn't see him that much. Last night he was at the house for all of 5 minutes before she exploded. I could see it coming for an hour and had been trying to divert it but it didn't work. He tried to pacify her out of it for a few minutes. God love him. You know...giving explanations to all of her screams of "I want to go outside, I hate you, you're a meanie, you're an assh*le", etc.... Answering her with an explanation. It only fueled the fire but he tried. Finally when the screams hit the highest decibel he's ever heard he disappeared into thin air faster than you can whippersnapper. Honestly on a bad fit scale of 1 -10, it was probably a 2. Not too bad. I was actually impressed that it wasn't worse considering the behavior leading up to the explosion. You know how you just get that sneaking suspicion that something major is about to pop?
15 minutes later she was sound asleep and snoring up a storm. No restraints necessary as she wasn't trying to hurt herself at all this time. Just a calm loving mom singing lullabies while she rocked her baby to sleep. Note to self: do more tapping this afternoon on adoption.
He called a couple of hours later...."I just don't know why y'all can't get along." Hmmm....
Vacation could be interesting....
15 minutes later she was sound asleep and snoring up a storm. No restraints necessary as she wasn't trying to hurt herself at all this time. Just a calm loving mom singing lullabies while she rocked her baby to sleep. Note to self: do more tapping this afternoon on adoption.
He called a couple of hours later...."I just don't know why y'all can't get along." Hmmm....
Vacation could be interesting....
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Warning...Potty Humor
You know....it would probably help if I shared all the med info. Risperd*l was started in March 08 and Clonid*ne was started 10/13/08. The fart police have been off duty for about 4 months. I didn't even realize it's been that long since that's been an issue. Now it's just normal farting instead of every two seconds farting. What a relief. Oh I'm so hoping this doesn't start back up now that Clonid*ne has been added. Geez aren't you glad I covered that subject?
Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. They were great!!! Does anybody have any experience with benefi*ber? I was on Miral*x for years (3 times daily for maybe 8 years??) back when it was only available as a prescription. Then some really smart(y) (pants) person informed me it was only one molecule different than antifreeze. Weirded me out so much I never took it again. I KNOW it doesn't work that way but it was already in my head. The DVR had already hit auto-protect and the delete button didn't work.
Trying to be excited about vacation. I haven't broken the news to J yet. She does so much better if you don't share "fun" information ahead of time. She will sabotage it every time. For that matter Puddin doesn't like advance information either. Bring out luggage and Puddin is FREAKING out! So my plan is to pack the van Sunday night. Put J in the bed, then let Puddin out the back door to play then stash the luggage as quickly as possible before I get busted. Camouflage might be necessary. Sounds like a good plan but I'll just betcha some smarty (pants) will let the cat out of the bag before I can execute.
P.S. How do you get prune juice down a kid? Any tricks to this????
Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. They were great!!! Does anybody have any experience with benefi*ber? I was on Miral*x for years (3 times daily for maybe 8 years??) back when it was only available as a prescription. Then some really smart(y) (pants) person informed me it was only one molecule different than antifreeze. Weirded me out so much I never took it again. I KNOW it doesn't work that way but it was already in my head. The DVR had already hit auto-protect and the delete button didn't work.
Trying to be excited about vacation. I haven't broken the news to J yet. She does so much better if you don't share "fun" information ahead of time. She will sabotage it every time. For that matter Puddin doesn't like advance information either. Bring out luggage and Puddin is FREAKING out! So my plan is to pack the van Sunday night. Put J in the bed, then let Puddin out the back door to play then stash the luggage as quickly as possible before I get busted. Camouflage might be necessary. Sounds like a good plan but I'll just betcha some smarty (pants) will let the cat out of the bag before I can execute.
P.S. How do you get prune juice down a kid? Any tricks to this????
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Celebrating Ceyja
Effects
Can anyone tell me if risperd*l causes constipation? Isn't that a lovely way to open???? We've upped water intake, added grape juice, exercise and extra fiber foods in the diet but honestly it's not working much. Any advice??? I think the 4 lbs she's gained is all poop. Since she already has poop issues I try to make this a non-issue with me so it's hard to monitor.
The clonid*ne really seems to be helping her sleep better which is a really good thing even though I hate meds. J was waking up every morning with black eyes and bags. This morning there was a great improvement with the dark circles.
The good news is that J made some serious efforts with me last night. She was very helpful in the kitchen. Volunteered to do the dishes and volunteered to give me a foot rub. Yahoo!
Oh...and about this morning....I woke up to Jessi ringing the doorbell at 7:30. That 5:45 alarm meant nothing to me. It was a figment of my imagination. Can you say...rude awakening? Still cannot believe I slept that late?! I don't sleep that late on weekends and I was asleep @ 9:15 last night. What is up with that?
The clonid*ne really seems to be helping her sleep better which is a really good thing even though I hate meds. J was waking up every morning with black eyes and bags. This morning there was a great improvement with the dark circles.
The good news is that J made some serious efforts with me last night. She was very helpful in the kitchen. Volunteered to do the dishes and volunteered to give me a foot rub. Yahoo!
Oh...and about this morning....I woke up to Jessi ringing the doorbell at 7:30. That 5:45 alarm meant nothing to me. It was a figment of my imagination. Can you say...rude awakening? Still cannot believe I slept that late?! I don't sleep that late on weekends and I was asleep @ 9:15 last night. What is up with that?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Behaviors and happenings are just not bloggable these days. Sorry.
The p-doc recommends RTC. I am against that idea. She also told J that if she didn't get a grip she was headed for jail. J laughed. P-doc told her it wasn't funny. Nope. It's not. She added another drug instead of increasing risperd*l because her cholesterol was elevated. Sorry...I am not worried about her cholesterol right now. I am tired and tired of whining.
Go read Ceyja & Maia's new blog. Ceyja's Days. They have reminded me that I have no reason to whine so I'm dragging my whiny butt outta here.
The p-doc recommends RTC. I am against that idea. She also told J that if she didn't get a grip she was headed for jail. J laughed. P-doc told her it wasn't funny. Nope. It's not. She added another drug instead of increasing risperd*l because her cholesterol was elevated. Sorry...I am not worried about her cholesterol right now. I am tired and tired of whining.
Go read Ceyja & Maia's new blog. Ceyja's Days. They have reminded me that I have no reason to whine so I'm dragging my whiny butt outta here.
Friday, October 10, 2008
P.S.
Dinah just brought up a another thought. Sometimes if I have a little spare cash I'll pay for the people behind me in the drive thru. Once in the parking lot was a group of police officers talking. I got'em a bag of biscuits and took them out. They looked scared to take them. Like there might've had a bomb in the bag. Of course it could've been the no make-up, Saturday sweats and harem scarem hair. ;-)
Random Acts of Kindness
Well...I am still positive (most of me anyway) today unfortunately J didn't get the memo. Tantrums ALL. DAY. LONG. 10 minutes before bedtime she just stopped. Hmmm....
The good news is I didn't lose my cool, I won the lottery and she'll probably sleep really well. Tomorrow she'll wake up in a better mood.
Play group therapy tomorrow. Woo hoo!
Now I'm taking a different direction. Random Act of Kindness....
Just because we don't go to church right now we still do tithes. J puts so much of her chore money in her little Ziploc tithe bag and I have a percentage taken out of my check and direct deposited into a savings account labeled tithes. That direct deposit business is wonderful because I never miss it. If I got my grubby little hands on it the chances are it would be spent. Probably for therapy. ;-) I love to secretly help people that need help or have a dream they're trying to reach. It's really wonderful to do it secretly because then you have absolutely no expectations. You can't worry about them spending it on what you want them to spend it on (which is none of my business) or be expecting a thanks (which isn't necessary). Preferably I take the cash out of the account, put it in a really pretty card and just sign it "Love". No name. Nothing. It gives me the warm fuzzies all over because it was a random act of kindness.
Another random act of kindness that I used to do is send birthday cards. I'd pick an office and send anonymous birthday cards to every employee for an entire year. One office was pretty large. 100 or so employees.... I would go the Hallmark once a month and pick out birthday cards for all the people that were having birthdays for the next month. I would have a grand time picking out those cards and the process could amuse me for an hour or more if I had the time. Then I'd go write sign all the cards and have them ready to mail a few days before the person's birthday. I wouldn't sign them with my name silly! I'd put nonsensical stuff like, hoping all your dreams come true, you deserve them, etc., then I'd turn the card upside down and sign "L". My penmanship is REALLY bad so it looked nothing like an "L" once upside down. So anywho the whole year passed and I had sent everyone in the office a card. I started hearing rumors about people talking about their birthday cards and wondering who was sending them. At the end of the year a group of people at the office thought they had figured out who was sending the cards. They thought it was a guy that had retired from management about 6 months before. They threw him a huge birthday party. Isn't that cool!!!!! Random acts of kindness can make some really cool things happen.
Sometimes it's hard to be all sneaky about it but I still keep trying.... I like being sneaky.
Tomorrow I'm going to be sneaky. It'll make me feel better and some unsuspecting stranger will feel better too.
What are you going to do for your random act of kindess today?
The good news is I didn't lose my cool, I won the lottery and she'll probably sleep really well. Tomorrow she'll wake up in a better mood.
Play group therapy tomorrow. Woo hoo!
Now I'm taking a different direction. Random Act of Kindness....
Just because we don't go to church right now we still do tithes. J puts so much of her chore money in her little Ziploc tithe bag and I have a percentage taken out of my check and direct deposited into a savings account labeled tithes. That direct deposit business is wonderful because I never miss it. If I got my grubby little hands on it the chances are it would be spent. Probably for therapy. ;-) I love to secretly help people that need help or have a dream they're trying to reach. It's really wonderful to do it secretly because then you have absolutely no expectations. You can't worry about them spending it on what you want them to spend it on (which is none of my business) or be expecting a thanks (which isn't necessary). Preferably I take the cash out of the account, put it in a really pretty card and just sign it "Love". No name. Nothing. It gives me the warm fuzzies all over because it was a random act of kindness.
Another random act of kindness that I used to do is send birthday cards. I'd pick an office and send anonymous birthday cards to every employee for an entire year. One office was pretty large. 100 or so employees.... I would go the Hallmark once a month and pick out birthday cards for all the people that were having birthdays for the next month. I would have a grand time picking out those cards and the process could amuse me for an hour or more if I had the time. Then I'd go write sign all the cards and have them ready to mail a few days before the person's birthday. I wouldn't sign them with my name silly! I'd put nonsensical stuff like, hoping all your dreams come true, you deserve them, etc., then I'd turn the card upside down and sign "L". My penmanship is REALLY bad so it looked nothing like an "L" once upside down. So anywho the whole year passed and I had sent everyone in the office a card. I started hearing rumors about people talking about their birthday cards and wondering who was sending them. At the end of the year a group of people at the office thought they had figured out who was sending the cards. They thought it was a guy that had retired from management about 6 months before. They threw him a huge birthday party. Isn't that cool!!!!! Random acts of kindness can make some really cool things happen.
Sometimes it's hard to be all sneaky about it but I still keep trying.... I like being sneaky.
Tomorrow I'm going to be sneaky. It'll make me feel better and some unsuspecting stranger will feel better too.
What are you going to do for your random act of kindess today?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Less Drama
Ok...this may or may not be a rambling post. Apologies now rather than later cause you might not make it to the end.
I am projecting my thoughts on a happy, peaceful, calm child. I am going to put all my energy into these thoughts instead of worrying about the next meltdown. Secondary PTSD wants all my energy to go into projecting the next drama and it sends me into the same flight or fight that J battles. I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. GO. THERE. (today)
This morning J & I created a new set of beliefs for ourselves and read them over and over. Some of them are below:
Mine:
1. J is a normal, happy, healthy child.
2. J isable to show me love and be loved by me.
3. J is completely healed.
4. J is nice to me.
5. J is nice to Mrs. Kacak
6. I live in a calm and happy home that will be filled with peace and light.
7. I help others.
8. God & angels watch over me.
9. My home is safe.
10. We won the lottery!
J wrote her own set of beliefs in her own words:
1. I have an awesome mom.
2. I am a very good girl.
3. I can make mistakes.
4. Mom, Miss Kristy and Miss Chris help me get out my yuckies.
5. I will have a great day.
6. Mom keeps me safe.
7. All my yuckies have left.
8. My dreams came true. They are I give love and get love.
9. I am a normal 7 y/o.
10. I am magic.
11. I make good choices.
12. I play with friends.
13. I am a good friend.
14. I am nice to mom every day.
15. I love to learn.
16. I am carefree.
17. I have a happy life.
18. God & angels watch over me.
19. I love myself.
20. I show my mom I love her.
I woke up in a happy, carefree mood and expecting a loving, cheerful little girl with a great attitude instead of the dreaded wondering of what I'm going to find and what is going to be the next fight. Attitude of gratitude and great expectations. Opening her door to find exactly what I expected. A loving, cheerful little girl who had a great attitude. Who would've ever thunk it? How much of my mindset controls J's behaviors is something that is bewildering. Can she read my mind?
I am enjoying the shift so far and not thinking about what's going to happen next.
Feeling a like a celebrity with all you followers. Warm fuzzy feelings...
Christa's "I root for you everyday" and Andra's "Looking forward to walking with you..." really moved me. I would tell you I teared up (which I did) but then Torina would think I am a big wuss but I guess that's ok because she already knows it. Putting on my patience panties and waiting for the promised pictures. All the positive comments are really taken to heart and some days it's y'all that get me through.
Posted by:
Positive Lisa
I am projecting my thoughts on a happy, peaceful, calm child. I am going to put all my energy into these thoughts instead of worrying about the next meltdown. Secondary PTSD wants all my energy to go into projecting the next drama and it sends me into the same flight or fight that J battles. I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. GO. THERE. (today)
This morning J & I created a new set of beliefs for ourselves and read them over and over. Some of them are below:
Mine:
1. J is a normal, happy, healthy child.
2. J isable to show me love and be loved by me.
3. J is completely healed.
4. J is nice to me.
5. J is nice to Mrs. Kacak
6. I live in a calm and happy home that will be filled with peace and light.
7. I help others.
8. God & angels watch over me.
9. My home is safe.
10. We won the lottery!
J wrote her own set of beliefs in her own words:
1. I have an awesome mom.
2. I am a very good girl.
3. I can make mistakes.
4. Mom, Miss Kristy and Miss Chris help me get out my yuckies.
5. I will have a great day.
6. Mom keeps me safe.
7. All my yuckies have left.
8. My dreams came true. They are I give love and get love.
9. I am a normal 7 y/o.
10. I am magic.
11. I make good choices.
12. I play with friends.
13. I am a good friend.
14. I am nice to mom every day.
15. I love to learn.
16. I am carefree.
17. I have a happy life.
18. God & angels watch over me.
19. I love myself.
20. I show my mom I love her.
I woke up in a happy, carefree mood and expecting a loving, cheerful little girl with a great attitude instead of the dreaded wondering of what I'm going to find and what is going to be the next fight. Attitude of gratitude and great expectations. Opening her door to find exactly what I expected. A loving, cheerful little girl who had a great attitude. Who would've ever thunk it? How much of my mindset controls J's behaviors is something that is bewildering. Can she read my mind?
I am enjoying the shift so far and not thinking about what's going to happen next.
Feeling a like a celebrity with all you followers. Warm fuzzy feelings...
Christa's "I root for you everyday" and Andra's "Looking forward to walking with you..." really moved me. I would tell you I teared up (which I did) but then Torina would think I am a big wuss but I guess that's ok because she already knows it. Putting on my patience panties and waiting for the promised pictures. All the positive comments are really taken to heart and some days it's y'all that get me through.
Posted by:
Positive Lisa
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Small amounts of progress
And I'll take it.
The first time in almost 2 months that J didn't have to be restrained in therapy. Progress...
We talked in therapy about the fact that she's doing everything to push me away and nothing to show she loves me. Kristy helped her identify some things she could do to show me love because it's important that she learns reciprocity. Hopefully she'll really start to make some effort here. We also talked about how she should know who my best friends are, my favorite things to do, etc. By the time we left she had everything memorized.
Things are improved for right now. It might not last for 5 more minutes but for this minute there is improvement. She was very helpful making dinner. We had salmon patties, gravy and tomatoes for dinner so I told her the story of this particular dinner. It is comfort food for me. My grandmother always fixed either this meal or cornmeal gravy for me when I was a little kid (and up till I was 35 - oops! I mean 29). So now when I'm feeling sad or blue I make these and then I can feel my grandmother's love and don't feel so sad any more. So I told her when she's all grown up and feeling sad & blue she'll be able to cook these and feel my love and not be sad & blue anymore. She really liked the story and was able to relay it back to me.
We also talked about more things she can do to show me love and practiced how the key words are "Jordan, it's not all about you." and then what would happen. She also did all the dinner dishes and gave me 10 minutes on the computer while she colored. I called Connie and she's going to keep J for me on 10/18 so that I can go to the Saturday Al-Anon meeting. I cannot tell you how important that meeting is for me in that it helps me learn how to practice detachment from the situation. Many of the lessons I learned in Al-Anon are what have kept me going where others have given up. Learning it's not about me, I didn't cause, I can't control it and I can't cure it, you don't have to go to every fight you're invited to, just because someone calls you a chair doesn't mean you're a chair, detach with love and too many more to mention. Hopefully it'll work out where I can get to at least 2 a month. God bless her! Thanks to Kristy for the brilliant suggestion.
Torina, I am anxiously expecting the promised pictures. 0;-) Just because I'm feeling a little more hopeful doesn't mean you're off the hook.
To all you new folks I am so glad you're here. Even if it's just to be grateful that you're not a resident in our life. ;-) 13 Followers - you rock! Feeling really special now!
To all the faithful supporters, you're my rock, glue, calm in the storm, giggles, and sometimes snorts. Tudu your words will stay with me forever.
The first time in almost 2 months that J didn't have to be restrained in therapy. Progress...
We talked in therapy about the fact that she's doing everything to push me away and nothing to show she loves me. Kristy helped her identify some things she could do to show me love because it's important that she learns reciprocity. Hopefully she'll really start to make some effort here. We also talked about how she should know who my best friends are, my favorite things to do, etc. By the time we left she had everything memorized.
Things are improved for right now. It might not last for 5 more minutes but for this minute there is improvement. She was very helpful making dinner. We had salmon patties, gravy and tomatoes for dinner so I told her the story of this particular dinner. It is comfort food for me. My grandmother always fixed either this meal or cornmeal gravy for me when I was a little kid (and up till I was 35 - oops! I mean 29). So now when I'm feeling sad or blue I make these and then I can feel my grandmother's love and don't feel so sad any more. So I told her when she's all grown up and feeling sad & blue she'll be able to cook these and feel my love and not be sad & blue anymore. She really liked the story and was able to relay it back to me.
We also talked about more things she can do to show me love and practiced how the key words are "Jordan, it's not all about you." and then what would happen. She also did all the dinner dishes and gave me 10 minutes on the computer while she colored. I called Connie and she's going to keep J for me on 10/18 so that I can go to the Saturday Al-Anon meeting. I cannot tell you how important that meeting is for me in that it helps me learn how to practice detachment from the situation. Many of the lessons I learned in Al-Anon are what have kept me going where others have given up. Learning it's not about me, I didn't cause, I can't control it and I can't cure it, you don't have to go to every fight you're invited to, just because someone calls you a chair doesn't mean you're a chair, detach with love and too many more to mention. Hopefully it'll work out where I can get to at least 2 a month. God bless her! Thanks to Kristy for the brilliant suggestion.
Torina, I am anxiously expecting the promised pictures. 0;-) Just because I'm feeling a little more hopeful doesn't mean you're off the hook.
To all you new folks I am so glad you're here. Even if it's just to be grateful that you're not a resident in our life. ;-) 13 Followers - you rock! Feeling really special now!
To all the faithful supporters, you're my rock, glue, calm in the storm, giggles, and sometimes snorts. Tudu your words will stay with me forever.
P.S.
Just a FYI....I am really sorry that I haven't been commenting much lately on other blogs. Trying to make a concerted effort to do better but it seems I'm really stuck in the trauma and PTSD at them moment. Analysis - paralysis. Hopefully we'll pull out of this soon. Thanks to all of you for being so faithful and so supportive, even when I'm a crappy, whiney mom.
Lynn, I know you're there and yes, you can call anytime. Any distractions are welcome anytime. I stink at picking up the phone to ask for help but I will answer it if it rings. See...still a dork. ;-) BTW...I still need your new email address...hint...hint....
Lynn, I know you're there and yes, you can call anytime. Any distractions are welcome anytime. I stink at picking up the phone to ask for help but I will answer it if it rings. See...still a dork. ;-) BTW...I still need your new email address...hint...hint....
More drama
It turns out that J was fast & snappy yesterday morning because she was trying to hide pee.
While she was apologizing to Jessi for the day's indiscretions I told her to also apologize for peeing on the floor in the Reiki room. She told on herself. "I did that with you." I had suspected that but was shocked to hear her admit it. Told her that was fine. Wasn't a problem with me that she peed in that room because she had to smell it.
Patience went flying out the window. Not my proudest moment.
I let her hear me telling Daddy G that she had peed on the carpet. May have been mean but he should know. Told him we're not going to the lake this weekend because I don't want to risk her peeing on his carpet and he agreed.
Afterwards, she had to clean the carpet then wash out all the cleaning rags & her clothes outside in a bucket. Then I sent her to take a bath. She ate dinner, Chris came and did Reiki then she went straight to bed. I was still so mad I really didn't want to be around her. Now logically I know this is to be expected but it was straw on the proverbial camel's back. I think the onslaught of behaviors that are relentless each day is catching up with me and wearing me down.
The defiance is still over the top. Feeling like a really crappy mom.
While she was apologizing to Jessi for the day's indiscretions I told her to also apologize for peeing on the floor in the Reiki room. She told on herself. "I did that with you." I had suspected that but was shocked to hear her admit it. Told her that was fine. Wasn't a problem with me that she peed in that room because she had to smell it.
Patience went flying out the window. Not my proudest moment.
I let her hear me telling Daddy G that she had peed on the carpet. May have been mean but he should know. Told him we're not going to the lake this weekend because I don't want to risk her peeing on his carpet and he agreed.
Afterwards, she had to clean the carpet then wash out all the cleaning rags & her clothes outside in a bucket. Then I sent her to take a bath. She ate dinner, Chris came and did Reiki then she went straight to bed. I was still so mad I really didn't want to be around her. Now logically I know this is to be expected but it was straw on the proverbial camel's back. I think the onslaught of behaviors that are relentless each day is catching up with me and wearing me down.
The defiance is still over the top. Feeling like a really crappy mom.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Therapy
Adoption stuff is really setting J off and the Jesus incident isn't helping. Therapy was very challenging yesterday as J spent most of the time spitting, biting, hitting, kicking, raging and trying to hurt herself. *heavy sigh*
After dinner last night I spent time doing crazy stuff. Like leading her around by her hand in circles with no purpose, spinning her around, etc. Eventually I was able to get her to do some baby time and it seemed to improve her mood. While she was putting her dishes up she did tell me that "she did NOT want my love". No shocker there. She is RAD. Love is scary to a radish. Love equals pain to her, so even though she REALLY WANTS MY LOVE at her core, her survival self says "push away" or I will die.
This morning she did exceptionally well. Very fast & snappy girl. Made it through breakfast with time to spare and almost had time to ride her bike before Jessi got there. Woo hoo!
As of 8:16 this morning she was spitting on Jessi, raging, screaming obscenitites, etc.
After dinner last night I spent time doing crazy stuff. Like leading her around by her hand in circles with no purpose, spinning her around, etc. Eventually I was able to get her to do some baby time and it seemed to improve her mood. While she was putting her dishes up she did tell me that "she did NOT want my love". No shocker there. She is RAD. Love is scary to a radish. Love equals pain to her, so even though she REALLY WANTS MY LOVE at her core, her survival self says "push away" or I will die.
This morning she did exceptionally well. Very fast & snappy girl. Made it through breakfast with time to spare and almost had time to ride her bike before Jessi got there. Woo hoo!
As of 8:16 this morning she was spitting on Jessi, raging, screaming obscenitites, etc.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Meltdowns, nightmares, etc.
Fun oh fun I am telling you.
Anniversary dates are triggers we're already dealing with. Friday night, the sitter (without my knowledge or permission) talked with J about her bad choices and how Jesus died on the cross with nails in his feet and hands for her bad choices. Oh boy have we got problems now. Night terrors 3 or 4 times a night. Saturday morning telling me she is terrified of Jesus and that she's going to die with nails in her because of all her bad choices. I don't know this for a fact but my intuition tells me that she was "punished" with religion in another home.
Saturday was really terrible. Fit after fit after fit. We went to the lake against my better judgment. I told J if there was one step out of bounds we were going home. She held it together the whole time and by the time we got home I was starting to be able to stand being around her again.
This morning I asked her what she had to do after she made her bed. She replied, I don't want to tell you, blah, blah, blah... I went upstairs. Sneaking suspicion when she came up. Smelled her hands. Hadn't been washed. Asked if she did and she said yes. Went back downstairs to check it out. Before we got to the bathroom I told her now was the time to tell me if she lied. Yes she did. Asked her if she flushed and she said no. Flushed and washed but did a sorry job washing and wouldn't (refused) sing the ABC song. Got a book and told her that was fine. I'd wait. Huffed off to her room. Trying to hurt herself again so had to restrain. Then she went back and did it right. Came upstairs and couldn't get her teeth brushed, hair brushed, etc. Finally made it to strong sitting. Took 3 tries before she was able. At 7:30 when Jessi got there she was still doing strong sitting.
Jessi called and said she was refusing to do anything she tells her. The last I heard she is back in Reiki room and Jessi was going to give her a bit to calm down.
Lunch provided more calls on more defiance, shoving, growling, talking in a different voice, etc. Therapy @ 4.
On top of all this...I, like Tudu, am having nightmares. Ugh!
Anniversary dates are triggers we're already dealing with. Friday night, the sitter (without my knowledge or permission) talked with J about her bad choices and how Jesus died on the cross with nails in his feet and hands for her bad choices. Oh boy have we got problems now. Night terrors 3 or 4 times a night. Saturday morning telling me she is terrified of Jesus and that she's going to die with nails in her because of all her bad choices. I don't know this for a fact but my intuition tells me that she was "punished" with religion in another home.
Saturday was really terrible. Fit after fit after fit. We went to the lake against my better judgment. I told J if there was one step out of bounds we were going home. She held it together the whole time and by the time we got home I was starting to be able to stand being around her again.
This morning I asked her what she had to do after she made her bed. She replied, I don't want to tell you, blah, blah, blah... I went upstairs. Sneaking suspicion when she came up. Smelled her hands. Hadn't been washed. Asked if she did and she said yes. Went back downstairs to check it out. Before we got to the bathroom I told her now was the time to tell me if she lied. Yes she did. Asked her if she flushed and she said no. Flushed and washed but did a sorry job washing and wouldn't (refused) sing the ABC song. Got a book and told her that was fine. I'd wait. Huffed off to her room. Trying to hurt herself again so had to restrain. Then she went back and did it right. Came upstairs and couldn't get her teeth brushed, hair brushed, etc. Finally made it to strong sitting. Took 3 tries before she was able. At 7:30 when Jessi got there she was still doing strong sitting.
Jessi called and said she was refusing to do anything she tells her. The last I heard she is back in Reiki room and Jessi was going to give her a bit to calm down.
Lunch provided more calls on more defiance, shoving, growling, talking in a different voice, etc. Therapy @ 4.
On top of all this...I, like Tudu, am having nightmares. Ugh!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Assistance Please
Can anyone tell me where to find some really cool web award thingys like on the right side of my blog? I'd to peruse some and have exhausted all efforts to find them. I must be googling the wrong thing.
Rattling - Edited
Yes Jill she was sound asleep in her bed and I totally believe you on the vases & books because I've seen a lot of things lately that most people would never believe unless they were there. Heck...I wouldn't believe it either.
Night out....not only am I going to see one movie...I am going to see two!!!! I've NEVER done that before. Connie suggested it because she's brilliant like that. My tired brain would've never come up with that idea. Hoping my squirmy self can sit still that long, then on the other hand, I'm hoping I don't fall asleep from exhaustion. The Women & Nights in Rodanthe here we come...
Tudu...I wish we lived closer cause I'd so give you a night off...Torina...I am going to try to figure out that follower business. I gave it a half-hearted look one day, got discouraged and quit so now I'm going to be more diligent. Awesome mom Gerri, God bless her, already figured it out and added me. Maybe you can give me some tips Gerri...wink...wink. CJ thanks for the shout out. I think that bonding time is soooo important even with the older kids (even with that thing I won't mention anymore cause I promised). I have to use winking games to get J to stay focused on my eyes. I wink once she winks once. I wink twice she winks twice and so on. Sometimes I tell her the story of how she came to be my daughter, other times I just tell her how much I love her and specific things that I love about her (her sense of humor, being stubborn ;-), her toes, etc.
Dreaming of 4:00.....
Look! I figured out that Follower business. That was easy....Now just hoping I have some more followers...hint...hint....looking for the warm fuzzies.....
Cool that people can follow anonymously too. Priscilla, Lynn, and you other cool people....that means you too ;-)
Night out....not only am I going to see one movie...I am going to see two!!!! I've NEVER done that before. Connie suggested it because she's brilliant like that. My tired brain would've never come up with that idea. Hoping my squirmy self can sit still that long, then on the other hand, I'm hoping I don't fall asleep from exhaustion. The Women & Nights in Rodanthe here we come...
Tudu...I wish we lived closer cause I'd so give you a night off...Torina...I am going to try to figure out that follower business. I gave it a half-hearted look one day, got discouraged and quit so now I'm going to be more diligent. Awesome mom Gerri, God bless her, already figured it out and added me. Maybe you can give me some tips Gerri...wink...wink. CJ thanks for the shout out. I think that bonding time is soooo important even with the older kids (even with that thing I won't mention anymore cause I promised). I have to use winking games to get J to stay focused on my eyes. I wink once she winks once. I wink twice she winks twice and so on. Sometimes I tell her the story of how she came to be my daughter, other times I just tell her how much I love her and specific things that I love about her (her sense of humor, being stubborn ;-), her toes, etc.
Dreaming of 4:00.....
Look! I figured out that Follower business. That was easy....Now just hoping I have some more followers...hint...hint....looking for the warm fuzzies.....
Cool that people can follow anonymously too. Priscilla, Lynn, and you other cool people....that means you too ;-)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
We're still hanging in there. Therapy revealed some of what is going on is the 2nd anniversary is coming up. Has it really been two years???? What did I do with all my time before? It's all a distant memory.
I have been kicked in the face, spit on, bit, etc... for the last few days. Trying to project normalcy and picturing what life would look like when this passes. It will pass...
Tomorrow night I have an evening off with my friend Connie. Yahoo! Going to see The Women. I don't care if the movie stinks. Just need to get out of the house for a bit. Torina, I'm hoping you and JB have as much fun as I'm going to.
I have been kicked in the face, spit on, bit, etc... for the last few days. Trying to project normalcy and picturing what life would look like when this passes. It will pass...
Tomorrow night I have an evening off with my friend Connie. Yahoo! Going to see The Women. I don't care if the movie stinks. Just need to get out of the house for a bit. Torina, I'm hoping you and JB have as much fun as I'm going to.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Crazy Straws
The harping about the importance of a RAD child "sucking" "with their cheecks" on a bottle is about to end. I promise. I remembered from somewhere that it can be helpful for them to use a crazy straw like you will see here. Because of yet again, the sucking motion. Now why I did not figure out that J had to "suck" on the bottle is still beyond me. Brain fart I suppose. So now I'm incorporating the crazy straws back onto the dinner table. We did it for about a month a year or so ago but I am dragging them back out of the booby-trapped drawer in the kitchen.
Really increasing J's baby time right now as she is still struggling and it seems to be very calming and soothing to her. G seems to think it's ridiculous and will not even sit in the same room while we have baby time but that's ok too. Reading to her while she's soaking in a salt/soda bath is calming as well. She sleeps soooo much better after a salt/soda bath. That is 1 lb sea salt and 1 lb baking soda which is about 2 cups of each.
Friday and yesterday were especially hard but trudging through as best we can.
Really increasing J's baby time right now as she is still struggling and it seems to be very calming and soothing to her. G seems to think it's ridiculous and will not even sit in the same room while we have baby time but that's ok too. Reading to her while she's soaking in a salt/soda bath is calming as well. She sleeps soooo much better after a salt/soda bath. That is 1 lb sea salt and 1 lb baking soda which is about 2 cups of each.
Friday and yesterday were especially hard but trudging through as best we can.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Post Therapy
While therapy was a challenge yesterday...A. Big. Challenge. Great improvements since though. Count them...5 restraints. J was pretty scared too. Both of us and I am sure, Kristy too, were very tired afterwards. At the end it is customary for J to thank Kristy for helping her get the yuckies out yesterday she added..."Thank you for holding me too" because she was trying to hurt herself so much.
Home for lots of baby time with warm, chocolate, goat milk after a salt/soda bath. She was exhausted, as was I. After she was tucked in I fell in the bed shortly thereafter. Pooped puppy I was.... Could've slept till noon.
I prescribed lots of laughter to Jessi this morning as laughter always makes it harder for the yuckies to stick. More unschooling going on too and she has no idea that she is learning so much. Sssshhhh...it's a secret....don't tell her or she'll quit.
The fairy came to sprinkle her last night so she was very quickly enamored this morning when she saw all the fairy dust. That darn fairy! She just shows up out of nowhere! ;-)
She is getting better at her yoga poses that Kristy suggested to help her find her center. Mountain is easy of course but the tree pose is much harder. For me too...but I am learning that you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks!
Thanks to each of you for all of your support. You really don't know how much I appreciate all of you. It's hard living in a RAD world at times but having great friends like you helps heaps!
Home for lots of baby time with warm, chocolate, goat milk after a salt/soda bath. She was exhausted, as was I. After she was tucked in I fell in the bed shortly thereafter. Pooped puppy I was.... Could've slept till noon.
I prescribed lots of laughter to Jessi this morning as laughter always makes it harder for the yuckies to stick. More unschooling going on too and she has no idea that she is learning so much. Sssshhhh...it's a secret....don't tell her or she'll quit.
The fairy came to sprinkle her last night so she was very quickly enamored this morning when she saw all the fairy dust. That darn fairy! She just shows up out of nowhere! ;-)
She is getting better at her yoga poses that Kristy suggested to help her find her center. Mountain is easy of course but the tree pose is much harder. For me too...but I am learning that you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks!
Thanks to each of you for all of your support. You really don't know how much I appreciate all of you. It's hard living in a RAD world at times but having great friends like you helps heaps!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
It's Wednesday!!!!
Yesterday J did well all day with Jessi then as soon as I walked in the door....BOOM! Restraint time again. Really upping the ante for her and keeping her right by my side All.The.Time.
Well...the good news is J did well in the Reiki session last night and this morning was started without a restraint. Yeah! Salt/baking soda bath and baby time after session.
I am always excited about Wednesday's because it's THERAPY DAY!!! Woo hoo! Doing a little happy dance! A big session is planned today. Chris is coming to do Reiki and we'll start the session off with all 3 of us doing Reiki on her. I just dropped off the Reiki table at Kristy's office so that J won't have a clue.
There's alot I can't explain here but I am asking you to trust me and to pray that a large amount of yuckies will turn loose and leave today. Praying for miracles and expecting them.
Well...the good news is J did well in the Reiki session last night and this morning was started without a restraint. Yeah! Salt/baking soda bath and baby time after session.
I am always excited about Wednesday's because it's THERAPY DAY!!! Woo hoo! Doing a little happy dance! A big session is planned today. Chris is coming to do Reiki and we'll start the session off with all 3 of us doing Reiki on her. I just dropped off the Reiki table at Kristy's office so that J won't have a clue.
There's alot I can't explain here but I am asking you to trust me and to pray that a large amount of yuckies will turn loose and leave today. Praying for miracles and expecting them.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Wishing
It's amazing to me that our Radish lives (behaviors) are so parallel. We all live in different areas of the country and yet our kids seem to be pulling out similar behaviors at the exact same time. Interesting indeed....
I have spent several days wanting and wishing to blog about some things that are happening in our household but know that I can't right now.
2 restraints unavoidable this morning. 2 restraints necessary during AT yesterday. 3 hour AT session scheduled tomorrow. Something rattling (so much that it woke me up) my (locked) bedroom door at midnight while J was sleeping soundly in her room. J's prayer has become our mantra lately and it's said on an almost hourly basis.
I have spent several days wanting and wishing to blog about some things that are happening in our household but know that I can't right now.
2 restraints unavoidable this morning. 2 restraints necessary during AT yesterday. 3 hour AT session scheduled tomorrow. Something rattling (so much that it woke me up) my (locked) bedroom door at midnight while J was sleeping soundly in her room. J's prayer has become our mantra lately and it's said on an almost hourly basis.
Monday, September 22, 2008
My Mom and more
Thanks for all the prayers. It's been really appreciated.
Come to find out Mom's regular doctor prescribed a diuretic to go along with her blood pressure meds since her b/p meds haven't been working as well. This is a BIG problem because my mother has another condition that makes her have to drink water All.The.Time. (honestly...that's what her heart dr prescribed). If she doesn't drink water constantly she immediately passes out. She melts like a puddle onto the floor. So it goes without saying the diuretics were working against having to drink all the water so her sodium level bottomed out. By the time my dad got her to the hospital her b/p was 195/124. Very scary! They gave her an additional med to go with her b/p meds and told her to drink nothing but pedialyte or gatorade and eat extra salt. Today she goes to her heart dr and I am hoping she will inquire about a regular physician that will COMMUNICATE with her heart DR!
On the home front, we are still struggling. J is struggling with losing Chrissi and some days it drives me bonkers. Pushing to get in lots of baby time (remembering that she has to suck on the bottle) and snuggle time. Also using crazy straws with her mealtime drinks which is helpful for the sucking motions for her brain too.
I am still struggling because I. Miss. Chrissi. She was my daughter and friend for a year and now she is on another continent and it HURTS. Chrissi is not doing too well herself and is struggling too.
Lots of stress going on to with John having heart surgery, my aunt dying, then my mom, I've had the flu or some silliness. I am tired folks. Linda put it well here.
By 8:30 this AM I already had a phone call this morning that J was trying to be mean to Puddin, then threw a holy roller meltdown with the beating of the walls, doors, etc.
It is Monday.
Come to find out Mom's regular doctor prescribed a diuretic to go along with her blood pressure meds since her b/p meds haven't been working as well. This is a BIG problem because my mother has another condition that makes her have to drink water All.The.Time. (honestly...that's what her heart dr prescribed). If she doesn't drink water constantly she immediately passes out. She melts like a puddle onto the floor. So it goes without saying the diuretics were working against having to drink all the water so her sodium level bottomed out. By the time my dad got her to the hospital her b/p was 195/124. Very scary! They gave her an additional med to go with her b/p meds and told her to drink nothing but pedialyte or gatorade and eat extra salt. Today she goes to her heart dr and I am hoping she will inquire about a regular physician that will COMMUNICATE with her heart DR!
On the home front, we are still struggling. J is struggling with losing Chrissi and some days it drives me bonkers. Pushing to get in lots of baby time (remembering that she has to suck on the bottle) and snuggle time. Also using crazy straws with her mealtime drinks which is helpful for the sucking motions for her brain too.
I am still struggling because I. Miss. Chrissi. She was my daughter and friend for a year and now she is on another continent and it HURTS. Chrissi is not doing too well herself and is struggling too.
Lots of stress going on to with John having heart surgery, my aunt dying, then my mom, I've had the flu or some silliness. I am tired folks. Linda put it well here.
By 8:30 this AM I already had a phone call this morning that J was trying to be mean to Puddin, then threw a holy roller meltdown with the beating of the walls, doors, etc.
It is Monday.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Please Pray
Please pray for my mother. My dad is on the way to the hospital taking her to the emergency room. We think she may have a blockage in her heart. She has been going downhill fast this week. I am so scared. Leaving now to go to the hospital.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Puny
Thanks for the emails but I am really puny right now and just don't feel like typing. Just a very bad cold. Plus I miss Chrissi. Chrissi's sad, we're sad....we're all a sad lot at the moment. We were supposed to talk on Skype Monday night but I just felt too much like crap. Would've let J talk with her but I feel so yucky that I just didn't think I was up to managing behaviors.
God bless Chris....she did Reiki on me too last night. Weird stuff with J's session and really bad behavior afterwards.
I'll be back....just got to start feeling a little better.
God bless Chris....she did Reiki on me too last night. Weird stuff with J's session and really bad behavior afterwards.
I'll be back....just got to start feeling a little better.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Progress
Chrissi left yesterday and J had appropriate sadness and cried a lot off and on for the rest of the evening. Only a RAD mom would be so excited that their kid was sad. This is really great progress for J. I did lots of holdings with her yesterday and baby time (now that I know important it is that she SUCK on the bottle instead of chewing it) with chocolate goat milk (you already know that most RAD kids are allergic to bovine milk/cheese and it doesn't mimic lactose intolerance but meltdowns/behaviors instead) and chocolate oatmeal cookies. When you're sad you can never have too much chocolate. ;-)
Lordy I was sad to see Chrissi go home. Hugs at the airport and pictures made then I had to turn and start walking before I lost it in the middle of the airport. I sure do love that child and she was such a wonderful blessing for us this past year. She will be back to America of that I am sure. Probably before she expects to. She's going to have a hard time with a lot of things but she will persevere because she is not a quitter. Yes...Chrissi....I know that you are reading this so get out your American dictionary and look up persevere. ;-) Ok...enough about Chrissi cause I'm about to start crying again. :-(
Jessi is only going to let J have fun for the rest of the week to help her cope some with Chrissi leaving. A plan formed by AT, Chris & I and I think it's a good one. Jessi knows that if she's having a really hard time to bring her to my office so that we can cuddle and I can console her. I sure do wish I could be at home today. Friday afternoon 4:15 our time and 10:15 Chrissi's time we'll be talking on Skype. Thank God for Skype! If you don't know about it you need to check it out. All you need is a webcam with a microphone and you talk for FREE long distance anywhere with anyone else who has Skpye. It's in real time and it's a wonderful way to keep in touch with loved ones and the bonus is to be able to see them too. Check out www.skype.com.
Chrissi, J has carried Bo Peep everywhere and is convinced (hoping) you'll be here for a visit at Christmas! Selfishly wishing you were here too.
Lordy I was sad to see Chrissi go home. Hugs at the airport and pictures made then I had to turn and start walking before I lost it in the middle of the airport. I sure do love that child and she was such a wonderful blessing for us this past year. She will be back to America of that I am sure. Probably before she expects to. She's going to have a hard time with a lot of things but she will persevere because she is not a quitter. Yes...Chrissi....I know that you are reading this so get out your American dictionary and look up persevere. ;-) Ok...enough about Chrissi cause I'm about to start crying again. :-(
Jessi is only going to let J have fun for the rest of the week to help her cope some with Chrissi leaving. A plan formed by AT, Chris & I and I think it's a good one. Jessi knows that if she's having a really hard time to bring her to my office so that we can cuddle and I can console her. I sure do wish I could be at home today. Friday afternoon 4:15 our time and 10:15 Chrissi's time we'll be talking on Skype. Thank God for Skype! If you don't know about it you need to check it out. All you need is a webcam with a microphone and you talk for FREE long distance anywhere with anyone else who has Skpye. It's in real time and it's a wonderful way to keep in touch with loved ones and the bonus is to be able to see them too. Check out www.skype.com.
Chrissi, J has carried Bo Peep everywhere and is convinced (hoping) you'll be here for a visit at Christmas! Selfishly wishing you were here too.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Winding down -edited
Emergency attachment therapy with Kristy (AT) yesterday proved to be very helpful. While there it was discovered that since we've uncovered all these new demons J is having another internal struggle believing that I will not give up on her. Her energy was flipped again and Kristy was able to flip it again. Here is a direct quote from AT to Chris on the other blog we keep to just focus on therapies:
Lisa will probably want to add to this, but the session was very positive. We worked on straightening out J's energy; she was able to relate to being afraid her awesome mom might not be able to handle the evil yuckies (and her fear is higher, so her basic fear of not trusting her care-giver - awesome mom - is ratcheted up). She received reassurance from mom.
When Lisa first adopted J, J would eat other people's food and restaurant food, but not Lisa's food. Lisa took her for mexican before our appt, just to see, and J gobbled up her food. We processed this as well. Then we did some regressive work with J sitting in mom's lap, being fed warm, soft cookies with a baby spoon and drinking apple juice. It was hard for J to maintain eye contact with Lisa, but she did relax and I thought the energy/aura around her was much more peaceful than I have seen in awhile.
She is still really scared and as a result gets giddy/silly when we work on the heart connection with Lisa. But, at the end of the session her energy was strong and more focused and she was determined, at least for tonight to be strong, good and kind to her awesome mom. We called on AA Michael and J called on her angel, Sarial, who brought her thousands and will stay with her all night holding her hand.
I did regressive (bottle feeding & spoon feeding) while cradling ALOT when J first arrived but thought she was past it as it no longer had the great affect. I still do regressive work with J at home albeit not near enough and I am going to make a concerted effort to do this more often right now. Kristy also pointed out that it's VERY important that J SUCK on the bottle's nipple to get the juice out rather than chew on the nipple. It is REALLY important for her brain to suck while looking in my eyes. I did not know that. Just assumed that it was ok to do this. Point taken and correction made.
Chris has given her a new prayer to say to the yuckies:
“ 'I am a child of God. You will not influence me any longer. You are no longer welcome. You must leave. I command this in the name of God and in the name of Jesus Christ.' ”
"Say this 3 times whenever she seems to be at her worst. Say it also, three times, before she retires in the evening and once she awakens in the morning – before anything else. It is important that you keep commanding, as opposed to demanding.
There are more details to this prayer that I'm not going to blog about here but Texas Mary & Gerri, you know what I'm talking about.
J now has the prayer memorized as we worked diligently on it last night.
We are winding down to Chrissi's last days in America. We will leave to take her to the airport at lunch on Monday. Sad to see her go but it is the best for all of us and I know she's excited to see her family. Her family is going to be shocked at what an independent woman she has become.
I am taking avantage of the last days by taking a break this weekend so that I can come back recharged & revitalized.
More winding down in that my aunt, Cheryl (father's sister) is now in a coma and it's only a matter of hours that she has yet to fight.
John is still in CCU and waiting to see if the doctors can come up with a plan.
To end on a high note I discovered this site by total accident. The 30 Day Gourmet is a woman after my own heart. I have been making and freezing meals from all my favorite recipes for years now to make life easier. Folks....I even freeze mashed potatoes!!! So why bother getting this cook book??? Because I loved that she had grocery lists that I can download (keep me from having to write All.That.Stuff.), ways to organize my freezer meals and that she had a wonderful set of freezer lunches that can be used for kids that go to brick and mortar schools and working parents. I'm going to try doing the latter and save some money on lunches. She even has some vegetarian meals I'm going to try. It's wonderful to be able to have a REAL dinner on the table in 15 minutes or less and it'll be even better to have some new freezable recipes. So if you want a huge timesaver give this a try. She led me to another site that had wonderful ideas on frozen breakfast because that's when I really stress. Trying to have a healthy, filling breakfast and get me out the door to work at the same time. I may have to put another freezer on my wish list. :-)
Lisa will probably want to add to this, but the session was very positive. We worked on straightening out J's energy; she was able to relate to being afraid her awesome mom might not be able to handle the evil yuckies (and her fear is higher, so her basic fear of not trusting her care-giver - awesome mom - is ratcheted up). She received reassurance from mom.
When Lisa first adopted J, J would eat other people's food and restaurant food, but not Lisa's food. Lisa took her for mexican before our appt, just to see, and J gobbled up her food. We processed this as well. Then we did some regressive work with J sitting in mom's lap, being fed warm, soft cookies with a baby spoon and drinking apple juice. It was hard for J to maintain eye contact with Lisa, but she did relax and I thought the energy/aura around her was much more peaceful than I have seen in awhile.
She is still really scared and as a result gets giddy/silly when we work on the heart connection with Lisa. But, at the end of the session her energy was strong and more focused and she was determined, at least for tonight to be strong, good and kind to her awesome mom. We called on AA Michael and J called on her angel, Sarial, who brought her thousands and will stay with her all night holding her hand.
I did regressive (bottle feeding & spoon feeding) while cradling ALOT when J first arrived but thought she was past it as it no longer had the great affect. I still do regressive work with J at home albeit not near enough and I am going to make a concerted effort to do this more often right now. Kristy also pointed out that it's VERY important that J SUCK on the bottle's nipple to get the juice out rather than chew on the nipple. It is REALLY important for her brain to suck while looking in my eyes. I did not know that. Just assumed that it was ok to do this. Point taken and correction made.
Chris has given her a new prayer to say to the yuckies:
“ 'I am a child of God. You will not influence me any longer. You are no longer welcome. You must leave. I command this in the name of God and in the name of Jesus Christ.' ”
"Say this 3 times whenever she seems to be at her worst. Say it also, three times, before she retires in the evening and once she awakens in the morning – before anything else. It is important that you keep commanding, as opposed to demanding.
There are more details to this prayer that I'm not going to blog about here but Texas Mary & Gerri, you know what I'm talking about.
J now has the prayer memorized as we worked diligently on it last night.
We are winding down to Chrissi's last days in America. We will leave to take her to the airport at lunch on Monday. Sad to see her go but it is the best for all of us and I know she's excited to see her family. Her family is going to be shocked at what an independent woman she has become.
I am taking avantage of the last days by taking a break this weekend so that I can come back recharged & revitalized.
More winding down in that my aunt, Cheryl (father's sister) is now in a coma and it's only a matter of hours that she has yet to fight.
John is still in CCU and waiting to see if the doctors can come up with a plan.
To end on a high note I discovered this site by total accident. The 30 Day Gourmet is a woman after my own heart. I have been making and freezing meals from all my favorite recipes for years now to make life easier. Folks....I even freeze mashed potatoes!!! So why bother getting this cook book??? Because I loved that she had grocery lists that I can download (keep me from having to write All.That.Stuff.), ways to organize my freezer meals and that she had a wonderful set of freezer lunches that can be used for kids that go to brick and mortar schools and working parents. I'm going to try doing the latter and save some money on lunches. She even has some vegetarian meals I'm going to try. It's wonderful to be able to have a REAL dinner on the table in 15 minutes or less and it'll be even better to have some new freezable recipes. So if you want a huge timesaver give this a try. She led me to another site that had wonderful ideas on frozen breakfast because that's when I really stress. Trying to have a healthy, filling breakfast and get me out the door to work at the same time. I may have to put another freezer on my wish list. :-)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Don't hit publish before you finish
My butt is draggin and I am tired. I know J is going through some stuff. I am not going to quit on her or the therapies that I KNOW will help her in the long run. Nope. Even though I know it would make it easier right now. I am not a quiter. But I am butt draggin tired and frustrated and sad (probably mad too if I'm REALLY honest) and just trying to put one foot in front of the other. I am soooo out of patience but I try not to show it to the princess.
Last night when we got home after AT and she walked in the door in front of me saying, "Iggy goes first!" On the inside I said, "oh no she just didn't!!!!) (Iggy is her pet name that I call her that is short for Ignoramus since she STILL isn't going to school and NO she has no idea what it means and I don't use it in a sarcastic tone of voice. Sometimes it's Wiggy Iggy when she's wigging out.) She got the pleasure of sitting outside in our glorious fall weather for a bit. Again...patience has left the building.
This morning she threw a screaming, kicking fit on Jessi and I am thankful Jessi didn't get hurt. G goes over to my house and tries to talk her in his Oh J is soooo pitiful voice. Now J....we don't hit our teacher....we need to go to school now honey.....now let's just see if we can do what the teacher says for just an hour sweetie.... Wonder what part of "we" did that???? For 30 minutes she was actually able to follow Jessi's directions but she never made it school. *heavy sigh*
Y'all did notice that I wasn't in on any of that right????
I'm so scattered I hit post before I was through.
J is now refusing to eat again and refusing to poop again. Control on crack is what I'm talking about.
A very dear friend of mine was supposed to have a heart cath done yesterday. Dr's refused to do it. The whole bottom of his heart is blocked, he has blockages in his legs and emphysema. Doing more tests today. Before this happened he was already running on only 40% of his heart due to damage from a botched heart surgery 15 years ago.
Last night when we got home after AT and she walked in the door in front of me saying, "Iggy goes first!" On the inside I said, "oh no she just didn't!!!!) (Iggy is her pet name that I call her that is short for Ignoramus since she STILL isn't going to school and NO she has no idea what it means and I don't use it in a sarcastic tone of voice. Sometimes it's Wiggy Iggy when she's wigging out.) She got the pleasure of sitting outside in our glorious fall weather for a bit. Again...patience has left the building.
This morning she threw a screaming, kicking fit on Jessi and I am thankful Jessi didn't get hurt. G goes over to my house and tries to talk her in his Oh J is soooo pitiful voice. Now J....we don't hit our teacher....we need to go to school now honey.....now let's just see if we can do what the teacher says for just an hour sweetie.... Wonder what part of "we" did that???? For 30 minutes she was actually able to follow Jessi's directions but she never made it school. *heavy sigh*
Y'all did notice that I wasn't in on any of that right????
I'm so scattered I hit post before I was through.
J is now refusing to eat again and refusing to poop again. Control on crack is what I'm talking about.
A very dear friend of mine was supposed to have a heart cath done yesterday. Dr's refused to do it. The whole bottom of his heart is blocked, he has blockages in his legs and emphysema. Doing more tests today. Before this happened he was already running on only 40% of his heart due to damage from a botched heart surgery 15 years ago.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
This morning J was all of sorts. Couldn't do power sitting to save her life. Couldn't find her good attitude either. When I left to go to work she still couldn't find either. That's an hour of struggle. A morning filled with lovely (I'm being facetious here) devil inspired "I'm waiting on you to turn your head so I can kill you and drink your blood" looks from my dear child.
I have no idea how "babysitting" (formerly known as school) time went because you know I gave that up. I do know that it was pretty darn ugly for Chrissi yesterday afternoon. G came over for dinner. He had bought some beautiful filet mignon's that just lit up my carnivorous life. I threw them on the grill and Chrissi had baked potatoes so life was complete. An hour later J is still eating. Push, push, pushing those buttons. Opening her mouth wide to let us see the masticated steer in all it's glory. Yum! Groaning, whining and complaining dramatically to all who would listen.
Thanking God that Chris got there when she did because 4 days of this unrelentless behavior was making me want to just pinch her little head off! Things were much improved after the Reiki session. During snuggle time J said, "mama, I don't want my yuckies to leave but I DO want them to leave." Trying to be understanding because I know how hard it is to give something up even though you really want to. It's become really comfortable so it's hard to release sometimes.
This morning when I went to get her up she was STILL in a deep sleep. Yahoo! No dark circles under her eyes. (She does have a long scratch across her forehead where she must have scratched herself during her sleep.) She said that she was only up to go to the bathroom one time and then went right back to sleep. J was very in control of the yuckies today. Sweet, strong, brave J was back! Very good attitude, trying hard, being helpful, etc. No more evil, "I'm going to kill you" looks.
Whew! Another storm weathered!
I have no idea how "babysitting" (formerly known as school) time went because you know I gave that up. I do know that it was pretty darn ugly for Chrissi yesterday afternoon. G came over for dinner. He had bought some beautiful filet mignon's that just lit up my carnivorous life. I threw them on the grill and Chrissi had baked potatoes so life was complete. An hour later J is still eating. Push, push, pushing those buttons. Opening her mouth wide to let us see the masticated steer in all it's glory. Yum! Groaning, whining and complaining dramatically to all who would listen.
Thanking God that Chris got there when she did because 4 days of this unrelentless behavior was making me want to just pinch her little head off! Things were much improved after the Reiki session. During snuggle time J said, "mama, I don't want my yuckies to leave but I DO want them to leave." Trying to be understanding because I know how hard it is to give something up even though you really want to. It's become really comfortable so it's hard to release sometimes.
This morning when I went to get her up she was STILL in a deep sleep. Yahoo! No dark circles under her eyes. (She does have a long scratch across her forehead where she must have scratched herself during her sleep.) She said that she was only up to go to the bathroom one time and then went right back to sleep. J was very in control of the yuckies today. Sweet, strong, brave J was back! Very good attitude, trying hard, being helpful, etc. No more evil, "I'm going to kill you" looks.
Whew! Another storm weathered!
Oppositional Defiant
This weekend was a very (ODD) weekend for J. As all you RAD moms know that if you just tell them to do the opposite of what you actually want them to do they will do what you want. Didn't. Work.
Frustrated.
Very clingy with G. Would walk on the other side of him to keep from holding my hand, etc. Sitting next to him at breakfast.... In essence trying to push my buttons. Didn't. Work.
Yeah for me!
I was off yesterday and J stayed with Chrissi. I layed in the bed until noon (not asleep) at the lake! Gasp! Watched Gustav on CNN all morning.
At noon I finally got out of the bed at noon and dragged my sorry fanny to the couch and watched 27 Dresses. Finally got dressed at 2:30 just before G got home from work at 3. Enjoyed some quality time with him until 6ish and made it home just in time to kiss J goodnight.
Frustrated.
Very clingy with G. Would walk on the other side of him to keep from holding my hand, etc. Sitting next to him at breakfast.... In essence trying to push my buttons. Didn't. Work.
Yeah for me!
I was off yesterday and J stayed with Chrissi. I layed in the bed until noon (not asleep) at the lake! Gasp! Watched Gustav on CNN all morning.
At noon I finally got out of the bed at noon and dragged my sorry fanny to the couch and watched 27 Dresses. Finally got dressed at 2:30 just before G got home from work at 3. Enjoyed some quality time with him until 6ish and made it home just in time to kiss J goodnight.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Your Funnies for the Day
These were posted on a forum for RAD many months ago.
You know you're a RAD Mom when...
you suspect that the cat is limping because your child hurt his paw.
you panic when someone says your daughter is in the other room with a
baby.
you're cleaning up poop that you've found under the bed (and it's not
a pet's poop!)
you hear a child cry in the same room as your child, and you wonder
what your child did to that child.
your child goes up to strangers to ask them to buy her something
because Mom won't buy it for her. (Mom knows that she really doesn't
even want it and will destroy it anyway.)
you get upset when people give her things that you know she will just
destroy in a few minutes.
your child says she's hungry five minutes after she's eaten and makes
others believe that you're refusing to feed her.
you suspect your child of stealing whenever you can't find something
(and you're almost always right).
you don't believe the first answer your child gives you. You'll get
quite a few answers and may never get the truth from your child.
you cringe when someone (who does not know your child well) says that
you have a such a sweet child.
And you tuck your child into bed, turn on the alarm to their room and turn in yourself, locking your bedroom door behind you..............
You know you're a RAD mom when you take one child to be tested for STD after
molestation by another one and find yourself thinking, there one more task
off my to do list.....
you know you're a RAD mom when the threat of a snow day sets you into
panic..........
you know you're a RAD mom when you know all the locks, alarms and security
devices and where to find them in your area
You know you're a RAD mom when you have 4 different phone numbers to get in
touch with the therapist and have the police on speed dial!
you know you're a RAD mom when you automatically check under your child's window in search or urine or feces
you know you're a RAD mom when you've contacted the fire dept to find out what locks you can LEGALLY put on your child's windows
you know you're a RAD mom when you purposely cut down a tree because it's too close to your child's windows
you know you're a RAD mom you your child's timeline is 4x as long as yours - and you're 3x older!
You know you're a RAD mom when you know all the psychiatrists in your city
and a 30 mile radius and which ones take medicaid........
You know the names of most psychotropic drugs
You know you're a RAD mom when your money is being spent on replacing things
your child has broken, medications, shelters, attorneys, RTC's
You know you're a RAD mom when you dread holidays and birthdays........
You know you're a RAD mom when your:
*Every adult at your child's school knows him by his name and hug.
When you look at your bookcase and it's filled with books on attachment,
trauma, adoption along with other books on various learning disabilities and
a copy of Wright's Law and you have yet another book on trauma waiting in
the wings to be read!
When your friends ask you what you've been reading and you rattle off the
name of some research article and you're actually excited talking about it!
Mine:
You know you're a RAD mom when...
you find a pile of caramels vomited under her bed and don't even gag.
You're kid can projectile vomit on you from 6 feet away.
You're 5 y/o can take an entire door frame off in 10 minutes or less with her bare hands. 100+ nails
You're 7 y/o will stand looking at you and pee right on the carpet instead of walking 5 ft to use the bathroom.
You're kid looks like their head is going to spin around on their shoulders at any moment.
Now here are Torina's additions.
You know you're a RAD Mom when...
you suspect that the cat is limping because your child hurt his paw.
you panic when someone says your daughter is in the other room with a
baby.
you're cleaning up poop that you've found under the bed (and it's not
a pet's poop!)
you hear a child cry in the same room as your child, and you wonder
what your child did to that child.
your child goes up to strangers to ask them to buy her something
because Mom won't buy it for her. (Mom knows that she really doesn't
even want it and will destroy it anyway.)
you get upset when people give her things that you know she will just
destroy in a few minutes.
your child says she's hungry five minutes after she's eaten and makes
others believe that you're refusing to feed her.
you suspect your child of stealing whenever you can't find something
(and you're almost always right).
you don't believe the first answer your child gives you. You'll get
quite a few answers and may never get the truth from your child.
you cringe when someone (who does not know your child well) says that
you have a such a sweet child.
And you tuck your child into bed, turn on the alarm to their room and turn in yourself, locking your bedroom door behind you..............
You know you're a RAD mom when you take one child to be tested for STD after
molestation by another one and find yourself thinking, there one more task
off my to do list.....
you know you're a RAD mom when the threat of a snow day sets you into
panic..........
you know you're a RAD mom when you know all the locks, alarms and security
devices and where to find them in your area
You know you're a RAD mom when you have 4 different phone numbers to get in
touch with the therapist and have the police on speed dial!
you know you're a RAD mom when you automatically check under your child's window in search or urine or feces
you know you're a RAD mom when you've contacted the fire dept to find out what locks you can LEGALLY put on your child's windows
you know you're a RAD mom when you purposely cut down a tree because it's too close to your child's windows
you know you're a RAD mom you your child's timeline is 4x as long as yours - and you're 3x older!
You know you're a RAD mom when you know all the psychiatrists in your city
and a 30 mile radius and which ones take medicaid........
You know the names of most psychotropic drugs
You know you're a RAD mom when your money is being spent on replacing things
your child has broken, medications, shelters, attorneys, RTC's
You know you're a RAD mom when you dread holidays and birthdays........
You know you're a RAD mom when your:
*Every adult at your child's school knows him by his name and hug.
When you look at your bookcase and it's filled with books on attachment,
trauma, adoption along with other books on various learning disabilities and
a copy of Wright's Law and you have yet another book on trauma waiting in
the wings to be read!
When your friends ask you what you've been reading and you rattle off the
name of some research article and you're actually excited talking about it!
Mine:
You know you're a RAD mom when...
you find a pile of caramels vomited under her bed and don't even gag.
You're kid can projectile vomit on you from 6 feet away.
You're 5 y/o can take an entire door frame off in 10 minutes or less with her bare hands. 100+ nails
You're 7 y/o will stand looking at you and pee right on the carpet instead of walking 5 ft to use the bathroom.
You're kid looks like their head is going to spin around on their shoulders at any moment.
Now here are Torina's additions.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Still a little shaky
Things are still a little shaky but much improved over Tuesday and Wednesday. Reiki Tuesday night and AT yesterday. J's a little out of sorts and I'm trying my best to help her and most of the time she is receptive to the assistance.
Still not caring about school and she's still not going to school. Basically just rolling around on the floor from 8-12 with mini-tramp jumps every 1/2 hour or so. My kid is stubborn ya know. That's all I know and that's all I want to know. AT went just like last week where Jessi and J went in to deal with their stuff and then I went in with J for regular AT. Only 1 hour this week due to a scheduled root canal for the AT. Bless Kristy's heart. I hate only 1 hour appointments though.
Salt/soda bath again last night and I thought it was going to be a repeat of the one she had a few weeks ago. Texas Mary and Gerri....you know what I'm talking about. I was reading Little Women to her while I was sitting on the toilet (with the lid down folks). You could see it coming. The cloud came over her face and then things started getting scary. Out loud I kept calling on Jesus and Archangel Michael to remove the yuckies and help her feel better. I called for Christ to shine His light on her and into her soul. She had a bunch of crystals in the bath with her (she loves to take crystal baths), amethyst, quartz, pink quartz, etc and she started frantically grabbing all of them and putting them on her stomach. She said the crystals would protect her. She had turned beet red again in the blink of an eye. A few minutes of calling for all the angels to help her she returned to normal. Whew!
Afterwards she asked me if I would smudge the house and I did. She was asleep 15 minutes after her head hit the pillow. This morning the dark circles under her eyes were almost gone so she slept a little better at least.
Still not caring about school and she's still not going to school. Basically just rolling around on the floor from 8-12 with mini-tramp jumps every 1/2 hour or so. My kid is stubborn ya know. That's all I know and that's all I want to know. AT went just like last week where Jessi and J went in to deal with their stuff and then I went in with J for regular AT. Only 1 hour this week due to a scheduled root canal for the AT. Bless Kristy's heart. I hate only 1 hour appointments though.
Salt/soda bath again last night and I thought it was going to be a repeat of the one she had a few weeks ago. Texas Mary and Gerri....you know what I'm talking about. I was reading Little Women to her while I was sitting on the toilet (with the lid down folks). You could see it coming. The cloud came over her face and then things started getting scary. Out loud I kept calling on Jesus and Archangel Michael to remove the yuckies and help her feel better. I called for Christ to shine His light on her and into her soul. She had a bunch of crystals in the bath with her (she loves to take crystal baths), amethyst, quartz, pink quartz, etc and she started frantically grabbing all of them and putting them on her stomach. She said the crystals would protect her. She had turned beet red again in the blink of an eye. A few minutes of calling for all the angels to help her she returned to normal. Whew!
Afterwards she asked me if I would smudge the house and I did. She was asleep 15 minutes after her head hit the pillow. This morning the dark circles under her eyes were almost gone so she slept a little better at least.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Going through some stuff
I knew it was coming and trying not to blame it on the progress report but things are shaky all over here. Will blog about it later when I get my thoughts together.
On a lighter note, 12.4 inces of rain in 2 days! Yahoo!
Y'all I have an announcement to make. Drum roll please.....
My dear friend Texas Mary, (a/k/a Squeak and Mary the Mom) has FINALLY started blogging. Please give her a warm welcome and a big hug. She is an awesome woman and has lots to share so please go show her some blogger love at Muddling through Mayhem. Mary is the mom to 4 and 2 of them are little radishes.
On a lighter note, 12.4 inces of rain in 2 days! Yahoo!
Y'all I have an announcement to make. Drum roll please.....
My dear friend Texas Mary, (a/k/a Squeak and Mary the Mom) has FINALLY started blogging. Please give her a warm welcome and a big hug. She is an awesome woman and has lots to share so please go show her some blogger love at Muddling through Mayhem. Mary is the mom to 4 and 2 of them are little radishes.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Nice Quiet Weekend
No lake this weekend just a nice, quiet, peaceful weekend at home. No drama. I was really afraid that after my post on Friday night that she might prove me wrong. Sometimes that happens you know.... She's working on a little project in her spare time. She's writing down all the things she has to remember. It's alot! All the nitty gritty little details. Thought it would be an interesting project for those times when she wants to "involve" herself in other people's business. Cause if you think about it...when you mind your own business it's a full time job. I'll use the bathroom as an example.
1. Go to bathroom
2. Turn on light
3. Lift toilet lid
4. Sit on toilet and do your business
5. Make sure all your business is deposited into toilet
6. Check to make sure you've done all your business
7. Remember to wipe appropriate areas
8. Make sure areas are clean
9. Remember to throw tissue in toilet
10. Put toilet lid down
11. Flush
12. Apply soap to hands
13. Wash hands while singing ABC song.
14. Rinse hands
15. Dry hands
16. Turn off light
Life sure does have a lot of details when you think about it. She has been impressed with everything she has to remember too.
Reiki last night and J said 3 yuckies left. Whoo hoo!
Folks, a miracle happened here last night. It's raining! Not just a sprinkle that doesn't even leave water under the trees. A real rain. 3 inches according to my parents who live about 4 miles away! Even my poke weeds had wilted so I am sure that they're doing a little dance. Funny how weather changes the mood of people. Complete strangers in the post office this morning had little grins on their faces and were making happy comments regarding our rain.
Paring down my hyperlinks to just one today. Thought it was really cool so I had to share. I'm still so new to the blogging world so I love getting help on how to manage, etiquette, etc.
1. Go to bathroom
2. Turn on light
3. Lift toilet lid
4. Sit on toilet and do your business
5. Make sure all your business is deposited into toilet
6. Check to make sure you've done all your business
7. Remember to wipe appropriate areas
8. Make sure areas are clean
9. Remember to throw tissue in toilet
10. Put toilet lid down
11. Flush
12. Apply soap to hands
13. Wash hands while singing ABC song.
14. Rinse hands
15. Dry hands
16. Turn off light
Life sure does have a lot of details when you think about it. She has been impressed with everything she has to remember too.
Reiki last night and J said 3 yuckies left. Whoo hoo!
Folks, a miracle happened here last night. It's raining! Not just a sprinkle that doesn't even leave water under the trees. A real rain. 3 inches according to my parents who live about 4 miles away! Even my poke weeds had wilted so I am sure that they're doing a little dance. Funny how weather changes the mood of people. Complete strangers in the post office this morning had little grins on their faces and were making happy comments regarding our rain.
Paring down my hyperlinks to just one today. Thought it was really cool so I had to share. I'm still so new to the blogging world so I love getting help on how to manage, etiquette, etc.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Gratitude & Comment Replies
Gerri, I do believe our girls are conspiring against us. Haven't you noticed Alyssa's on the phone with J late at night while we're peacefully sleeping? We need to be checking our phone bills. ;-0 It does seem to go in cycles. Maybe it's the moon cycle or something.
Yep, Thorn, I can wear something out. While emailing CJ a little stuff yesterday, I just discovered that you can do it in Outlook Express. Don't you feel sorry for all my email buddies now? ;-) Actually, Lauri taught me to do it several months ago. Aren't you glad you weren't reading my blog then!? I was really over the top! But then again, I am a Freak (see comments from Gerri in the last couple of days - she knows me really well). No, I'm really a Super Freak. If you're going to do something do it really big. CJ will verify that for you too!
Gratitude is the foundation for everything that I do. If hadn't been well schooled (thanks Priscilla) in gratitude before J, I don't think we'd have ever made it. I have to be really conscious of the progress that she has made and for all the little things that she's accomplished or I would've drowned in depression a long time ago. It's so easy to forget from where we come. I get lost in the drama, rages and well...just life in general if I don't make a concerted effort daily. You do NOT want to be around me if I'm not doing the gratitude list. Heck! I don't even want to be around me. It's not a pretty picture. Yuck! I keep all my lists in a journal and look back on them sometimes. Then it's really astounding! I've been remiss in posting some of our gratitude lists on here. I'm going to rectify that at the end of this post.
Torina, I am so tickled that you liked the Therapy Shoppe! It might really be a big disappointment but this therapy tool looks like it might prove to be very helpful. They had a lot of cool stuff I wish I had known about a long time ago.
Just in case you're new to my blog here's something you need to check out. This was Friday, April 4, 2008
This progress from that post to this one is this:
1. She hasn't had a true rage meltdown at all on me in months. (Notice I said "me")
2. She hasn't hit the doors or walls in months.
3. I haven't been bit, kicked, spit-on or hit in over 4 months.
4. She hasn't tried to hurt Puddin since March 2008.
5. She now LOVES to sit in my lap and give hugs on my terms.
6. She has earned the privilege of petting Puddin almost daily. (Always supervised)
7. She has earned the privilege of feeding and giving treats to Puddin.
8. She is an absolute joy to be around 90% of the time.
9. No longer does she sleep with the covers pulled so tightly around her face that I wonder how she breathes.
10. She is willing to work hard on her life. (most days)
That folks, is a lot to be grateful for!
Here's J's Gratitude:
1. Awesome Mom
2. Ms. Chris doing Reiki on me.
3. Play date with Roman & Siena
4. Mom reading Little Women to me.
5. 204 jumps with the jump rope. (non-stop)
6. Lots of people helping me heal my heart.
My daughter has beautiful spirit that is fighting to come out. I am so proud of her!
Yep, Thorn, I can wear something out. While emailing CJ a little stuff yesterday, I just discovered that you can do it in Outlook Express. Don't you feel sorry for all my email buddies now? ;-) Actually, Lauri taught me to do it several months ago. Aren't you glad you weren't reading my blog then!? I was really over the top! But then again, I am a Freak (see comments from Gerri in the last couple of days - she knows me really well). No, I'm really a Super Freak. If you're going to do something do it really big. CJ will verify that for you too!
Gratitude is the foundation for everything that I do. If hadn't been well schooled (thanks Priscilla) in gratitude before J, I don't think we'd have ever made it. I have to be really conscious of the progress that she has made and for all the little things that she's accomplished or I would've drowned in depression a long time ago. It's so easy to forget from where we come. I get lost in the drama, rages and well...just life in general if I don't make a concerted effort daily. You do NOT want to be around me if I'm not doing the gratitude list. Heck! I don't even want to be around me. It's not a pretty picture. Yuck! I keep all my lists in a journal and look back on them sometimes. Then it's really astounding! I've been remiss in posting some of our gratitude lists on here. I'm going to rectify that at the end of this post.
Torina, I am so tickled that you liked the Therapy Shoppe! It might really be a big disappointment but this therapy tool looks like it might prove to be very helpful. They had a lot of cool stuff I wish I had known about a long time ago.
Just in case you're new to my blog here's something you need to check out. This was Friday, April 4, 2008
This progress from that post to this one is this:
1. She hasn't had a true rage meltdown at all on me in months. (Notice I said "me")
2. She hasn't hit the doors or walls in months.
3. I haven't been bit, kicked, spit-on or hit in over 4 months.
4. She hasn't tried to hurt Puddin since March 2008.
5. She now LOVES to sit in my lap and give hugs on my terms.
6. She has earned the privilege of petting Puddin almost daily. (Always supervised)
7. She has earned the privilege of feeding and giving treats to Puddin.
8. She is an absolute joy to be around 90% of the time.
9. No longer does she sleep with the covers pulled so tightly around her face that I wonder how she breathes.
10. She is willing to work hard on her life. (most days)
That folks, is a lot to be grateful for!
Here's J's Gratitude:
1. Awesome Mom
2. Ms. Chris doing Reiki on me.
3. Play date with Roman & Siena
4. Mom reading Little Women to me.
5. 204 jumps with the jump rope. (non-stop)
6. Lots of people helping me heal my heart.
My daughter has beautiful spirit that is fighting to come out. I am so proud of her!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Since my discovery of The Therapy Shoppe, I found a couple things I got for J. Hoping they prove helpful. One of them was this which is a struggle for a lot of kids. This was the other thing which will hopefully just help accentuate all the tools that she is already using. I'll let you know if they are helpful at all.
As is always with a radalicious kid it is 2 steps forward and one back. Tuesday & Wednesday she made about 5 steps forward and has now taken about 2 back. But that's still 3 steps up so that is wonderful!
There's a good bit of whining going on for some reason and just general out of sorts but nothing major. When I went in her room this morning she was giving Reiki to herself so that was encouraging. Anything she can do to be a part of her recovery is a good thing. Plus being willing to do something different.
I love Pioneer Woman and I stalk her site regularly! One of this morning's post was about chores and she bragged about this book, Choreganizers. We don't typically have a problem with this but I thought it was a very clever idea so I thought I'd share. Especially how it tells the child "how" to do the chore. Boy! I sure could've saved some work for myself if I'd had one of these a couple of years ago! Pretty cool!
As is always with a radalicious kid it is 2 steps forward and one back. Tuesday & Wednesday she made about 5 steps forward and has now taken about 2 back. But that's still 3 steps up so that is wonderful!
There's a good bit of whining going on for some reason and just general out of sorts but nothing major. When I went in her room this morning she was giving Reiki to herself so that was encouraging. Anything she can do to be a part of her recovery is a good thing. Plus being willing to do something different.
I love Pioneer Woman and I stalk her site regularly! One of this morning's post was about chores and she bragged about this book, Choreganizers. We don't typically have a problem with this but I thought it was a very clever idea so I thought I'd share. Especially how it tells the child "how" to do the chore. Boy! I sure could've saved some work for myself if I'd had one of these a couple of years ago! Pretty cool!
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